Bad spending habits

[truckerswife]

I am not going to lie. Hubby and I have a bad problem with blowing money. I looked at our last bank statement and it is easy to see that our main issue is eating dinner out and Blockbuster. We are in foreclosure now. We are really worried. We want to keep our home. It is extremely important to us. We know we have been irresponsible with our spending. We make enough to pay our bills and have some left over. We just haven't been paying them. We are about to make the last payment to our attorney. My question is...when they look at our statements are they likely to say we can't file because of our spending habbits? Are they going to assume we wont make payments to trustee? I feel really ashamed admitting all of this to you and myself. We go Monday for a status report on our Country Wide loan.

[BKTango]

Honestly most lawyers and trustees do not give a hoot how you got in debt, their only concern at this point is assets, what can be given to the creditors if anything. Do not worry too much over someone seeing you went to Blockbuster a few too many times. By reading your post it appears you are filing a chapter 13, I urge you to look really hard into your families budget and stick to it. You cannot miss payments in a chapter 13. If you had the money to pay your bills and chose instead to do other things, and are now in foreclosure and starting bankruptcy, your situation will not imrpove and you will not get anywhere until you realize how to live within your means and not above them.

[jane taylor]

It is so hard to admit that you have a spending problem, but as with any "addiction" (I'm using the term loosely here), the first step is admitting the problem.

Do look hard at your budget. There's nothing wrong with eating out if you can afford it. Budget a certain amount and stick to it. If you like movies, then allow yourself a certain amount and don't go over. Or check to see if there are places in your town with cheaper rental rates. Some larger grocery stores have $1.00 rentals.

Going through a Chapter 13 and now selling my home is probably the most difficult thing I've ever faced, but it has made me a lot wiser and a whole lot more creative.

Also, take a hard look and see if you can really afford your home.

Hang in there and tell yourself that you CAN do this.

All the best,

jane

[bassface73]

(bassface, links to payday loans are not welcome here. You have been banned permanently from this forum. - lrprn, Forum Moderator)

Wow! I really hope it all works out for you, I luckily have not had that problem as of yet. I have found this site useful [link deleted by moderator], so check it out if you get a chance.

[whatamess]

Wow! I really hope it all works out for you, I luckily have not had that problem as of yet. I have found this site useful [link deleted by moderator], so check it out if you get a chance.

THATS A PAYDAY LOAN SITE!!!!!!!
BAD BAD IDEA!
You can not borrow your way out of debt bro.
WAM

[Boscoe]

Yes, stay away from ALL payday loans!!! Throwing more debt at the problem will only make it worse....

My advice to anyone - go see a bk attorney or two and get their thoughts on your situation.

I think everyone on this site should strongly discourage anyone from suggesting payday loans as a way out of financial problems!

[CindyLou]

this is a spam poster. I reported to the moderater. This was not a regular member it was a new member posting a spam!

[lrprn]

this is a spam poster. I reported to the moderater. This was not a regular member it was a new member posting a spam!

Thanks, everyone. The offending payday loan link has been removed and the bew member banned permanently.

[cathywhite4495]

Truckerswife, it takes a lot to own up to a problem and take the steps to fix it! I'm a single mom and eating out is ALWAYS a temptation for me! Not having to cook or clean up afterwards... Anyway, I'm changing my spending habits and really trying to get the most out of the fresh start BK gives. So, I cancelled cable and stopped eating fast food. However, I had to to some type of replacement or I wouldn't be able to stick to it. First, I enrolled in Netflix. It's cheap and you get a little thrill when you see the red envelope in the mail. Second, I decided that twice a month (paydays) we would go out to eat at a medium-nice restaurant. Spending $30 twice a month is much less than the multiple McD stops throughout the month. It's also something to look forward to and is more enjoyable. So... little things but maybe you can find similar little things that will help you get on track.

[JRScott]

Budgeting is the key now.

Sounds like you are headed into a Chapter 13.

I'd suggest you learn to budget quickly. It will be hard. Many of the things you are used to you won't be able to do anymore such as eating out frequently. You just won't have enough money left over.

Someone gave a good tip on movies, you can rent them cheap at many supermarkets . Might do better to just rent the movie and sit at home to watch it.

Food is a bit harder, we all like to eat out. 5 years ago I was eating out 3 to 5 times a week or more. I'd swipe the card and not give it a second thought. I've had a long drawn out process the last 2 years and have gotten to eat out less and less. Now I might eat out one to three times a month tops.

