1st post and my story.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Most everyone here is where you are or has been where you are, don't sweat your story. We have all made mistakes based mostly on self justification that things will turn around and we can get out on our own. Admitting it and being honest withself yourself is by far one of the scariest things and one of the most freeing things you will do during this journey. Get it in your head right now that this whole process is a business decision for your family, no different than the big businesses when they deicde that they cannot exist in their present financial situation. Your family is your main concern and doing what is best for them as a whole. Start taking back control by 1) telling wife 2) start reading everything on this forum that you can 3) do a search on "google voice" and then set it up for your creditor calls (its awesome and will save your sanity) and its free 4) go to at least 3 or 4 free consults with attorney's and "interview" them very carefully, having a good attorney that you are comfortable with is vital 5) stop paying any and all credit cards that will be discharged in the chapter 7 filing and start saving that money to pay your attorney and for living expenses (rent, food, cars, utilities etc). This will give you a sense of taking control and getting your ducks in a row, you will feel much better and be well on your way to changing your life. Good Luck with everything and keep us updated!

Good post. Good advice. 'Hub

[keepsmiling]

Not sure I get the FU part. Did the atty def say that to you about brains? If he's already talking down to you , that is a very bad sign indeed and you need to move on to the next. Fortunately there are tons more and the right one for you is out there, not to worry.

[hamburgervol]

Personally, for me, BK was the best thing that happened to me and my family. I told my wife by bringing up the fact that the CC debt was never going to go away at the rate we were going. We were on ever hardship program with the CC companies. I then told her that I found a way to make all our financial problems disappear. I told her that a planned bankruptcy would be our best option. She was a little upset at first but warmed up to the idea after we met with an attorney.

[IamOld]

blackgoose welcome my friend - I know it's easier to say than do, but stop blaming yourself - what is done is done.

Re wife - I'm in/was in a similar situation - I could never bring myself to tell spouse how much we were screwed financially, and hole got deeper and deeper, and the camel's back was broken when I was laid off last year...believe me it wasn't easy...BUT you're carrying this by yourself, which also isn't fair - you did do this for everyone, not just for yourself. She - wife - will be upset, angry, she'll say you didn't trust her enough etc...that will likely happen...BUT -here is the thing....you can't keep hiding this - that is what's making things a 1000% worse!!!!

So...on the business side - with your income after large income drops off your six month lookback, you'll likely qualify for an "easy" Chapter 7 - you may want to thnk about whether it's worth keeping the house since your renting anyway!!!!!

[justbroke]

Not sure I get the FU part. Did the atty def say that to you about brains? If he's already talking down to you , that is a very bad sign indeed and you need to move on to the next. Fortunately there are tons more and the right one for you is out there, not to worry.

For everyone wondering about the "FU" comment earlier. The poster was talking about the attorney and, particularly, how condescending the attorney was. I don't think that the poster actually said that to the attorney and was just venting.

[AngelinaCatHub]

For everyone wondering about the "FU" comment earlier. The poster was talking about the attorney and, particularly, how condescending the attorney was. I don't think that the poster actually said that to the attorney and was just venting.

Hey, JB. I believe you are correct. The man is between his rock and his wife. What is worse? He is in dire distress. Many of us have been there or worse. Check out IAO post as he lived this too. We did not but NEVER thought we would bk for years when ours could have take three months of we had an attorney who would have taught us some things. OR this forum. We are poster "Childs" for what to do wrong. We did it. We were blessed with ignorance and that was the only thing that saved us.

The OP (whom I wished would chime in) is in hurt. He must "belly up" and get this admission to his wife over. Half his stress would end that moment. The other half when he files. 'Hub

[justbroke]

He did 'Hub! The thread is here!

http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.php?73608-Told-my-wife

[lillymarlene]

Blackgoose, welcome. There is a lot of great advice here. I hate to repeat everyone else, but you must tell your wife. Think about how awful you'd feel, if it was the other way around, and she was hiding something like that from you.

My boyfriend and I have been living together for over 20 years, and at first I didn't want to tell him either. But then things happened, like constant phone calls, lawsuits being taped to my door, etc. I'm sure he pretty much knew what was going on...so I filled him in on all the details. Then, he has been so much help to me, and it seems that this has brought us closer together.

[IHateChase]

Blackgoose, welcome. There is a lot of great advice here. I hate to repeat everyone else, but you must tell your wife. Think about how awful you'd feel, if it was the other way around, and she was hiding something like that from you.

My boyfriend and I have been living together for over 20 years, and at first I didn't want to tell him either. But then things happened, like constant phone calls, lawsuits being taped to my door, etc. I'm sure he pretty much knew what was going on...so I filled him in on all the details. Then, he has been so much help to me, and it seems that this has brought us closer together.

He told her. See JB's post above to follow updates.

[AngelinaCat]

Hi All. The OP has told his wife. That makes this thread a bit obsolete, so I am closing it. If you wish to follow the updates, see this thread:

http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.php?73608-Told-my-wife