Officially 30 days late on mortgage today, jail and car ? :(

[pamkev]

As other have said start taking care of you and as soon as you can start setting aside some money in your name only. Please know you can come here and vent anytime.

Pam

[stray]

Yes, bears vent anytime. You sound like a wonderful and brave person. Good luck to you.

[basketsbears]

Thanks everyone for the great caring & support.

Update: Husband has "seen the light" as far as his son goes.

We rescinded the Jeep reaffirmation. Our attorney filed it with Court today. I called Ally to see if we were current if they would come and get it or if we could continue to pay and they said if we were current they would not come get it. I found that interesting because before we signed the reaffirmation they would not say whether they would or wouldn't repo if we were current without signing it. Just wanted people with Ally to know what they said to me. Hopefully they were being honest.

We made a plan together tonight on getting caught up. Had very long talk - so hopefully things are looking up for us.

He is pretty much done with son, which whole situation is sad. Hopefully, sometime Sson will be rid of his demons.

Thanks again!

[Drazil65]

That is good news Lynn. A mutual plan is good and a side/personal plan is even better. You may want to think about going ahead with your plan to have a side account and start putting money away/to the side for your own benefit. Its hard when it comes to people and their kids, if they have a history of enabling the chances are this is not the end of it. We can hope and pray for your sake its the end and he has truely seen the light and if that is the end of that story great. But the reality is that you have been dealing with this situation for a very long time and there is a grandchild involved (that is the sson's ace, the thing that is hard to resist for all of you) so it will not be long before soemthing will come up where sson will need money or a place to live or jail bond (sad but true). Unless he is in rehab or has completely changed his lifestyle in the last few days this is the hard reality that nothing has changed.

Do yourself a favor and make a side plan as I have seen it too many times to even say in my own family. I do not mean to get in your personal business and truely hope the best for you but I also know how hard you are working to have a fresh start in life and a better job so protect that goal. If your husband cannot put you and your marriage goals (better life and fresh start) first then the writing is on the wall and you will be the one that stands to lose the most right now and possible in the future. Be smart and protect yourself, no one will fault you for that.

[basketsbears]

That is good news Lynn. A mutual plan is good and a side/personal plan is even better. You may want to think about going ahead with your plan to have a side account and start putting money away/to the side for your own benefit. Its hard when it comes to people and their kids, if they have a history of enabling the chances are this is not the end of it. We can hope and pray for your sake its the end and he has truely seen the light and if that is the end of that story great. But the reality is that you have been dealing with this situation for a very long time and there is a grandchild involved (that is the sson's ace, the thing that is hard to resist for all of you) so it will not be long before soemthing will come up where sson will need money or a place to live or jail bond (sad but true). Unless he is in rehab or has completely changed his lifestyle in the last few days this is the hard reality that nothing has changed.

Do yourself a favor and make a side plan as I have seen it too many times to even say in my own family. I do not mean to get in your personal business and truely hope the best for you but I also know how hard you are working to have a fresh start in life and a better job so protect that goal. If your husband cannot put you and your marriage goals (better life and fresh start) first then the writing is on the wall and you will be the one that stands to lose the most right now and possible in the future. Be smart and protect yourself, no one will fault you for that.

Thank you. Yes, I am planning on protecting myself. Right now, main focus is finals next week and getting caught up on bills. When I have my extra hours the end of the month I hope to start putting some $ aside, along with student loan refund.

I do not have any illusions about my Sson. Luckily we have always dealt with our grandson's mom, not Sson as far as having him, etc. I am still not having Sson in my life.

Thanks for your advice. All the kindness and support here certainly has helped me through this ordeal.

Lynn