I'd sit down with a paper if you know what your chapter 13 payment will be each month. At the top of the page write that number. Then list your other bills not included in that such as rent/mortgage, utilities, car payment if not included, etc. Be sure to include a saving amount to for future emergencies and discuss what is an emergency with your husband so there are clear rules as to how the money will be spent. (Going out to eat or to the movies is not an emergency)

What remains is how much you have to spend on food and transportation costs (like gas/oil/maintenance). Convert this part to cash. Since it is cash you can only spend on food/gas what you have. When it runs out no more buying food or gas. It takes a lot of discipline and a lot of choices. You find yourself, or at least I do, thinking really hard about each food purchase, and I find myself spending the money more wisely. (For instance instead of a trip to Hardee's to get a burger combo supersized I can go for the same amount of money and buy buns, hamburger meat, head of lettuce, a tomato, and mayo at the grocery store and have approximately three to four burgers, I just have to make them at home ). This process will be an eye opener, many of us have no idea how much we spent on food before we got financially burdened.

I wish you luck and we've all been there.

[Granny]

I too would eat out way too much, and not the cheapy fast food places either....I really liked being waited on.

So now, I try to keep things pre-cooked so I can get in and out of the kitchen. There was another discussion about Once a Month Cooking (OAMC) or feeding the freezer, but the discussion and the books I have don't really touch much on breakfast. I've found having breakfast already prepared to be a great way to start the day. This has been especially helpful for getting the kids out the door on time.

On Sunday, I will make 50-60 pancakes, a pan of cinnamon rolls, sausage and eggs for breakfast tacos and I cook a couple of pounds of bacon (in the oven) to keep in the freezer. All of this heats up in about 30 seconds in the microwave and we have a hot cooked, healthy breakfast. For the cinnamon rolls, I cook them but don't put on the icing until they have been reheated in the microwave.

I try to keep a lasagna and other foods that re-heat well in the freezer for those nights when I would have previously gone out to eat. I'm not getting waited on, but I can at least sit for a few minutes while the frozen meal is in the oven.

[ARO96]

Eating at home is considerably much cheaper. We have a family at four and last time we went out to eat was 3 months ago, don't even go to the fast food restaurants. I make dinner every night for the family and it generally costs 7-10 dollars for dinner. The four of us at McD's usually is around $18. Huge difference when you stay home. Also, bring a sack lunch to work. My hubby was spending around $8 a day for lunch, with bringing food in, it's only a couple of dollars.

While cooking at home requires planning and time, it is well worth it. I've actually have become very good at cooking and now that I have some confidence, I'm always trying new recipes.

I too love eating at a nice restaurant, and hopefully after all this BK is done, maybe we can go out to one once in awhile. We havn't had the money in some time to do it. Would be nice to get waited on again.

But don't feel bad ok. It will get better.

[truckerswife]

Thanks everyone. Yes, payday loans are a large part of what started this whole mess. It is a never ending cycle. We would have to borrow from one to pay another. We have 5 not paid off. I read the paperwork one day (about 2 years ago) and it stated that you could not go to jail for not paying them. That was all it took. I called hubby at work right then and told him the cycle had to stop. We would not be able to pay rent because we were paying $75 every 2 weeks to each of those "loans". Now they are in our bankruptcy plan. We have started budgeting and have been doing fairly well. We realized our biggest expense was groceries. Hubby works about 13-16 hours most days. I work 3rds. So we need quick and easy meals. We were spending about $180 at the grocery every week, for 2 people. Now, we make a list, go through ads, and cut coupons. If it is not on the list we do not buy it. We are down to $115 on average (this includes pet products and razors and such). Big difference. Another issue we use to have was furniture/electronic weekly rental places. For 3 years we would spend anywhere from $80-$150 per week. We figured out what we had spent so far and how much a year that was. We told them to come get their stuff and haven't been back in almost a year.

[$$only4ever]

I spent $209 at the grocery store the other day. After couponing, I paid $159. When you are in a chapter 13, you constantly have to be creative. We went out to dinner the other night for the first time in probably 6 months; probably won't eat out for another 6 months.

Every penny has to be budgeted. Chapter 13 is not easy, but it wasn't easy when I was drowning in debt neither.

[jennordhavn]

We eat out too much also....

but we have been doing better lately. When I was a single Mom, I was constantly just going through the drive thru. I was working full time and going to law school (this is how I justified it). I also HATE cooking. Now I have two kids and a fiance so even fast food is almost $20 for all of us. We've been doing better lately. Yesterday on my way home from work I stopped at Walmart to buy taco seasoning, refried beans, rice, sour cream and mustard and spent only $4.75. I was so proud of myself for not just driving thru fast food just because we didn't have a few things we needed for a complete dinner. My fiance is currently a student and is home 3 nights a week so he usually cooks. The nights he has class, my older daughter is with my sister so she eats with her and I sometimes will get Jack and the Box tacos (4 for $2) or I'll make a sandwich at home. Compared to how much we used to spend on food we're doing well, but we still have a ways to go. I've also been bringing my lunch to work which helps tremendously (although I'm STARVING by the end of the day........lol). I also have cut back on Starbucks in the mornings. That $3.95 a day adds up quickly. Now I treat myself once or twice a week.

Good luck to you, I know how hard it is!