To lawyer for meeting #1

[Waited2long]

Trip to lawyer in three hours! First time in his office. Really nervous. I filled out paperwork for income and expenses and I can't even explain how we stayed current for so long! $80,000.00 + in CC debt we were paying until last week when he advised me to stop paying all except mortgage and utilities. What a waste of money. We have no car payments. Hope we can exempt the house, file chap 7 and get the rest of this over with. Even without CC payments budget looks tight! Hoping for the best.

[StartinOver]

We found that when we looked at our situation like that on paper, we recognized how impossible going forward with our situation was going to be, and I was finally able to recognize that I had been doing something superhuman and unsustainable and to forgive myself for letting go of it all.

I've decided not to do "iffy" and "tight" any more. As I proceed with this bankruptcy and get my new start, I will find a way to live within my means and if that means admitting that I'm NOT middle class, though my parents were, then so be it. No starbucks-dunkins-etc., no data plan, no retail therapy, no closet full of brand names, no trendy nothin' for me! But I will sleep every night and wake rested. No more stress!

[lillymarlene]

I think so to.

I will find a way to live within my means and if that means admitting that I'm NOT middle class, though my parents were, then so be it. No starbucks-dunkins-etc., no data plan, no retail therapy, no closet full of brand names,

And we can all thank the big banks for putting us here!

[StartinOver]

The big banks didn't put me here. I put me here. I bought more house than we needed for 130K in '98, when hubby and I were making 150K a year. Financed for 15 years. The tech bubble took our income down to 75K and we'd have been alright if we hadn't developed a set of consumer sensibilities that involved all those things I listed that suck money out of your pockets. In between I started improving the house. More salary cuts and reductions later, more "interesting house projects" using all that appreciated equity, and refinancing to improve the property and using credit cards whenever we wanted something bigger than our means would allow... Now that the tech bubble and the real estate bubbles have burst with messy results the long term effect is that hubby and I are both in start over jobs, with a combined income of 1/3 what we were making then, and combined 1st and 2nd mortgage monthly of 2+K per month, along with about 1200/mo to unsecureds including student debt... it's just not doable anymore.

Our original payment was about 1K per month. That would be affordable to us even now, if we BK the credit card debt after all the credit cards upped their rates, to 29.99%. The house would be 3 years from paid off now, if I'd left well enough alone. But "I want it all" syndrome is what put me in the position that I could not weather the storms of lost jobs, reduced salaries, increased interest rates. If we had always lived within our means, it would not matter that cc interest rates are 29.99, because 29.99 percent of nothing is... nothing!

The big banks didn't do this to me. I did this to me. I am not a victim except of self-inflicted stupid behavior and thinking I was "different" and it would all be OK for me.

[lillymarlene]

StartingOver, Yes you're right. Ultimately this is what happens to anybody I guess, when trying to live beyond your means. I had a death in my family and sales in my small business really fell off by the end of December 2007. I had way too much credit card debt. Then some of my business and personal credit cards, cut my limits to about a 1/3 of what they previously were. Then I was late a couple of times, and of course the interest rates were boosted up to 30%. I know I started my credit card situation, but this sure was not a help. LOL

I knew I'd never catch up, but of course I kept hoping something would happen and somehow things would work out. Though I'm trying to keep it (jobs just aren't that plentiful at my age) and somehow get started up again, I had to close the location of my business last year. Then I filed bk by the end of October 2010. This is turning out to be one of the best things I ever did. My income is about 1/3 of what it used to be, but I'm trying to make it work. I sure do not miss the scrambling around trying to make the minimum payments and not answering the phone.

[UghUghUgh]

Great attitude StartingOver! I too am determined to live within our income. I learned only last week that I do not need to give up the brand names. I bought a REALLY nice brand name hoodie and two Eddie Bauer shirts in perfect shape at the Salvation Army for $6.00 total last week.

[StartinOver]

Yes, I've discovered Salvation Army, too. But even more interesting, I've discovered I really can't wear 45 sweaters at once! I'm really attuned now to noticing things like the way retail stores display sumptuous piles of the same clothing in a multitude of colors and it makes me want to buy them all even the colors I don't like or look good in!

I like when going to the register in any store that has it's own credit card and turning them down when they offer to open an account. "You'll get a extra 10% off..." and I tell them I don't use credit cards. You can tell they get something for hooking another sucker, because they try really hard to convince you that risking an open balance temptation is a good idea!

[IamOld]

Yes, I've discovered Salvation Army, too. But even more interesting, I've discovered I really can't wear 45 sweaters at once! I'm really attuned now to noticing things like the way retail stores display sumptuous piles of the same clothing in a multitude of colors and it makes me want to buy them all even the colors I don't like or look good in!

I like when going to the register in any store that has it's own credit card and turning them down when they offer to open an account. "You'll get a extra 10% off..." and I tell them I don't use credit cards. You can tell they get something for hooking another sucker, because they try really hard to convince you that risking an open balance temptation is a good idea!

Couldn't agree with you more!!

BUT - let us NEVER let the banking-finance industrial complex off the hook. If we - the taxpayer - are giving them money (whether we like it or not) at 0% interest, why are WE paying them 30%!!! It's simply stupid (forgive me) - if I can't pay at 20%, why do they think I can at 30%?

I could pay at 5% or 6% and I think many of us may not be here if the the "banksters" were more logical.

Nevertheless, I blame myself. NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER again will I have a credit card or loan unless it's a reasonable car or house.