have nuked the past with a chapter 7, now what and what will the future hold?

[NewStart11]

Now that I have nuked about around $88,000; in Credit Cards, how do I explain this to a new girl friend, new job, current job, apartment, other family members my parents and brother already know, and support. But still owe my parents money, that helped me make this decision, it was a year in the making.
Any suggestions will help....
341 3/17/11
Credit report show $0.00 now...
Awaiting discharge:

[espo1357]

You are thinking about too many things it seems. Be thankful that you can start over and just make better decisions moving forward. Be patient.

That is all you can do. Relax now. Have a beer.

[AngelinaCat]

I agree with espo1357. You are over-thinking this. You owe NO ONE an explanation for anything, other than your parents, perhaps because they helped you and you honorably wish to pay back.

When you find the right partner in life--and you are absolutely sure--then broach the subject. You WILL need to discuss your financial affairs, because the biggest cause of divorce or break-ups is how the people entering into a partnership called 'marriage' is how they handle money.

Good luck to you.

[ValleYum]

Now that I have nuked about around $88,000; in Credit Cards, how do I explain this to a new girl friend, new job, current job, apartment, other family members my parents and brother already know, and support. But still owe my parents money, that helped me make this decision, it was a year in the making.
Any suggestions will help....
341 3/17/11
Credit report show $0.00 now...

Make sure to pay your momma and daddy back once you are discharged and once you stabilize your finances. Keeping your credit good at the First National Bank of Parental Kindness is a good idea. <wink>

You really don't owe anyone an explanation for your bankruptcy decision.

That said, I would consider telling your girlfriend only if you are in a fairly serious relationship. Perhaps something along the lines of: "Some bad financial decisions coupled with the economy made it necessary for me to seek the debt relief that bankruptcy offered. It was a difficult decision but ultimately the best one for my situation and my financial future." AngelinaCat gave you some awesome advice above about when you should tell your girlfriend

I would basically use the same explanation above for family members too - but probably only on a need-to-know basis.

Regarding a new job/potential employer/boss, I would only offer the info if I was if asked - search on the boards here for those that actually faced this and use their stories and suggestions.

Good luck & Happy 60-Day Club to you!

[espo1357]

Ya, the First Bank of Parental Kindness is incredible.
Sometimes, I take it for granted, to grow up with such wonderful parents. So smart and so frugal. Yet, always had time for a trip to the coast for two weeks in the year and the trip to Europe every five years.

They are something. Had their home paid off in their 40s (when home were cheaper of course), no credit cards, paid cash for new cars, etc.

I have more formal education, yet had to file BK. Go figure. Lessons learned in life, I guess. Then again, they grew up with one small TV in the house, this makes me wonder about the BS in the media, and thankfully I have become a healthy pessimist!

[pikaroth]

I am of the opinion that each and every one of us, while somewhat in the same 'boat,' are also completely different, especially with who we will (or have to) talk to about it. I can ONLY talk about my current experience, and it is this: I've not hidden it from a single person. I do not mean to say I have gone around telling everyone I run into about it, but my parents and sister know, my girlfriend knows, and a few co-workers and other friends know. When all of this started, I *WAS* upset and nervous and all that, but it was internally. I was not at all ashamed or anything of the sort about it. To be honest, my mom had been recommending it for years, and I truly wish I would have listened sooner. My sister could not care less, pretty much knew it was bound to happen due to my credit card debt, and my girlfriend was overjoyed that I decided on it. She was the only one I thought MIGHT question it and that is only because she is vastly superior with her finances (or at least compared to how I was when I was younger), and she has a much higher paying job than I do. But no, she was happy and has continued to say that the day I decided to do it, I became a happier person to her.

Now she cannot wait for this Wednesday to be over with because it is my 341, and I have turned into Mr. Scared and Nervous again.

So, that's my story in regards to friends and family. Like I said, I don't go around announcing it, but, say, if someone I knew brought it up to me, saying he or she was thinking of it, I would not hesitate to tell them my experience with it.

As others have said, please don't worry too much or overthink it! *IF* it comes up, and if a friend or even your girlfriend freaks out or changes on you or anything like that, maybe it's best that it came out now rather than later.

[espo1357]

I am of the opinion that each and every one of us, while somewhat in the same 'boat,' are also completely different, especially with who we will (or have to) talk to about it. I can ONLY talk about my current experience, and it is this: I've not hidden it from a single person. I do not mean to say I have gone around telling everyone I run into about it, but my parents and sister know, my girlfriend knows, and a few co-workers and other friends know. When all of this started, I *WAS* upset and nervous and all that, but it was internally. I was not at all ashamed or anything of the sort about it. To be honest, my mom had been recommending it for years, and I truly wish I would have listened sooner. My sister could not care less, pretty much knew it was bound to happen due to my credit card debt, and my girlfriend was overjoyed that I decided on it. She was the only one I thought MIGHT question it and that is only because she is vastly superior with her finances (or at least compared to how I was when I was younger), and she has a much higher paying job than I do. But no, she was happy and has continued to say that the day I decided to do it, I became a happier person to her.

Now she cannot wait for this Wednesday to be over with because it is my 341, and I have turned into Mr. Scared and Nervous again.

So, that's my story in regards to friends and family. Like I said, I don't go around announcing it, but, say, if someone I knew brought it up to me, saying he or she was thinking of it, I would not hesitate to tell them my experience with it.

As others have said, please don't worry too much or overthink it! *IF* it comes up, and if a friend or even your girlfriend freaks out or changes on you or anything like that, maybe it's best that it came out now rather than later.

Thanks for your post.

There are times when I get these cold sweats at night, and think that I have to go to the grave with a BK. Like the obituary is going to read, FYI, this person filed for BK.

Its a bunch of BS, and I laugh about it, but at the same time I can't get rid of those lies that cloud my mind, that what I did is a reflection of being a moron.

LOL.

[NewStart11]

Thanks all, great advice!!!!
Russ


Filled 2/17/2011; 341 3/17/2011.....60 day club!

[helpme2010]

It's not that big of a deal, not with the girlfriend, that was a piece of cake for me. My family, I slowly transitioned them into it and was very surprised that they were very nice and positive about the entire thing and understood.

New job, I am in your shoes now and trying to find a job. I know I will have to do some explaining to the HR dept when and if they run a credit check (this was the major issues that slowed me down from doing a bk in the first place, but finally I came to the conclusion my survival was a lot more important than what a job thought of my credit history).

Once you move forward and especially if you get a good lawyer, it will make your life so much easier and less stressful