How long before the calls come?

[ApresMoi]

In thinking more about your issue..I am not sure there is any foolproof method for preventing creditors from calling your relatives, athough I was told they don't do that as a general rule, and probably would not during the first few months of default ever, unless they did not know how else to get in touch with you. That's why I mentioned maybe speaking to creditors "on occasion".

As the months pass without payment, and as your debt gets passed on to more and more unscrupulous debt collectors, that's when the risk of contact with a relative increases But that's many many months away. And you may have filed for BK before it reaches that stage.

Even if you took out a post office box, creditors/collectors can easily find out who your relatives are through online 'people search' services. The 'preview' information that comes up on such search sites (they only need your name, city, and approximate age) often lists names of associated family members, etc., so it's very easy to see who you have lived with, or are living with, or even related to just by looking at free information on Intelius (the last I checked) and similar sites.

You can, however, make it more difficult for them by removing your listings from these search sites altogether (both you and your companion's listings would need to be removed). It's not that easy to do on a company by company basis, since there are dozens (probably hundreds) of such firms who make a nice profit from selling your personal information.

That said, I had some success by paying ZabaSearch $20 or so to block my info., and their block covered a lot of other affiliated people search sites. Zaba has probably cut some deals with the other companies. It was worth every cent. In my case, I paid them to do that because a) it was impossible to do myself; and b) I did not want prospective employers to age discriminate during a job search.

I've searched for my own name and was not on the major people finder sites, so the block seems to have worked. I think it is good for three years. I marked my calendar for the expire date so I would know when to renew.

[ApresMoi]

Sorry, clogging the forum, but one more thing. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is that you do not give these callers any more information than absolutely necessary. If they start asking questions (and they will) just say you are not at liberty to discuss your finances with them, that you are not in a position to pay them, and that you will keep them apprised of any change in status.

I got roped in by one guy who acted 'friendly', and I realized later, that his 'friendliness' was VERY calculated and that he got information that will absolutely be looked at by their attorneys as possible proof that I made charges when I knew I could not repay. He also got me to divulge my age, and a few other tidbits, all during this 'friendly banter'. Another one asked me where I used to work! That was early on, and thankfully I had the wherewithall to say "I'd rather not get into that".

Just say as little as possible. You are not obligated to tell them anything, but there are ways to let them know you are reachable without giving away information that can be used against you.

Because of what I said (about long term unemployment and the dawning awareness that I wasn't going to be able to find another similar high paying job) I now have to worry about being challenged for continuiing to use the cards when (they will say...I disagree) I knew I could not pay. They already had my name and address, right? So getting the age was helpful, because that gives them all they need to 'narrow' the search to find out plenty more about me.

I don't have any assets, but that's not the point. The point is, they are recording everything you say, and they are looking for leads/info that may give them the idea they can challenge your bK and win. Your goal should be to give them nothing every single time you talk to them.