Finally Did It

[sunshinepa]

I paid my fees and signed my paperwork. Now I am back at work trying not to cry and trying to figure out why my body is numb. Will anything ever be normal again???

First, congrats on getting filed. And yes, things will go back to normal. I am actually living much better now without cards, have no stress wondering how I can pay the bills and can actually go out once in awhile.

You say you will miss your accounts but think about that......isn't that some of the reason you needed to file BK? Learn to live without credit (perhaps maybe a better car at some point) and life will return to normal, you'll be able to save and overall, be in much better shape.

Most likely everyone here had some second thoughts but I have yet to see a post where anyone stated they had regrets about filing.

Good luck and let us know how you feel when it's over, bet it's big relief!!!!

[Rozi]

First, congrats on getting filed. And yes, things will go back to normal. I am actually living much better now without cards, have no stress wondering how I can pay the bills and can actually go out once in awhile.

You say you will miss your accounts but think about that......isn't that some of the reason you needed to file BK? Learn to live without credit (perhaps maybe a better car at some point) and life will return to normal, you'll be able to save and overall, be in much better shape.

Most likely everyone here had some second thoughts but I have yet to see a post where anyone stated they had regrets about filing.

Good luck and let us know how you feel when it's over, bet it's big relief!!!!

Thank you to everyone for all of their replies. I am going to go ahead and file. The only reason why I am filing is because of my bad auto loan. I will never do that again. All of my other bills were low and I could afford them. That is why I was so torn. Plus my dad is on my back stating that I am a two time loser since this is my second bankruptcy and I should be ashamed of myself because I have a good job and can pay my bills. He’s old school and thinks that everyone should pay their bills. I tried but I can’t do it anymore. The stress of having to deal with my 600.00 car note will kill me. Also it didn’t help that I pulled my credit report yesterday and my old bankruptcy has fallen off my credit report but my credit score is 367. I am just depressed all around. I really wanted to feel what it would be like to have no bankruptcy on my credit report but, I guess I have to wait 10 more years…..

[LadyInTheRed]

Rozi, have you already filed? I'm assuming not because you say you can still back out, but it's a little unclear.

[Rozi]

Rozi, have you already filed? I'm assuming not because you say you can still back out, but it's a little unclear.

Well I signed the paperwork and paid my filing fee on Friday in the office. I called them over the weekend and this morning and they said they have not filed yet and I can still back out. I keep going back and forth with them so I am sure they hate me now....

[LadyInTheRed]

Okay, I didn't want to say this if you already filed. If your car loan is the only issue, why don't you just let the lender repossess the car? I'm concerned about your attachment to your credit cards and the fact that you bought a car with a $600 a month payment that you can't afford. You can get a car that is not a beater at a lower payment than that. Give up the car and work to get your credit cards paid off. Than stop using your cards, at least for a while. If you can't pay off all of your credit cards and a possible car loan deficiency in a reasonable amount of time, then BK is a good option. That is the call you need to make. But, be certain it is the right decision for you. If you aren't certain at this moment, call your attorney and ask him to hold off on filing until you call back.

[Rozi]

Okay, I didn't want to say this if you already filed. If your car loan is the only issue, why don't you just let the lender repossess the car? I'm concerned about your attachment to your credit cards and the fact that you bought a car with a $600 a month payment that you can't afford. You can get a car that is not a beater at a lower payment than that. Give up the car and work to get your credit cards paid off. Than stop using your cards, at least for a while. If you can't pay off all of your credit cards and a possible car loan deficiency in a reasonable amount of time, then BK is a good option. That is the call you need to make. But, be certain it is the right decision for you. If you aren't certain at this moment, call your attorney and ask him to hold off on filing until you call back.

Thanks Lady in Red! My credit cards are at a low amount and I want to pay them off. I think I am going to call the finance company and have them repo the car. I know a repo is just as bad as a bankruptcy but that is the only problem I have is with the car. I had no problem paying the car note when I first brought the car because I was living at home with mom and dad. Now I am living on my own paying rent and it's getting rough. I am still waiting for the attorney to call me back and see what I can do. They told me when I was filing that I should just go ahead and file bankruptcy on everything and start over. I am just so lost and confused. I am sorry for being annoying as well. I love these message boards though because I feel that alot of people can relate to my position.

[LadyInTheRed]

Rozi, your attorney has a better picture of your situation than I do. If the deficiency on your car will be high, BK may be a better option. Did you get the opinion of any other attorneys? I just want you to be sure before you file. I have no regrets about filing. But, I was certain it was the right thing for me on the day I filed.

Your credit is shot already. So, don't let that play into your decision. First, take care of your current debt issues. Next, learn to live within your means, which means without using credit cards. After you are comfortable living without credit, then think about how to improve your credit rating.

Also, don't let shame influence your decision. Stop discussing this with your father if he can't be more constructive. You've made mistakes. But, you need to move forward now to do what is best for you. Acknowledge the past and learn from it. Then, put it behind you where it belongs.

[LadyInTheRed]

Rozi, I just read quickly through your other threads. You have been struggling with this decision and received good input on this board both in favor and against filing. After having doubts at your attorneys office the first time you were supposed to sign your petition, you said "Halfway through the day it hits me that I need to get this over with and sign the papers and start my life over." What has changed since then besides my post this morning? There is a point where you need to make a decision and act on it. I might not have posted what i did this morning if I had read your previous posts first. Please don't let me knock you off a path you had decided was the right one unless there is good reason to change course.

[Rozi]

I just want to make sure I am making the right decision. I didn't expect to be 31 years old with a another bankruptcy down on my chart. I hate making decisions and I always have buyers remorse. My life would be less stressful if I filed bankrupcty because I wouldn't have the car hanging over my head but, I am nervous that I won't be able to buy another one and with the banks being funny about credit these days I don't know how I will build up my credit again. I just feel a lot of shame because I thought I would be doing better in life than what I am doing right now.

[IamOld]

Hello Rozi - I don't think anyone here is saying YEAH i got to file BK, YEAH!!! (some bad attempt at humor here). (Look my atty's office JUST called to confirm my next appt...my hands are shaking.) Anyway, for whatever it's worth, I'm older than you, and did I expect to be here at this stage of my life? No. Has it helped the marriage with the significant other? No. But - do I feel ashamed? I feel bad that this effects my kids, my marriage, but ashamed....no.

One of the great ones here - Frogger - has the best line and he is so very right - Bankruptcy is not an event, it's a process. You are amongst friends here, and we are all pulling for you!!!

(And by the way - I HATE making decisions too - this is one of the things I'm dealing with with the shrink...:-)

I just want to make sure I am making the right decision. I didn't expect to be 31 years old with a another bankruptcy down on my chart. I hate making decisions and I always have buyers remorse. My life would be less stressful if I filed bankrupcty because I wouldn't have the car hanging over my head but, I am nervous that I won't be able to buy another one and with the banks being funny about credit these days I don't know how I will build up my credit again. I just feel a lot of shame because I thought I would be doing better in life than what I am doing right now.

[Rozi]

Thanks Iamold! That made me smile