I had to come back and share this for any new people who might be lurking. I am SO thankful I came to this site because I am not sure where I would be right now had I not.
Going into BK I was fully intending to keep my house and my car, planned to reaffirm (because that's what the attorneys I first consulted with said to do) and just wanted to get rid of credit card debt ($30,000). I found this website that not only encouraged you interview more than one attorney, but also to NOT reaffirm anything. 3rd attorney I met with advised the same and after some soul searching and discussing with my husband, we opted not to save the house and ultimately we decided to walk away completely (needs too much work and it has taken a 50% hit since we purchased just 4 years ago). However, up until the last minute I did plan to reaffirm my car and my attorney talked us out of it. I just didn't want to give up EVERYTHING and I needed a car for my job with a commute. But we decided without paying rent/mortgage we could save a few thousand dollars and purchase a car instead of having a car payment for a car that is already 4 years old with 3 more years to pay off. Very flipped!
Anyway, my point.
When we filed BK my husband and I both had very secure jobs, making a very average income, but stable and secure. Me employed with same company for 15 years, him working towards a great new career running a family business. My job was secure, but slowly killing me...literally. I have been so stressed out and sick it's part of the reason we had so much debt - MEDICAL BILLS. 3 years ago they moved me to an office almost an hour from where I live (instead of the office 20 minutes away) to do the same job WITH a pay cut and more work. I sucked it up and did it, because I had to. Mortgage, debt, car, medications, health insurance etc etc....had no choice. I had been seeing my therapist once a week trying to stop being so stressed and having my body rebel. Didn't help, the anxiety was SO bad I thought I was having a heart attack on more than one occasion. About a month ago we had a meeting and were told they were moving us to ANOTHER office, even further from my home - twice the distance I had already been commuting for 3 years. That commute was nearly killing me, so I knew twice that for a job I grew to hate would downright do me in. My husband and I decided it was time to move on and I resigned 2weeks ago, yesterday being my first day unemployed.
It was the most difficult decision ever, but life is too short and I couldn't continue killing myself for $15 an hour. I worked for this company since I was 21 years old, so being terrified was an understatement, but knew deep down it was the only sane decision. The health insurance became crap, mostly benefited only catastrophic events and I was literally spending 50% of my income on transportation, including that bankrupted car I continued to pay on because I needed reliable transportation. Had I not done the bankruptcy, not reaffirmed my house and car I honestly do not know where I would be. We are waiting for foreclosure and pray that we have some time because my husband's income can get us by even if I don't get Unemployment (I am trying since they moved me so far from home), but once we have to pay rent we will be a bit short.
I read this quote recently and it spoke to me a great deal:
When asked "What thing about humanity surprises you the most?" the Dalai Lama answered: Man, he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result - he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived
Going into BK I was fully intending to keep my house and my car, planned to reaffirm (because that's what the attorneys I first consulted with said to do) and just wanted to get rid of credit card debt ($30,000). I found this website that not only encouraged you interview more than one attorney, but also to NOT reaffirm anything. 3rd attorney I met with advised the same and after some soul searching and discussing with my husband, we opted not to save the house and ultimately we decided to walk away completely (needs too much work and it has taken a 50% hit since we purchased just 4 years ago). However, up until the last minute I did plan to reaffirm my car and my attorney talked us out of it. I just didn't want to give up EVERYTHING and I needed a car for my job with a commute. But we decided without paying rent/mortgage we could save a few thousand dollars and purchase a car instead of having a car payment for a car that is already 4 years old with 3 more years to pay off. Very flipped!
Anyway, my point.
When we filed BK my husband and I both had very secure jobs, making a very average income, but stable and secure. Me employed with same company for 15 years, him working towards a great new career running a family business. My job was secure, but slowly killing me...literally. I have been so stressed out and sick it's part of the reason we had so much debt - MEDICAL BILLS. 3 years ago they moved me to an office almost an hour from where I live (instead of the office 20 minutes away) to do the same job WITH a pay cut and more work. I sucked it up and did it, because I had to. Mortgage, debt, car, medications, health insurance etc etc....had no choice. I had been seeing my therapist once a week trying to stop being so stressed and having my body rebel. Didn't help, the anxiety was SO bad I thought I was having a heart attack on more than one occasion. About a month ago we had a meeting and were told they were moving us to ANOTHER office, even further from my home - twice the distance I had already been commuting for 3 years. That commute was nearly killing me, so I knew twice that for a job I grew to hate would downright do me in. My husband and I decided it was time to move on and I resigned 2weeks ago, yesterday being my first day unemployed.
It was the most difficult decision ever, but life is too short and I couldn't continue killing myself for $15 an hour. I worked for this company since I was 21 years old, so being terrified was an understatement, but knew deep down it was the only sane decision. The health insurance became crap, mostly benefited only catastrophic events and I was literally spending 50% of my income on transportation, including that bankrupted car I continued to pay on because I needed reliable transportation. Had I not done the bankruptcy, not reaffirmed my house and car I honestly do not know where I would be. We are waiting for foreclosure and pray that we have some time because my husband's income can get us by even if I don't get Unemployment (I am trying since they moved me so far from home), but once we have to pay rent we will be a bit short.
I read this quote recently and it spoke to me a great deal:
When asked "What thing about humanity surprises you the most?" the Dalai Lama answered: Man, he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result - he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived
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