1st post and my story.

[Blackgoose]

27 years old and I am a joke. Got my first credit card at a game when I was 18. I wanted that free t-shirt. By the time i was 23 had a credit line of 60k. I work in sales and the big commission was always right around the corner. It didnt come i've now taken a job that pays 1/8th what I used to make. I have $91k in cc debt alone right now!

I am so screwed. My wife does not know.

I'm 27 and am having shortness of breath and chest pains. How on earth did I pull the cover over my own eyes for so long! Hoping for some education from the forum. I have not slept in 4 days and need it.

Here is to hoping I cam make it through.

[keepmine]

First thing you dois, tell your wife. The 2nd thing is, stop using cc's if bk is a viable option. Stop paying all debt you wish to discharge and, use that money for HH expenses.
What is yours and your wifes income? What is the size of your family? Do you have any equity in home or car?

[AngelinaCatHub]

First thing you dois, tell your wife. The 2nd thing is, stop using cc's if bk is a viable option. Stop paying all debt you wish to discharge and, use that money for HH expenses.
What is yours and your wifes income? What is the size of your family? Do you have any equity in home or car?

Yes, we need more info to evaluate your situation. Now understand, and this has been said many times, you are not the only one who for circumstances beyond your control or even mistakes that you could have not made, are forced into a BK. It is a business decision and should be looked at it that way. In what you have described, it may also be a medical decision.

If you keep up the stress you are currently in, your widow will be left with your bills. My opinion only; you might wish to see your doctor and ask for an anti-depressant. STAY AWAY FROM PAXIL. See Paxil withdrawal syndrome. I had this and it isn't pretty. Ampatryptoline or what is called Elivile worked well for me, and a side effect is it will make you sleep in about fifteen minutes after taking the pill. It takes two weeks to start working and will break up depression, clinical or mental. After you are repaired, taper off the stuff and the lasting affect is beneficial.

Next, read all the "stickies" about C7 as well as the C7 book on Nolo Press is excellent and is pdf downloadable from nolopress.com. It give the best steps and reasons for BK.

It averages about $1500 to a BK lawyer for a 7. Many will allow payments. After filing, no one will be calling or bothering you. About one month and a 341 hearing (takes about ten minutes) and you wait 60 days and your debts will be discharged. You then are starting your "New Start" and new life.

Do not dismay over past jobs. To have a job at all, you are most fortunate. Stock pile what you save in CC payments into storable foods, needed clothing, and other necessities that are exempt from BK. Pay only things you wish to keep such as car and/or house. Do NOT take a loan from parents or friends.

Your first post is your first step to healing. 'Hub

[Blackgoose]

Everything is in my name. If I tell my wife I honestly believe she will leave me. This has been a lie I've had to keel up our entire marriage. We have 3 kids. Income right now is 35k a year. No health insurance

My wife does not work. We have 2 cars. Both in my name. One is a lease another is a 7 year old car. Where do they decide value? Blue book?

We have a mortgage and a home equity line. Depends on evaluation but but maybe 15-25k in equity. We are renting it out currently. Were renting another home.

I'm working on the stress. It just consumes me. Ive been able to justify this for so long. It's not that bad. Ummm... Holy SH%$ it is not bad it's horrific.

We have joint checking accounts but no joint credit cards. Should I take her off the checking accounts?

Thank you everybody.

[keepmine]

Well, you better try and find a job with health insurance benfits. You don't want to fle bk and 6 months later someone gets sick and you have a large medical bill you can't pay and you already played the Chapter7 card.

Here are Ut. exemptions.

http://www.thebankruptcysite.org/exemptions/utah.html

Looks like you'll need to use the home you own as a primary residence to claim the full homestead exemption.
Most bk lawyers give a free or lowcost initial consultation. Speak with a few and see what they suggest.

[JessMN]

Everything is in my name. If I tell my wife I honestly believe she will leave me. This has been a lie I've had to keel up our entire marriage. We have 3 kids. Income right now is 35k a year. No health insurance

Well you can come clean and tell her and take your chances or she can find out some other way and then definitely leave you. If she loves you she will be there fore you and if not...

[Blackgoose]

So it says in Utah if it's not my primary residence it's only protected up to $5k. We just rented it out. Does that mean it's not going to be protected?

I want to tell her trust me. I've carried this the whole time. It has affected every aspect of my life in a negative way.

