Advice needed - giving money to family for support

[discouraged]

I also have gone on an anti depressant and have been taking them for a little over a month. Prior to that I was having a real hard time just getting out of bed each day, much less facing bankruptcy.

I was procrastinating (hard to think about things when you don't even want to get out of bed). I've since found a good lawyer and my case was filed Friday. But, I'm not certain I would have been able to do it without the chemical help at this point.

You have a clear sign that your mind is telling you. It is time to get help when you feel suicidal. Please take care of yourself, as everyone here is saying. Depression is not something to be taken lightly and there is help to overcome it and feel better about life.

[shrews228]

You are definitely NOT alone. Our petition will be filed on March 11. Our finances were a mess before we decided to file for Ch. 7. Finally we had to make a choice...pay the credit cards or buy our kids fall/winter clothes and buy food. We were paying our minimums on the credit cards, and would have to charge them back up because all of our money went to paying the cards. It's such a vicious cycle, isn't it?? We ended up deciding to NOT pay those stinking cards and bought our kids warm clothes and went on a grocery shopping spree. You would have thought it was Christmas when I bought home all that food.

It was hard, and depressing. I have been on Zoloft for 1 1/2 years because of our finances. I had a horrible time sleeping, waking up with heart palpitations. I carried the burden myself, since I handle our family finances. I tried to protect my husband from worrying, so he didn't realize that we were in trouble. It was good to get it all out in the open and figure out a plan. A turning point for me was when I called USAA and asked them if they could possibly lower our monthly payment. They told me that "I would have to miss 5 or 6 payments, then they would talk to me". That made this decision easier. We were never late on a payment, and they couldn't even work with us. Of course, USAA did empty my children's pre-paid spending cards and the few pennies in my checking account, just because we stopped paying them.

I am finally getting my life back, and you will too!! Just hang in there the best you can. At the end of the day, if you have the health of you and your family and a roof over your head etc...that's all that matters. To heck with the credit card companies.

Good luck with everything! You all are wonderful! I know many of us couldn't go on this journey without all the support on the BKForum.

Lynda

[pikaroth]

I want to add what others have said: You are NOT ALONE. Not by a long, long, LONG shot. If thoughts like you mention have truly crossed your mind in a serious manner, please, for your family and friends and yourself, see your doctor or someone who can help in any way. Post messages here for support if you need, but please get assistance!

When I first decided to file and started the process, I could NOT sleep. I don't think I ate for a full day (and I mean anything at all), and it took weeks to get 'used' to what was happening. I got over it and, sadly, am now a wreck again due to my 341 approaching faster than I can imagine. My heart has not stopped beating in odd ways for a few days now. It's so surreal, and I wish I could stop it, but I know the only thing that will stop it is to get the 341 over with.

Again, please do not think you are alone. A majority of us here, if not all of us, have been or are currently going through what you are. No one is going to say it's easy because it's not. It's difficult and at times you feel like it will never end, but I promise you that it will end, and it will get better. One day you will look back on all of this and be glad you went through it.

[frogger]

Been there, done that, got the scars to prove it.

Life does get better.

Life is good again.............

Good luck!

[tobee43]

Been there, done that, got the scars to prove it.

Life does get better.

Life is good again.............

Good luck!

amen to that!!

[pachoo]

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to give you an update as to how I'm doing, especially when it comes to my depression. I finally called a therapist late last week and got an initial consultation on my emotional state. He definately thinks it is depression and I should go and see my doctor in addition to further counseling.

Still need to deal with our financial situation, but as all my friends and people on this board have shared, my life is more important than money or reputation. I owe it to my wife and 3 kids to get better...no matter what my head is telling me at 3 in the morning.

Thank you all for your encouraging words. I hope to be able to update you soon as I get my emotional state into repair and then deal with the money and BK stuff later.

[justbroke]

That's good to hear that you are taking care of yourself pachoo.

[discombob1]

I am so glad to hear you took this step!! This isn't an easy thing to go through, and dealing with clinical depression on top of it is one mountain too many. Keep us up to date, come here for support or to vent... just keep on taking care of yourself and the rest will follow. Big hugs!

[discouraged]

Pachoo please make a dr appt asap. The pills to help with depression take awhile to work and the sooner you start, the sooner you will feel better. I am so glad you are taking this step. I did not see a dr until it became almost critical and now, I am finally doing things around the house again, getting up in the morning and searching for jobs.

Good luck and God bless.