Convincing family that chapter 7 isn't a death sentence

[keepsmiling]

Personally I think talking about bk can be a good thing. With a little time and education they may come around... it's been known to happen.
Keeping it mysterious and quiet keeps it scary. Which is what the banks want.
Screw that.

[pamkev]

Keep smiling you made me laugh with your post.

[basketsbears]

Personally I think talking about bk can be a good thing. With a little time and education they may come around... it's been known to happen.
Keeping it mysterious and quiet keeps it scary. Which is what the banks want.
Screw that.

LOL - I agree with Pamkev!

Maybe the administrators could add a "like" button.

[Sammie]

Personally I think talking about bk can be a good thing. With a little time and education they may come around... it's been known to happen.
Keeping it mysterious and quiet keeps it scary. Which is what the banks want.
Screw that.

You crack me up! sammie

[Pandora]

I could care less who knows we filed... hell our neighbors know we filed Ch. 13! Why? Because they're the ones who recommended our lawyer and to top it off...he's our Deacon LOL. Did they file? No... but they knew when hubby lost his job a few years back that we needed to do something, so Ch. 13 it was.

Bottom line - who cares if you file? It amazes me the number of people who are lead to feel "ashamed and disgraced" due to filing BK, when every single day people in "corporate America" file to keep their business going. They call it a "sound financial decision"... so...you should as well - so long as you learn the lesson and dont repeat running up debt after you get your clean slate.

To all others that are still degrading you for filing - tell them you're gladly taking donations to pay your bills and they're welcome to pay them for you so they dont look "down" upon you any longer.... if not, then shut their damn traps!

[tradinglife]

Heck where we live you could not keep filing a secret if you wanted to. They list all bankruptcy names and full adreesses in the Sunday newspaper! Some weeks it's hidden on the corner of the back page of business section soome weeks right up front! Of course the week we filed, it was in a prominent section on the second page and our name was first on the list, lol. Several years later I could care less, but at the time I remember being embarrased as hell.

[keepsmiling]

I could care less who knows we filed... hell our neighbors know we filed Ch. 13! Why? Because they're the ones who recommended our lawyer and to top it off...he's our Deacon LOL. Did they file? No... but they knew when hubby lost his job a few years back that we needed to do something, so Ch. 13 it was.

Bottom line - who cares if you file? It amazes me the number of people who are lead to feel "ashamed and disgraced" due to filing BK, when every single day people in "corporate America" file to keep their business going. They call it a "sound financial decision"... so...you should as well - so long as you learn the lesson and dont repeat running up debt after you get your clean slate.

To all others that are still degrading you for filing - tell them you're gladly taking donations to pay your bills and they're welcome to pay them for you so they dont look "down" upon you any longer.... if not, then shut their damn traps!

that's what I'm saying...... demystify, de-scarify the thing and watch how many more file that more quickly.

[Diesel73L]

My in-laws are convinced that I'm essentially committing financial suicide, a disgrace to the family, etc etc. They're both about 70 and I can't help but feeling it's a generational divide since it certainly seems like bk was worse before than it is today. Doesn't help that my father-in-law was a bank VP in the 80s!

Can I ask why you said anything in the first place? My parents have no idea that my wife and I have filed-in fact they know nothing about our finances at all, nor does anyone else besides us and we like it that way. We share pretty much every other aspect of our lives, but not our finances-I don't really know anything about theirs either.

Any advice on dealing with family entrenched in that sort of mindset? Better yet, for convincing them the path is correct?...Nothing seems to bring them around and all discussion gets heated.

My advice? Don't say another word about it! If they ask, just say, "thanks, we're taking care of it," because after all, you are. Filing for BK is actually quite empowering because YOU are getting YOURSELF out of the mess that YOU got YOURSELF into. It's not worth the time or trouble to explain it to anyone else.

[joshuagraham]

After the financiers on Wall Street got bailed out and bonuses to boot, I would just say that I have figured out that to get ahead in this world one must be cynical and use every tool to gain an advantage - BK is simply one of those tools.

[Logan]

BK is not a death sentence. BK actually will set you free!!!!

[ksgirl38]

Another option is simply to keep your financials a personal matter. That is actually what many people do. Some topics are simply not open for extended family discussions or debate.

This is the advice I'd give as well. I told no one and unless someone looks it up I can't see how they'd find out. It's really no one else's business so maybe you can just drop the subject and not discuss it with them. If they bring it up, change the subject. Might need to be prepared with some other topics for conversation.