[nohoneymoney]

It may sound quaint but the truth will set you free. Free of the anxiety and other health issues. Free to clear your mind and think clearly so you can find the right solutions for you. Free to seek additional guidance from professionals and not just from this website, as good as it is. Everyone makes mistakes (your are in excellent company), its how you handle them that makes the difference. Based on the information you have presented, this is not the end of the world and you are not a failure but you do need to take action.

[IHateChase]

Firstly, a warm welcome to a friendly place. You have taken the first positive step. Congratulations! Baby steps, one foot after the other, and you are on your way to a fresh start. The good news is that you are so young and have a bright future ahead of you. So no more beating yourself up. You have to give the idiot banks their fair share of the blame for handing a kid that kind of $$$!!!! Am I wrong?? Obviously they didn't think this out to consequences any more than you, and they have professionals on the job for that :P

Willling to bet there is some program in Utah to get your kids insured for free or cheap. Get yourself online NOW and look into this, or start making calls to your elected officials.
With your salary you are almost surely under the median, which should make your filing somewhat easier. For yourself, there is probably some kind of state health center that will see you on a sliding scale.

Agree with the others, you MUST share with the wife. Surely she must have some idea already that something is majorly wrong. If not, you won't be able to hide it forever no how, no way. Between the phone ringing, them calling her family, bills coming, and your potential heart attack...

Break it to her gently-- perhaps by showing her some articles about how many families are filing lately, banks being sued, etc. Sooner or later all marriages arrive at difficult times. Hopefully it will make yours stronger.

[sunshinepa]

First, welcome to this forum. It's a great place for information and support.

I agree with some of the other posters, you must tell your wife. I honestly don't believe she doesn't have some idea anyway unless she buries her head in the sand and doesn't know anything about the family finances. She may be angry that you have been living this lie your whole marriage but if she loves you, she will stand by you. Just getting that burden off your chest may help with your symptoms. Your health and loved ones should be your priority, see to them first.

Stop paying the credit card bills, talk to your wife and see a doctor. Once those steps are taken, schedule some free consults with attorneys and go from there as it seems BK is surely your only way to go.

Another suggestion is read, read and read some more on this forum. Ask questions, there is a wealth of knowledge here with some fantastic folks to help you through this. Keep posting and know that you are not alone, everyone is here for the same reason. I wish you luck and please tell your wife and see a doctor for your symptoms.

[Blackgoose]

Thank you guys. This is the first time I've ever talked or shared this with anyone. I'm in the process of starting a new job. (start Nov 1st) that will provide insurance.

I'm planning on sitting down with the wife tonight. Wish me luck.

Also, hoping to clarify. Utah it says only $5k for non primary residence. We just moved a month ago into a rental home. We rented out our home. Does that mean we only get to use the $5k homestead?

[oregonpilot]

Thank you guys. This is the first time I've ever talked or shared this with anyone. I'm in the process of starting a new job. (start Nov 1st) that will provide insurance.

I'm planning on sitting down with the wife tonight. Wish me luck.

Also, hoping to clarify. Utah it says only $5k for non primary residence. We just moved a month ago into a rental home. We rented out our home. Does that mean we only get to use the $5k homestead?

Hi there and a big welcome. WOW that is a very tough thing to be carrying on yourself.
I went along for quite a few yrs...as many others have...in total self denial.

My daughter went thru the same thing....she managed all the money that came in...stretching it as far as she could...using cc's to pay for groceries and essential stuff. Did not tell my son in law how bad things were and she always seemed like the bad guy saying they couldn't afford to get something...was probably tough on their relationship. She finally talked to him and he was totally blown away.

This was 3 yrs ago. i found out about it when i got mail listing me in their bk. I had taken out a cc advance for 8k to help them out the yr b4. It has all worked out for them and they are doin LOTS better.
this is a great place for support and shoulders for cryin. I can sure understand your feelings about never talking to anyone about this....i remember google searching "bankruptcy" and felt guilty even looking up the word. hehehe
Good luck to you and we are all here for you.

ALSO....i did the same thing in keeping things to myself. Finally fessed up to BF (my nearly new hubby now) after having a dental emergency to the tune of $5500. that i had absolutely no way to pay. Im 60, self employed in construction (wallpaperhanger) with no medical insurance and was also using cc's to keep myself afloat with the tough times.

