How much more can I handle?

[mysterie91]

We met with an attorney last Tuesday and he looked over our figures and told us that we would be a "tight" Ch 7 but we can rebutt the presumption of abuse by claiming medical expenses - my husband is a diabetic.

Since this meeting:

(1) I have realized that I have thrown out all of my reciepts for non-prescription items, household stuff, etc. So I have no "proof" of some expenses.

(2) I have re-run 6 month figures using September data and my estimates on Schedule J now seem too high and supposedly we have a few hundred in disposable income each month. Looks like 7 is not even possible and we will be filing 13.

(3) My husband has been in pain for months now with an absessed tooth and other dental issues. Finally went to a dentist out of desperation and he needs 2 teeth pulled for over $400.00 and needs an additional $3900 worth of work done over the course of the next few months. They have a payment plan of a few hundred per month interest, with GOOD credit - which we don't have.

(4) The morning of meeting with the attorney my glasses broke. I cannot see at all without them. We taped them together so I could get to the optomotrist who told me that my 6 year old glasses could not be repaired. Had to order a new pair for $360.00 - but they take a week so I am wearing duct taped glasses!

(5) Friday my 2.5 year old son was taken to the hospital for tests as he was having severe stomach cramping and they were concerned about kidneys or appendix. They have no idea what caused it but he is better now but we have been referred to a ped. gastro specialist.

(6) I inquired as to my husbands blood sugars and appointments and he told me that he has not been testing his sugar to save on the medical espenses and has been cutting corners with his meds. Also has cancelled the last 2 appts with his endocrinologist.

I am just at my wits end. If I could just "give up" I would. I feel like all the fight has been sucked out of me. I don't even know where to turn anymore. It seems like we can never catch a break. Thanks for listening.

[BKOnce]

Sorry to hear, God bless your family. You can try walmart, they sell cheaper glass frame for around $50 last time.

[lrprn]

You really are dealing with a huge load right now, mysterie....so sorry to hear about all the troubles

(1) I have realized that I have thrown out all of my reciepts for non-prescription items, household stuff, etc. So I have no "proof" of some expenses.

Frankly almost no one keeps these kinds of receipts. Unless you are claiming an outrageous amount for aspirin and toilet bowl cleaner , don't worry about this.

(2) I have re-run 6 month figures using September data and my estimates on Schedule J now seem too high and supposedly we have a few hundred in disposable income each month. Looks like 7 is not even possible and we will be filing 13.

As long as your estimates are reasonable for your area where you live, that's what matters. My guess is that you are doing without in a major way - your expenses aren't near reasonable for your situation. Discuss this with your lawyer, but I'm thinking you are going to be ok.

(3) My husband has been in pain for months now with an absessed tooth and other dental issues. Finally went to a dentist out of desperation and he needs 2 teeth pulled for over $400.00 and needs an additional $3900 worth of work done over the course of the next few months. They have a payment plan of a few hundred per month interest, with GOOD credit - which we don't have.

Explain your financial situation and ask about what's possible in this situation. Also if you live near a university with a dental school, many will offer this procedure for a much lower cost. Gotta get creative, although I know it's hard right now when you're feeling so overwhelmed at the moment )

(4) The morning of meeting with the attorney my glasses broke. I cannot see at all without them. We taped them together so I could get to the optomotrist who told me that my 6 year old glasses could not be repaired. Had to order a new pair for $360.00 - but they take a week so I am wearing duct taped glasses!

Necessity is the mother of invention....you do what you have to do. If you do live near a university, check to see if their optometry/opthalmology programs offer reduced cost eyeglasses (and the WalMart option is a good one to check out too!).

(5) Friday my 2.5 year old son was taken to the hospital for tests ... we have been referred to a ped. gastro specialist.

You didn't say if you have health insurance or not - do you? This kind of symptom is not uncommon in kids your son's age, so as a old pediatrics nurse my guess is this will end up being ok too.

(6) I inquired as to my husbands blood sugars and appointments and he told me that he has not been testing his sugar to save on the medical espenses and has been cutting corners with his meds. Also has cancelled the last 2 appts with his endocrinologist.

Now this is serious! Your husband is flirting with potential disaster here. There are diabetic research studies sponsored all over the US by universities and private companies that could help a great deal with your husband's diabetic costs. Tell him to ask his doctor about these - this is one way to make a huge difference in his medical costs and make sure he has good medical care as well.

Just some thoughts for you to consider. You are in that awful period right before filing....this is the worst of all bk times! Hang in there as best you can for now....I promise all of this will pass and you will feel a lot less stressed once you file. Keep sharing any time the pressure is really getting to you - we want to help any way we can - that's why we're here!

[mysterie91]

Thank you both for the kind words and advice. I really needed to hear that other people understand.

I spent a fair amount of time today preparing for a meeting while dealing with chest pains and heart palpitations. I am sure it is all the stress. I just want it over - either a Chapter 7 or a 13. Whatever will make it end!

Thanks again.

[HeatherB]

Oh my goodness! That would be enough to make anyone just want to "give up".

The stress will go away quite a bit - after you have filed and been discharged. With your husband being a diabetic, you need to make sure you budget all his meds. Those are the things that get a lot of people back in the same "hole".

Good luck to you. Most people say bankruptcy is a blessing (despite the fact that your credit is affected)

[emandmeagsmom]

I am so sorry for everything youre going through. Right before we filed we had a hellacious month. Middle of July, my 13 year old daughter decided she would sneak out of the house and take my car joyriding. Turns out she did this all summer long. Then we find out that were going to have to file bankruptcy and we were going to lose the house. My daughter and my husband got into it one night and she broke her window out. I spent all month trying to find out when her court date was because she was given a ticket for breaking curfew. We then found out the deputy tore up her ticket so we didn't have to go. All this in a month and then file bankruptcy. It felt so good when we filed and were able to tell people who called to call our attorney.

I know things look bad right now but this too shall pass. I had to keep repeating that to myself all July and August. I also had to remember that we were not given any more than we can handle and that somehow we would survive this. Praying for you to have the strength to take care of yourself. Please take some time for yourself and dont feel guilty about it. I had to take 2 or 3 days off work just for myself after my daughter left because I just cried and cried. I would be doing a haircut and just break down in tears

[cathywhite4495]

I also want to lend you my support. I agree that the time before filing is very stressful and it seems like things just keep piling up.
I have 3 boys and they have all freaked me out about stomach pain. Turned out to be gas every time.
Good luck to you and your family. Hang in there! Maybe your lawyer will be able to wrok the numbers in a way you haven't thought of and you'll be able to file a 7. Either way, once you file you will be on the road to freedom.

[JollyGG]

(2) I have re-run 6 month figures using September data and my estimates on Schedule J now seem too high and supposedly we have a few hundred in disposable income each month. Looks like 7 is not even possible and we will be filing 13.

Actually the rest of your post would have me belive that your expenses for September far far outweigh you income. You may have had a little less expenditures in September as well due to your husband not going to his dr. appointment and buying his testing supplies.

[guzzie]

sorry for your troubles....your family will be in my prayers.....things will get better....don't ever give up......guzzie

[leftyf]

Gas-X is awesome, but I don't know if little kids can take it.

[demismom]

Just before we filed, I found out I have chronic kidney disease and will someday either need a transplant or dialysis. My mother is already on dialysis, so I know it's coming, but not for quite some time. Anywho, I also found out I was going to be on a slew of medication, but couldn't get into the specialist until AFTER we filed.

I told my Attorney and she decided to estimate my medication and Drs. appts at $250 a month, I told her I didn't think it would be THAT much, but turns out she was right! So, estimate a bit higher for your medical if you have to.