The Failure of Bankruptcy's Fresh Start

[chpxiii]

I have a 48 hr rule myself. And if I still want it/need it/can afford it in cash by the following weekend, I'll go get it.

I'm (crossing fingers) about to get out of chpt 13 soon and will start rebuilding my credit. The attitude I have taken on is that if I can't pay for an item by the end of the month when the credit card payment is due IN FULL, I won't get. Still pretty much the cash system.

Of course, still keeping the 48 hr rule in effect.

[chpxiii]

While there are many cases of unavoidable income loss, I think there is also a culture of buy, buy, buy in America. Depending on where you live, you will be judged by what you drive and where you live.

I would agree with the BUY BUY BUY bit about Americans, but I don't buy the being judge by what you drive and where you live. People will *always* judge you. Even if you do drive the right car, live in the right house, wear the right clothes.... there will always be someone there to criticise you.

People need to learn to get over that. Some do, some don't. I have. I have decided that whomever decides to judge me by a standard I never gave them can be the one who is dissapointed. I'm sick of that rat race. Trust me, those who judge you aren't paying your rent, feeding you, clothing you... IMO, they can go kiss a warted toad.

During the first year of my bankruptcy I sat down and looked at my stuff. Only 3 pieces of furniture and a car were bought on credit and I had been laid off...a programmer unable to get a job in the deflated Internet bust days. That's what broke me. But I had other stuff I paid for with cash ... and I wasn't saving. And I remember clearly a day when I sat down and I gave it all up and realized I could be just happy in a wee studio apartment with a minimum wage job. All that stuff didn't do anything for me. That was my moment of transformation.

Some people get there, some don't, some refuse. But I no longer take that as an excuse for having to have stuff. I can sympathise, and understand that mentallity, but IMO, that's so high school....

I think it's awesome and VERY HOPEFUL to read the boards here and see what people are doing to stay financially healthy. There are so many of you who give me hope and I can tell there is much peace of mind as a result.

[SinkingFast]

I strangely pictured someone standing on the aisle in the store holding a jar of Nutella, turning it over and over in their hand, licking their lips and then putting the jar back. That stuff is delicious and worth fondling and lusting over. It is a rare treat in my home.

OMG!!! I hadn't thought about how we must look to other people in the store.

That is a hilarious mental visual, BKT!!!

I had a real good ROFL at myself!!!

[Granny]

I've seen Nutella, but never tasted it. What is it and what do you do with it? I feel I've missed out on something good.

[Bandit]

I strangely pictured someone standing on the aisle in the store holding a jar of Nutella, turning it over and over in their hand, licking their lips and then putting the jar back. That stuff is delicious and worth fondling and lusting over. It is a rare treat in my home.

OMG!!! I hadn't thought about how we must look to other people in the store.

That is a hilarious mental visual, BKT!!!

I had a real good ROFL at myself!!!

This was funny. I will be chuckling for awhile everytime I am at a store. We probably look to them the same way they look to us.

I can spend 25 minutes trying to decide which kind of ice cream I would like to have. Going back and forth, up and down the isle...pulling one gallon out, putting it back. The whole case will be fogged up when I finally decide. Silly stuff.

Pantene shampoo changed all their labels recently. I went to 3 different stores tryng to find the one I used to buy. At the third store there was a lady going up & down the isle trying to find hers and we were both pulling them down and looking to find the one that works best. We spoke and it was comical that she had just also been to two other stores trying to find the same shampoo that she always gets and mentioned how they had changed the labels. It was pretty funny that two strangers would meet up like that and be laughing and frustrated at the same time. It is funny but also ridiculous how things are today

She says, "Why do they need to make so many different kinds for us to choose from.(?), then change what it looks like!"... and shakes her head.

[tay666]

Further, if a person has medical bills that were discharged, but the medical *condition* was not cured due to the bankruptcy, they will continue to accrue medical bills AFTER bankruptcy, keeping them in the same or worse financial condition - especially of the medical condition persists or worsens. This could render an invidual incapable of working, DECREASING their income, which is then counter productive to what this study states: increasing income better your chances of financial recovery after bankruptcy.

That is where we are now.
About a year ago my wife was diagnosed with a bipolar disorder.
She was hospitalized 4 times since then. Only worked sporadically, and hasn't been able to work at all now for 5 months.
On top of that, our savings were already gone from when the factory I worked at for 17 years closed it's doors.
I am working now, but making less than I was 7 years ago.
We can barely pay the bills now, and that is just the basics.
House payment and utilities.
Still haven't filed BK.
One, I don't know how many more medical bills my wife is going to rack up.
Two, I am hoping she will eventually get a medication regime that will allow her to work again.
Three. We just can't afford to file right now.
No money for filing fees, let alone an attourny. Coupled with the fact that we will loose the house due to too much equity in it, and rentals in this town cost more than my mortguage.
So BK won't help us right now. It would just stop the phone calls.
So I am holding off until there is some light at the end of the financial tunnel before I use my BK to wipe things out.

[whatamess]

I agree with both ideas that one MUST raise income and MUST stop spending on dumb wants, and shop wisely for needs. No one needs a huge 4-5 bedroom McMansion with a three car garage. So you have four kids. Let them share rooms like my brothers and sisters did. We grew up better for it. Buy a gas saving sedan and not a guzzling suv, unless you live in the sticks and must drive through mud and deep snow. Cut down on junk food. Etc. Americans also spend way to much money on lawns. Mow your own grass!!! If you cant dont have any.
Raising income is sometimes a 'tuff' thing. Here I am with two young kids, a back & neck injury, and a mom who can barely make it up steps and no retirement money and a crumbling home. My husband makes below median for our family size, failed to get financial aid to go back to school, and has been trying to find a better paying job for two years. Everyone is laying off, not hiring in higher paying jobs. Or they hire and lay off a year later. At least his lower pay federal job is safe. Finding affordable health care is a whole 'nother ballgame. Who can afford these blasted HMOS? Let alone the co-pays you have to pay after you pay huge premiums.

WAM

[GoingUnderInNV]

There's a 24 Hour Rule. We must go home and mull it over first.

A very good point, SF! I've actually started doing that, too, since filing. Walking into BestBuy or REI and laying down $200 on something I really didn't need was common for me, but I've gotten into the same frame of mind as you: think about whether I really need it (and will use it enough to justify the purchase), and shove it to the back of my mind until tomorrow. For the most part I've found that with sleep came sanity. ;)

[JollyGG]

We found that just one year after bankruptcy, one in four debtors was struggling to pay routine bills, and one in three debtors reported an overall financial situation similar to, or worse than, when they filed bankruptcy.

Guess what 2/3 of us are making it. That's the majority folks.