Just Filed 7 - Overwhelmed - Depressed - Don't know who to talk to

[AngelinaCat]

I feel I should have a period of grieving time and introspection or reflection and be very very cautious and careful about any decisions or major moves in my financial future. I feel like I've destroyed my financial future and feel like a huge failure.

This feeling is VERY understandable. If you have ever read anything by Elizabeth Kubler Ross, about the Five Stages of Grief, you will understand why I say this. She wrote about Death. But there are many types of Death: the physical body, a relationship/ i.e. divorce; a pet; sale of the childhood home [I actually went to a divorce seminar about that because it was free, and I wasn't even married]; finances... and the list can go on.

Here is a link to a simple form of the Five Stages:

http://www.memorialhospital.org/library/general/stress-the-3.html

If you gogglesearch, many more articles will pop up.

[rustymich]

I believe you made a smart business decision as well if the donald can do it 4-times its ok it use it once Im still a little shaken inside about it but its over now,your time will come relax as much as possible dont watch the calender it will make the wait worse...God be with you through this terrible time PEACE....

[rustymich]

Great

Absolutely!! Our OP is a quintessential BKer. Stressed, afraid, shamed, humiliated. This we all have felt, no? At the age of 63, and at one time Mrs. and I worth on paper, over ten mil, and had plenty of money, circumstances we never dreamed of brought us to making it day to day.

Bankruptcy was the best thing in life (besides our marriage) that we ever did. Our Host has one thing going that we did not. He/she found us, that is support and knowledge. We found this place after making every mistake imaginable.

The best thing is our values changed, and even in our older age, we learned and found that "stuff" has no real value, and pride of ownership is a cheap hoax that marketing put upon us as citizens.

We are MUCH happier making the decision (as if we had a choice) to bk. We are far happier on a cash system, and owing no person or entity. Our OP will soon find out how well a "new start" will change their lives for the better, if they are willing to back down from the habit that got us all here. Best of luck to our Host and to all members. 'Hub

[btbeme]

Hey, it's normal to feel this way. We have all been there. Hang in there.

I posted a summary of my experience earlier, called What I Have Learned in Filing Bankruptcy. Those posts summarize pretty much the same range of challenges we felt when filing - and how we dealt with them.

This isn't supposed to be fun (if it were fun, they would call it "camp"), nor is it supposed to be easy. But, it does NOT have to be humiliating. I'd argue that, if you do your homework right, it hardly has to be stressful, though telling someone "Don't stress!" is like telling someone "Don't breathe!"

So long as you are honest about how and why you are going about this process, you have nothing to fear.

[jacko]

Donald Trump has filed for business BK under a few of his firm entities and is not remorseful about it. Its just business and the cost of doing it.

I hope I've posted this in the right section (moderators, please move if appropriate). It's been a long painful and stressful journey to get to this point, but with no more options left, I finally signed the papers this week in my lawyer's office and cried all the way down the elevator back to the car.

I obviously can't turn to my friends or family for support because I'm overwhelmed with shame, sadness, panic, stress, worry... and I just don't know how to survive getting through the next months til the 341. Not sleeping well and struggling with depression.

Husband says I need to move forward in faith and be happy that relief is on the way, but I won't know that for sure until it's all said-and-done and FINAL. Plus, I don't feel that I have a RIGHT to be happy and care-free. I feel I should have a period of grieving time and introspection or reflection and be very very cautious and careful about any decisions or major moves in my financial future. I feel like I've destroyed my financial future and feel like a huge failure.

I'm sure you've heard it all and I could ramble on for hours about all my mixed-up, overwhelming feelings. I just didn't know where else to go because it's obviously not something you can turn to your friends about for support, and I feel bad asking my husband to carry the burden of my despair. I just feel so alone and scared and burdened.

Thanks for listening.

[Pandora]

hang in there OP - as the others have already stated - we all understand where you're coming from / how you're feeling. Remove the guilt, shame, feeling badly, etc... and start to view it as a business decision, learning as you go forward.

Dont be too hard on yourself - remember we tend to judge ourselves the harshest ;)

[maffy]

Please hang in there kawimominPA - as you can tell you've reached the right place and you are not alone in your feelings. I filed in February and the stress leading up to that point was constant for about a year prior for me. I took my time and researched what I needed to do and this board was (and still is) invaluable!!! One of that hardest things for me were the constant phone calls from creditors that "reminded" me each day that I wasn't doing what I thought I should be doing - paying all my bills. But having the ability to file is there for a reason - to give people a fresh start, and there are many of us out there.

Please use this board and connect with it's caring and knowledgeable people. You are just finding your way again and we're here to help you in any way that we can! Please stay strong, the process will go by quicker than you think! Your new beginning is just around the corner!

[kawimominPA]

Thank you all again, so much. I can't answer right away because of my current work schedule, but I was anxious to get back and send my heart-felt THANK YOU to all the wonderful expressions of support and encouragement. I just finished my post-filing credit counseling class and have now entered the terrible stage of waiting........ waiting for a court date or notice of any questions or glitches with our case. I'm just getting through each day at a time, thankful for long work hours to distract me, VERY thankful for my loving/patient/supportive husband, and EXTREMELY thankful to have found this awesome place to come for help and a little emotional CPR. Bless you all and I will surely keep you posted.
{{Hugs}}

[SunshineGal]

Hi kawimominpa,

I don't know if it will help you any, but it sure did help me so I'll share. Once all the paperwork was turned in and the 341 was scheduled, I told myself "It is what it is and out of my control, no matter what happens I can deal with it because nothing can be worse than the stress right now!" We have now filed, been discharged, dealt with no-asset to asset and back to no asset and are now officially closed! Life is SO much better than it was this time last year!

Hang in there and it will all be over before you know it!

SG

[disconapper]

Hi kawimominpa,

I understand exactly where you are coming from, as everyone else on this forum does. This forum has been a Godsend thus far. I'm a few days shy of my 341, it's this Tuesday and believe it or not, the days since I filed flew by.

The day I filed I got physically ill, it was crazy. My head was all over the place, I was flooding with doubt, feelings of failure, etc. But, in the end it was absolutely the best financial decision I have ever made.

Comfort in your decision will come with time. Initial fear is normal.

Welcome to the forum, everyone here will help you through this crazy process, no doubt about it.

[kawimominPA]

Thank you all so much. Just got the notice today for the 341 date - July 6. So I have just a month to sweat it out. I can't even begin to thank you all for being here for me. Just knowing you're all here, 24/7 is such a HUGE stress-reliever!! Thank you all SO SO SO MUCH !!!!!

[BrokeInCali]

On a very, very strange coincidence ~ My 341 is on July 6th too

[AngelinaCat]

To both kawimominPA and BrokeInCali: July 6 is just TWO days after July 4, when we celebrate the commemoration of the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, declaring our independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain.

On July 6, you both get to declare YOUR Financial Independence from the tyranny of debt. Go forward with your heads held high.

You have plenty of time to prepare. My very best wishes go with the both of you!

[kawimominPA]

Thank you, Cat.

[747LUVR]

Welcome to the club KawimominPa, what your feeling is what most of your friends here in this forum have experienced. You too shall overcome the despair, and the wrecked nerves and the sleepless nights, among many other emotions. Most peeps on here will not judge you, nor put you down, but offer encouragement, advice and and ear to listen. there is a wealth of knowledge and a mountain of care in here, so hang in there, it will get better for you and your family!