~A MORAL question

[copperarab]

Okay.. this one has me going back and forth. If one is going through a divorce (or filing SOON) and is leaving the marital home to a new residence (apt) AND they know they will be filing BK in the future, does that person give their new address/phone number to the CC people before moving into new residency?

Please don't bash me lol...

Thanks for any answers

[Lindsay]

I wouldn't give it to the credit card people! Especially since they'll be calling until you actually file and you don't know if there will be any delays. Some of the collectors are nasty and will call neighbors I hear, so you don't want that at your new place. Besides, if you aren't giving them any money because you are definitely filing, what would the point be of talking to them.

I feel no moral obligations to my creditors. They are the ones that ruined us. We got ratejacked by Discover and Chase when we never made a payment late due to Citibank and Cap 1 not reporting our card limits on the credit reports. This really screwed up our utilization scores, I found out. We were raised on a bunch of credit cards to 30% interest when we had these cards for 8 years and were never even 1 day late on a payment. I paid these horrendous rates for years until I ran out of money. Then I took equity out on our house and paid them until that ran out. I don't have anything else to give now. If they hadn't of rate jacked me, we wouldn't have to file for bankruptcy. I'm really mad about it actually. I don't want anymore credit cards! I was naive enough to think that if I made my payments on time that things would be fine.

[copperarab]

Thanks for your reply Lindsay!

I opened a P.O. Box 2 weeks ago. The postal clerk told me NOT to file a forwarding address if I did not want my abusive husband finding me. I said.."okay", makes sense. Then he went on to say that I should contact each creditor individually and to give my new address that way.

Well I was planning on it this week, but it suddenly hit me that maybe I DONT WANT them to know where to find me...then the guilt set in... *sigh*

[cathywhite4495]

I wouldn't give them your address or number either. If you kow you are going to file, there's nothing to talk about with them. It sounds like you need time to recoup anyway.
I left my abusive husband 5 years ago and took a lot of debt with me. I finally filed chpater 7 last month and it was the smartest thing I could have done. I wish I would have done it back then. Anyway, do not feel guilty about the cc!!! Start your life over again and enjoy it!

[emoney]

I don't understand how you cannot accept some responsibilty for taking their money and not paying it back. If you did not like their rates, pay the debts off and quit complaining.

Most of us are in the same boat, we borrowered their money and they screwed us, but to say we did not play a big part is just staying in that same sinking boat.
I for one admit my mistakes and an getting on with my life. One year after BK FICO score is over 700.
regards,
emoney

[Minnymouth]

Emoney,
You get very irritated with a creditor that you have done business with for 20 years with a 2% interest rate all those years, and then they HIKE IT to 30% because you paid another creditor 1 day late......DUH...........

People have things happen in their lives where SOMETIMES the payment may be late. Even if you call and make arrangements now they will still hike that payment up to 30% interest.

Thats what makes you mad. They don't appreciate the GOOD CUSTOMERS over the years that have always paid on time, and paid their bills. They cut them no slack whatsoever comparing them to the guy who NEVER pays his bills on time.....

[Lindsay]

I don't understand how you cannot accept some responsibilty for taking their money and not paying it back. If you did not like their rates, pay the debts off and quit complaining.

Most of us are in the same boat, we borrowered their money and they screwed us, but to say we did not play a big part is just staying in that same sinking boat.
I for one admit my mistakes and an getting on with my life. One year after BK FICO score is over 700.
regards,
emoney

I admit my mistake in accepting the credit cards to begin with. I was always very dilligent with the credit cards, making sure they were never paid even one day late. I kept all the bills in a basket and tried to pay at least twice the minimum payment. Then one day about 5 years ago, Discover and Chase both raised my interest rate to 29.99%. I was puzzled as I was never late on any credit card payments, much less their cards. So why were they punishing me so severely? They said it had to do with "something" in our credit report, which I checked and there was nothing derogatory. Both of them had about $10,000 balances so my interst charges were now going to be increased by $5000 a year.

That was the beginning of the end. I always had hope to get out of this and I felt guilt and prayed that I'd be debt free eventually. But we soon started spending almost all available money to pay the minimums and interest and started the vicious cycle of charging groceries, gas, household expenses just to get by. We never took a vacation or bought anything luxurious. The stress has been unbelievable for 5 years. My husband and I barely speak and a divorce may be impending as well as bankruptcy. I'm finally starting to feel a little better after reading the boards and knowing that we will be filing soon.