[Blackgoose]

Just talked to my first attorney. We didn't use brains going into this did we? Let's use my brains to get you out. F U ass!

[Drazil65]

Most everyone here is where you are or has been where you are, don't sweat your story. We have all made mistakes based mostly on self justification that things will turn around and we can get out on our own. Admitting it and being honest withself yourself is by far one of the scariest things and one of the most freeing things you will do during this journey.

Get it in your head right now that this whole process is a business decision for your family, no different than the big businesses when they decide that they cannot exist in their present financial situation. Your family is your main concern and doing what is best for them as a whole.

Start taking back control by
1) telling wife
2) start reading everything on this forum that you can
3) do a search on "google voice" and then set it up for your creditor calls (its awesome and will save your sanity) and its free
4) go to at least 3 or 4 free consults with attorney's and "interview" them very carefully, having a good attorney that you are comfortable with is vital
5) stop paying any and all credit cards that will be discharged in the chapter 7 filing and start saving that money to pay your attorney and for living expenses (rent, food, cars, utilities etc).

This will give you a sense of taking control and getting your ducks in a row, you will feel much better and be well on your way to changing your life. Good Luck with everything and keep us updated!

[AngelinaCatHub]

Well you can come clean and tell her and take your chances or she can find out some other way and then definitely leave you. If she loves you she will be there fore you and if not...

There are worse things than hiding an affair from a spouse. The fact of coming clean before "finding out about an affair" is "years of cheating by deception. My friend, our OP needs to learn that, if his wife loves him, after the shock, she still will love him. This is not an affair, but a mistake. Hiding it was and is worse than the mistake. It is another mistake fare above the original. Confess to the situation and hang your head momentarily. In the morning raise your head in relief and pride. You just may be surprised how much more life you will enjoy.

So it says in Utah if it's not my primary residence it's only protected up to $5k. We just rented it out. Does that mean it's not going to be protected?

I want to tell her trust me. I've carried this the whole time. It has affected every aspect of my life in a negative way.

See above. If you wish her to trust you, admit all and swear no other secret will ever cause you or her concern as, in any marriage, a secret in itself is not wise.

Firstly, a warm welcome to a friendly place. You have taken the first positive step. Congratulations! Baby steps, one foot after the other, and you are on your way to a fresh start. The good news is that you are so young and have a bright future ahead of you. So no more beating yourself up. You have to give the idiot banks their fair share of the blame for handing a kid that kind of $$$!!!! Am I wrong?? Obviously they didn't think this out to consequences any more than you, and they have professionals on the job for that :P

Willling to bet there is some program in Utah to get your kids insured for free or cheap. Get yourself online NOW and look into this, or start making calls to your elected officials.
With your salary you are almost surely under the median, which should make your filing somewhat easier. For yourself, there is probably some kind of state health center that will see you on a sliding scale.

Agree with the others, you MUST share with the wife. Surely she must have some idea already that something is majorly wrong. If not, you won't be able to hide it forever no how, no way. Between the phone ringing, them calling her family, bills coming, and your potential heart attack...

Break it to her gently-- perhaps by showing her some articles about how many families are filing lately, banks being sued, etc. Sooner or later all marriages arrive at difficult times. Hopefully it will make yours stronger.

This quote says it all. If you do NOT think your wife already knows or at least sees your change, you are mistaken. She does. If you wish a quick and immediate stress reduction, have this talk with her. She may be hurt, angry, or surprised, but when the smoke clears, she will love you. Three children prove this.

Thank you guys. This is the first time I've ever talked or shared this with anyone. I'm in the process of starting a new job. (start Nov 1st) that will provide insurance.

I'm planning on sitting down with the wife tonight. Wish me luck.

Also, hoping to clarify. Utah it says only $5k for non primary residence. We just moved a month ago into a rental home. We rented out our home. Does that mean we only get to use the $5k homestead?

Not sure why you left your house for a rental. A bit of profit perhaps. Do you think your wife has not guessed???? Do you have a lease or can you get this back soon? would be good if so. Otherwise, just get the profit you can and your house if equity is gone.

Just talked to my first attorney. We didn't use brains going into this did we? Let's use my brains to get you out. F U ass!

Not quite sure of this quote. I hope it isn't what it sounds like. 'Hub

EDIT: OK, I get it.