Panic Has Set In

[HopefulInOhio]

Guys, I had posted before about going thru a divorce plus having to file bankruptcy. The minimum payments due are out of this world now. I haven't paid for 2 months and I'm just floored over how it's a total of over $20,000. I cannot pay any of these cards, for I'm barely getting by. I finally get child support, but my stbx no longer pays utilities here, so that's what my child support goes towards. Food stamps only buy so much, but are great to have.

I'm panicking due to the divorce doesn't go to trial until Jan 5. Then we will decide whether to hold up the divorce and file the bankruptcy before it's final or after. My attorney says lots of folks go thru this and tells me not to worry, but the letters are starting to come. I am almost flat broke after paying all I have to pay - my hours are getting cut slowly.

I have headaches daily and all I want to do is lie down and not get up. I have a 16 year old daughter and I'm scared to death she'll find out how broke I really am. I'm crying so much more now - I have a small health issue as well, plus attend college full time. I'm about nuts. My stbx has nothing to do with our daughter and I not only have to keep myself moving, but her as well. I panic so much anymore, I'm making myself sick. I have wellbutrin I take and has helped some, but knowing I have this debt hanging over my head is eating me alive.

A divorce is bad enough but being broke to go along with it - part of my being broke is paying legal fees. Luckily he lets me make 2 payments a month. If not, I'd be in it deep.

I hate to whine, but you can only get in counseling so much a month. If I called the counselor each time I panicked over all this, I'd drive them insane as well. I just needed to vent some tonight so hopefully I won't cry myself to sleep.

This is the worst feeling in the world - being so broke. And knowing I have a child to take care of makes it just so much worse.

Sorry - I know I need to put on my big girl pants but I just feel so alone today.

Thanks for listening.

[niteflytes]

Hi,

I went through the divorce stuff about 7 years. Ago. X left me with nothing to live off of. At the time I had no job, relied on his income and he expected me to support myself and our daughter on nothing. After the divorce hearing the judge ordered me out of the house within 45 days. Long story short, it seemed impossible at the time, but I survived. However, I survived a lot on credit and now, 7 years later I have more CC debt than I can handle.

I quit paying on my CC's back in July and so far all I've gotten is pesky phone calls and some letters. It's not as bad as I thought it would be to just stop paying.

I also have a teenage daughter. She just turned 17 today. She knows all about the BK and why I'm going through it. Kids can be really understanding when given the chance. And she most likely knows there's financial problems anyway so why not talk to her about it? You don't have to give all the details but you can explain to her that events beyond your control have led to the need to get help in the form of filing BK and for awhile she can expect calls from creditors until you're able to actually file.

Feel free to private message me if you want to chat.

niteflytes

[Minnymouth]

OKAY,
Go to bed early tonight, get a good night's sleep BECAUSE TOMORROW IS A BRAND NEW DAY.............in your life.....

When you awake, breath deeply and tell yourself TODAY IS THE DAY FOR CHANGES IN MY LIFE......!!!!

Go thru your bills, list the ones that absolutely have to be paid - house payments, utilities, groceries, car insurance, etc....

All old doctor bills, credit cards, loans etc...... throw in a stack for the lawyer...

Budget your incoming money and see if you can cover your monthly expenses!!!

SEE WHERE YOU STAND FINANCIALLY, WITHOUT the credit cards, etc.....

Since your already in the process of filing (still paying your attorney)...... don't worry about credit cards, etc ANYMORE..............

Make a list of the PRIORITIES IN YOUR LIFE - (example, home, auto, utilities, daughter's expenses, etc.)

If your nerves are still "shot"....... discuss your bankruptcy/divorce issue with your physician - they can help........... (I know)..... Many of us have had to get meds to help our nerves thru bankruptcy or divorce...... and it does help.

Once you decide what's important in your life - the rest falls away and becomes little issues that need to be cleaned up.... bankruptcy will solve lots of them.... and divorce will solve some also......

It's a new day, a new beginning, time to take "charge" of your life for your own sake and your daughters.

Discuss things with her, she's old enough to understand.....

Feel free to discuss issues with other forum members, they have been there and done it already, and some are probably in the same position right now that you are....

YOU ARE NOT ALONE......

But you have to take control of the situation, ride with the flow, and see the light at the end of the tunnel........

Some things you cannot change, some you can....... those you can't are not worth worrying about......

Keep us posted

Minny

[jane taylor]

Dear Hopeful:

I am so sorry that things are so rough for you right now! I also have a 17 year-old and have a 14 year-old, too. The past couple of years have been an absolute nightmare for my family and me with multiple health problems, "teenager problems," unemployment for my husband and me, along with the daily pressures of just being human.

I wish I could tell you when things would get better, but of course I can't. (If I could then all of our financial difficulties would be over !) I can tell you that you are not alone in all of this and that you can find support and sanctuary here.

Feel free to PM me anytime you need to vent. Do take care of yourself. Nourish your body and soul and try to keep a sense of humor. That, my faith and my friends have kept me semi-sane through all of this.

Peace and blessings!
jane

[InLimbo]

Hopeful, So sorry for all you are going throught right now. We have all been through all or some of the same things here on this board. My personal advice would be to please tell your daughter about your bk. She is old enough and will understand alot more than you think. She will probably be happy that you confided in her. My oldest daughter is 19 and our youngest is 17. We have told both of them everything going on and they were actually happy that we are doing something about our finances so that the upcoming years will be less stressful and much better for our family.
Prayer has been a huge part in helping me through our bk and my very understanding parents. If there's anyone you can talk to in your family, do so soon, You will feel so much better by sharing your troubles with someone close. I will keep you and your daughter in my prayers.

[SinkingFast]

Hopeful,..........

Kids, especially older teens, are amazingly resilient. You might be surprised at the amount of support you'll receive from your daughter.

You've got to tell someone close to you so you'll have a sounding board. Maybe that person will be your daughter. Maybe you have a close friend or relative who would listen.

And, of course, as always, we are here for you as well. Vent any time you want or need to.