Then I found out recently by looking at older copies of our credit reports that Citibank (our oldest and largest tradeline) wasn't posting our credit limit on our reports. American Express and Cap 1 were also doing this. These were large lines of credit with alot of available credit. They were reporting what we actually owed instead of our limits which severely impacted our credit scores, as it appeared that we were completely maxed out when we really had about $40,000 in available credit. That isn't fair and should be against the law. This caused other creditors to invoke huge interest rates on our accounts (because credit score fell due to the false reporting) when we actually had great utilization at the time and had never been late.

I did some research on this on the internet and I see that millions of people are being affected by this same problem. This sneaky trick has probably caused thousands of people to have to file BK. I've been paying huge interests rates for years and years over something that wasn't my fault. Some of my cards, like Citibank, haven't had a charge on them for over 5 years and I owe more now than then. And I was never late until recently with any of them.

I'm not going to get anymore credit cards. We lived on cash until we were 30 years old and as we approach 40 years old, we will go back to cash now. I'll admit I was ignorant to the sophisticated tricks that the creditors use against cardholders, but I can't understand why they would engage in practices like this knowing it is causing financial pain and bankruptcy to people.

[copperarab]

Emoney.. who are you referring to? ME? I DO care about my responsibilities! If I didnt, I wouldnt feel so darned guilty....

I will be walking away from a 2000 sq ft home and going into something less than 700 sq feet. I am only taking ONE pickup truck of stuff since I have no where to put anything else nor will I have the funds for a storage unit.. 18 years of accumulation all gone.

My soon to be ex says I get all the debt, he gets the cars and house. Unfortunately since I had the better credit, all the cc are in my name.. to the tune of $40,000. For the past year, I have been having to use them to pay basic bills and mortgage.. he doesnt care.

I just restarted school.. business degree in accounting. It will be my granddaughter and I, poor, but FREE.

I am sorry if I upset you.. but there is no way I could ever pay back what we racked up... I wish I could. Really.

[keepmine]

Take ethics and morality out of the equation when it comes to bk. This nothing but a business decisuon. Act like a good capitalist and act in a manner that benefits you to the maximum extent. You can be sure your creditors will follow that path. When your best interest and your creditors best interest diverge it becomes a business decision. Do you want to spend decades paying off debt or being harassed by collectors or, do you want a clean slate? The answer for me was pretty easy. I wasted no time worrying over ethics. I just did what I had to do and went on with my life.

[copperarab]

Take ethics and morality out of the equation when it comes to bk. This nothing but a business decisuon. Act like a good capitalist and act in a manner that benefits you to the maximum extent. You can be sure your creditors will follow that path. When your best interest and your creditors best interest diverge it becomes a business decision. Do you want to spend decades paying off debt or being harassed by collectors or, do you want a clean slate? The answer for me was pretty easy. I wasted no time worrying over ethics. I just did what I had to do and went on with my life.

Thanks keepmine, every time the guilt invades me I will try to keep your mantra in mind....

[CindyLou]

Its not a moral question, but intead a logistics question. If you are going to file anyway, whats the difference if you give your fowarding address or not? If it means keeping your sanity and feeling safe then so be it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will be giving your proper address when you file anyway. There is no room for judgement on this forum, so shame on anyone who casts a stone! If you feel more comfortable not giving your address, then don't give it. Your are taking responsibility for your actions by filing taking a legal action like bankrutpcy.

[SinkingFast]

It doesn't really matter if you tell them or not. Eventually they'll find you.

You take on phone service or Utilities in your name. Your Credit Reports get updated somehow or another. And, Poof!! Your Creditors have you current contact info.

Don't worry about updating your Creditors. If you're gonna file anyway, just enjoy your phone not ringing off the hook that much sooner.

[poorme]

The creditors won't be much of a problem after you file and get the protection of the stay. I'm sorry to hear about the abusive spouse, hopefully you have a good attorney and can work with the police authorities to keep him under control so you can get on with your better life! You shouldn't have to 'hide' from this guy, the stress from that alone could drive you crazy! Good Luck.

[copperarab]

The creditors won't be much of a problem after you file and get the protection of the stay. I'm sorry to hear about the abusive spouse, hopefully you have a good attorney and can work with the police authorities to keep him under control so you can get on with your better life! You shouldn't have to 'hide' from this guy, the stress from that alone could drive you crazy! Good Luck.

Yeah, it IS tough to have to dodge and abusive spouse. Just last month he was trying to talk and hire a 'friend' of his into doing a hit on someone else in his life he finds irritating.. I was sitting there, heard the whole thing.