I haven't had a chance to get on here in a while, but I wanted to thank everyone that thought of me when I had posted about needing to move. I actually did find an apartment and I've been moving - all along with trying to work all the hours I could get plus going to college, so it's been very busy.
I got the place in a super nice complex and I explained all that I'm going thru to the manager who was a super cool lady. My credit score was not good enough to get in - but better than what I thought - so she talked to the head management and told them I would be a great renter and I got in. Thank God for her! I'm beginning to miss my old home - we lived there since 1989 and it's the only home my daughter knew, so we're both kind of in shock a bit. But, we'll get used to it.
Now, another thing to talk about -
I had went to court with the sbtx and our attorneys on Jan 5. I sat right there and stated that my goal was to be moved by Feb 1, which I did. Even the stbx's lawyer was trying to think of places and told me she'd let me know if she heard of a reasonable place for rent.
It's now Feb 15 and I'm getting calls from credit union where our mortgage is at and I'm being told the payment is 2 weeks late. For one thing, they have put my stbx's address as where I'm living now - I told them numerous times he has not lived with me since Aug 2005 and my phone # is not his. They say he has no phone listed and they have 3 address on file for him. In other words, he is in hiding as usual.
I cannot pay the $600 mortgage payment. He's paid it since day 1 and now thinks he's just not going to anymore. I sent him a reminder letter in January once I found this place reminding him that utilities would be coming out of my name and he'd have to transfer them in his name to keep them up. I told him our new address so in case he'd ever decide to act like he knows our daughter he'd know where to pick her up - and it was also in my letter telling him that this was just a repeat of our Jan 5th discussion in court.
The last day that I was moving, he had been in the home that morning. I went back for a last load and he had threw things on the floor, left the TV blaring, all lights on, and had put paper in the sink and burnt it. The house smelled horrible from whatever it was he had caught fire to. Very childish fool.
He had left a note the size of a 4" notepad..scribbled like a kid. Said he now wanted pics of our daughter - as to which I asked him twice if he wanted any before and he said no and that he had plenty - now all of a sudden he wants pics of her. Then whined on how his life is a mess and he is probably gonna have to file bankruptcy.
My guess from that chicken scratch is that he isn't going to move into the house, so he's not paying the mortgage anymore. He's just going to go cold turkey on it. Hence the phone calls to me due to them not finding him. He knew I was moving so he can't act like it's bothering him now.
Honestly, I think I've told this before - he had an affair, so he's now living with the consequences of that action. He still says he can't understand why I'm so upset and wanting a divorce. Not only has he had the affair, but he walked out when our daughter was just shy of 15 and hasn't picked her up for so much of a Coke since Aug 1, 2005.
I'm enjoying this new place, but my financial situation is slowly taking over that happiness too. I see my attorney tomorrow, so I'll know exactly when I can file the bankruptcy. And now, I have the credit union looking for a mortgage payment...
My question is can they just take it out of someone's account without notice? I have enough money to last me a couple of months and my hours at work are becoming lower, but it's enough to get me to pay my rent. If they take this out of my account, I won't be able to pay rent. I'm the co-signer on the mortgage....I'm wondering if he's changed banks so he has no money in his account, which I very well should be doing too.
If I do that, how does that look to a judge at the time of filing bankruptcy? Even if it's a couple months before, do they question that?
I want so much to enjoy the new start here, but my financial baggage - and the stbx's stupidity is bringing me way down. I woke up at 4 am and layed there in bed - wide awake and stomach in knots. I feel guilty for buying the least little thing. Even to rent a $3 video - I feel guilty. Like I have to save every dime I have to prepare for how this is all gonna blow up.
Sorry for the rant - but I do thank everyone for listening. I know the bankruptcy is bad enough, but this divorce is about to kill me emotionally. Not due to him out of my life - which is great - but the financial part is knocking my self esteem and confidence right out the window and believe me, there wasn't much left. I need to find a better paying job and due to all this, I can't seem to put one foot in front of the other anymore.
