Elderly mom considering BK

[janna57]

My mother, age 82 is contemplating filing BK. She lives in Pennsylvania. This woman has always had excellent credit her whole life. Unfortunately, she let a family member use her credit card. They have been having difficulty repaying her. Although, they really tried, they were in over their head. My mother struggled to pay the debts, when they couldn't come through with the total amount owed for the monthly charge. In addition, she has let them charge more since then, with the promise that they would absolutely pay her back. The other day, "it was the last time", they promised. My mother finally said, "no". Although, she is very brokenhearted that she is unable to help. A suggestion was made that, perhaps my mother can file BK. At this stage in her life, she has stated that she really doesn't care about having good credit. Due to her age, she believes that she will not be living much longer. Her concern is that a lien will be placed on the house. Soemone suggested that she put the house in my sibling's name then file BK. Also, is considering letting the family member take a cash advance on her CC, with the intentions of possibly filing BK down the road. I told her that I believe that there is probably a time frame on these things. They may look at it, as "intentional misuse", filing shortly after using CC. Isn't the time frame like 6 months? My mother cannot afford her payments now, which are $800 a month. Her income is only a little over $1,000 monthly. Also, my family member is having health problems, and that is the reason my mother was contemplating helping her one last time. But, even if she doesn't assist her, she cannot afford the payments now. I informed my mother that I believe that she would have to wait awhile before she could file. Any advice?? I am concerned about my mother and the family member.

[BK&Filer]

The things you are talking about, transferring assets (the house) and taking advances in anticipation of bankruptcy are fraud and could be undone by a court (bk or other). I would strongly recommend that your mom talk to an attorney (free consultation) before doing anything further. Filing at this point might actually be a worse option than not, because she gives up control of her assets during the bankruptcy. As hard as it may be, I would suggest that the family member recognize that your mom simply can't afford to help any further at the moment.

[HHM]

Ditto to what BK&Filer said. Transferring the house would not be good (for various reasons, not just for BK reasons), and allowing a cash advance is also bad. Sounds like these "siblings" are more interested in taking advantage of your mother, not helping. Transferring the house into someone else's name, your mother would lose all control of the house (I can't tell you how many elder abuse, not so much physical abuse, but financial abuse, cases I have seen, that start out this way...the siblings end up taking everything of value and the elder person is left homeless). So far, based on what you have said, no one has given your mother any good advice, only advice that would help the person giving the advice.

How much is the house probably worth and does she owe on it. If the house is owned, free and clear, she could do a reverse mortgage if she needs money. If she owes on the house, then its a question of how much equity she has. It sounds like the house is the only significant asset she has.

The first step your mother needs to take is to stop everyone from using her credit cards.

[CindyLou]

what state are you in and what is the equity in the home?? Once you let us know that then you will be able to know much more valuable information.

[janna57]

Thanks for replies. Yes, this is what I thought the answer would be. My mother has been considering a reverse mortgage, also. Her house has been paid off many years ago. But, I did tell her that using her CC like that would appear to be fraudulent. And, that she would have to wait a long time before throwing in the towel before filing.

[HHM]

How much credit card debt are we talking about here?

[AMISLANDER]

Exactly...how much debt?

....if her card was used fraudulently, I'd pull the plug on the family member. Especially with her age being a factor/elder abuse....a reverse mortagage is certainly an option, but gee whiz, how much are ya talking about here?

I had a lot of debt that my bf racked up on my cc's that I "should" have turned him in on....but didn't....well...guess what, it caused me to file bk...and he ended up in the big house for awhile, anyhow, so I do feel karma bit him in the *ss......

This must be a big charge bill!!!!

[janna57]

I have no idea how much debt the total is. I am almost afraid to know. It must be huge for an $800 monthly payment. I am really sick about the situation. I believe the payment ws $500 monthly, until last month. Then she was manipulated again, and let them get a cash advance. Then they were back again, "for just the last time". But, my mother said "no". But, wanted to call her up and say to meet her at the bank. My mother feels really bad about refusing her. Honestly, I feel that it is putting a quick band-aid on the situation. My mom has to quit enabling.