Any ideas? Thanks for listening.
I got the place in a super nice complex and I explained all that I'm going thru to the manager who was a super cool lady. My credit score was not good enough to get in - but better than what I thought - so she talked to the head management and told them I would be a great renter and I got in. Thank God for her! I'm beginning to miss my old home - we lived there since 1989 and it's the only home my daughter knew, so we're both kind of in shock a bit. But, we'll get used to it.
Now, another thing to talk about -
I had went to court with the sbtx and our attorneys on Jan 5. I sat right there and stated that my goal was to be moved by Feb 1, which I did. Even the stbx's lawyer was trying to think of places and told me she'd let me know if she heard of a reasonable place for rent.
It's now Feb 15 and I'm getting calls from credit union where our mortgage is at and I'm being told the payment is 2 weeks late. For one thing, they have put my stbx's address as where I'm living now - I told them numerous times he has not lived with me since Aug 2005 and my phone # is not his. They say he has no phone listed and they have 3 address on file for him. In other words, he is in hiding as usual.
I cannot pay the $600 mortgage payment. He's paid it since day 1 and now thinks he's just not going to anymore. I sent him a reminder letter in January once I found this place reminding him that utilities would be coming out of my name and he'd have to transfer them in his name to keep them up. I told him our new address so in case he'd ever decide to act like he knows our daughter he'd know where to pick her up - and it was also in my letter telling him that this was just a repeat of our Jan 5th discussion in court.
The last day that I was moving, he had been in the home that morning. I went back for a last load and he had threw things on the floor, left the TV blaring, all lights on, and had put paper in the sink and burnt it. The house smelled horrible from whatever it was he had caught fire to. Very childish fool.
He had left a note the size of a 4" notepad..scribbled like a kid. Said he now wanted pics of our daughter - as to which I asked him twice if he wanted any before and he said no and that he had plenty - now all of a sudden he wants pics of her. Then whined on how his life is a mess and he is probably gonna have to file bankruptcy.
My guess from that chicken scratch is that he isn't going to move into the house, so he's not paying the mortgage anymore. He's just going to go cold turkey on it. Hence the phone calls to me due to them not finding him. He knew I was moving so he can't act like it's bothering him now.
Honestly, I think I've told this before - he had an affair, so he's now living with the consequences of that action. He still says he can't understand why I'm so upset and wanting a divorce. Not only has he had the affair, but he walked out when our daughter was just shy of 15 and hasn't picked her up for so much of a Coke since Aug 1, 2005.
I'm enjoying this new place, but my financial situation is slowly taking over that happiness too. I see my attorney tomorrow, so I'll know exactly when I can file the bankruptcy. And now, I have the credit union looking for a mortgage payment...
My question is can they just take it out of someone's account without notice? I have enough money to last me a couple of months and my hours at work are becoming lower, but it's enough to get me to pay my rent. If they take this out of my account, I won't be able to pay rent. I'm the co-signer on the mortgage....I'm wondering if he's changed banks so he has no money in his account, which I very well should be doing too.
If I do that, how does that look to a judge at the time of filing bankruptcy? Even if it's a couple months before, do they question that?
I want so much to enjoy the new start here, but my financial baggage - and the stbx's stupidity is bringing me way down. I woke up at 4 am and layed there in bed - wide awake and stomach in knots. I feel guilty for buying the least little thing. Even to rent a $3 video - I feel guilty. Like I have to save every dime I have to prepare for how this is all gonna blow up.
Sorry for the rant - but I do thank everyone for listening. I know the bankruptcy is bad enough, but this divorce is about to kill me emotionally. Not due to him out of my life - which is great - but the financial part is knocking my self esteem and confidence right out the window and believe me, there wasn't much left. I need to find a better paying job and due to all this, I can't seem to put one foot in front of the other anymore.
Any ideas? Thanks for listening.
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