Devastated. Just like everyone else finding themselves in bankruptcy. *sigh*

[IamIrene]

Never thought I'd be here, but I am very grateful to find such an amazing community. This is my first post.

Quick background: My husband was laid off from a major corporation in 2005, he took a re-education package and after about 6 months of recovering from a very difficult career experience, he decided to take a 180 degree turn into healthcare. In 2009, he graduated with honors, a Registered Nurse.

Funny thing about the "nursing shortage", it is a shortage of experienced nurses, not new grads. The market if FLOODED with new grad RNs and he has not yet been able to find any gainful employment...aside from a 520 contract with the city that expired almost a year ago.

I have worked full time for the last 7 years and make decent money for my line of work (administration), but it is not enough to support our family of 4.

As of last summer, I am unable to continue paying on our credit card debt...we focus now solely on food, housing, transportation, and utilities. It has been this way since August 2010. In that month, we consulted a bk lawyer and paid most of the fees associated with filing - he is one of the best in the state and we are a really simple, straight forward case (he says). We met the means test easily and have completed pre-filing credit counseling. When our refund for 2010 comes back (in the next couple of weeks) we will be able to fix our cars to safely drivable condition, pay a couple of medical bills (on top of everything else, husband underwent major surgery last November), fix some problems on our house, and finish paying our lawyer so we can at last file our case.

I'm so tired of the calls. Our credit cards (I believe) have finally charged off our accounts...6 months of non-payment will do that I suppose, so the nasty debt collectors are starting to call now. The worst part is the utter feeling of total and complete failure. It's not like we ran up our credit buying vacations and "toys", we did use them to fill in the gaps that my salary couldn't cover though (a couple of major car repairs, medical bills, even at times groceries).

I'm feeling extremely weighed down by all of this though. Four months ago, I was suicidal. Feeling MUCH better now thanks to a really excellent book that had been recommended to me ("Trusting God Even When Life Hurts"), really helped me get some perspective back though it is still a big struggle as my husband continues to look for ANY gainful employment. He is ready to give up nursing all together, it is so bad.

Not entirely why I feel the need to post now...maybe just wanting to connect with those going through this (or have come out the other side already), trying to find a bright spot in this endless tunnel.

I have a quandary too...I plan to ask my lawyer about it when we meet next but was hoping maybe someone here would know. I have an amazing group of friends who have purchased an airline ticket for me to met up with them in California in March. They know my situation but I don't know about spending any kind of money in another state (clearly vacation related) just as I am filing for chapter 7. Granted, I'm only talking about $100 to $200 dollars total in cash, but still, I'm concerned it will look very bad. I feel caught because they (together) spent over $400 dollars on my ticket, and they've got plans for Seaworld too...I just am unsure how to handle this.

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.

[brokejoker]

#1 - Don't be too hard on yourself! You're preaching to the choir about feeling bad about not being able to pay your bills. Something I've recently figured out is it's JUST BUSINESS! If they gave money out based on if you're a good person or not we'd have a lot more millionaires running around! (At least, I'd be one! lol)

#2 - Why aren't you including the medical bills in your bankruptcy? If you pay them right before you file and they total over $600 you may run into some preferential payment mess.

#3 - Take cash to california with you! Even if you take your debit card you should be okay. A girl's gotta eat, right? Does it matter if it's at home or in California? No! Have a good time on your vacation. You're allowed to have a life even in bankruptcy.

[BKParalegal]

Only a few trustees ask for the last 90 days of bank statements prior to filing,but regardless the amount you are spending out of pocket is nominal at best that is an absolute non issue as it pertains to your BK. Tell Shamu hey

Lastly, be thankful that this law is still available to you to start over. It wasn't your fault that Clinton set in motion the absolute destruction of the mortgage industry and we all suffered for it.

Good luck

[Babybear]

It was Bush and not Clinton but anyway my question is about what was said concerning preferential treatment messes made by paying $600 to one creditor. Can someone explain why that would be an issue. Is it best to make payments under 600 total in the months prior to filing? How many months back are we talking?

Thank you

[BKParalegal]

The bill deregulating the mortgage industry was signed Nov. 12, 1999 by Bill Clinton and that was the beginning of the end. In regards to payments to unsecured creditors, if the amount paid is in excess of $600 within 90 days of filing then it is considered preferential treatment to those creditors and the trustee could seize those funds and redistribute it to all of the creditors.

[NewPage]

It's not like we ran up our credit buying vacations and "toys", we did use them to fill in the gaps that my salary couldn't cover though (a couple of major car repairs, medical bills, even at times groceries).

Yep. I think these days that is probably the case a lot more than it used to be. I look at the credit card debt, and what do I/we have to show for it? Nothing. Except memories of a nice little trip (not fancy, mind you, but a fun time) to Vegas in 2002, and 3/4 of my children (I paid post-insurance processing hospital bills via credit card. Stupid.) I'm 41.5. I'd like to be able to take my kids to Disneyland (NOT paid for via credit card!) and enjoy life, not pay for the next who knows how many years -- and likely end up MORE than repaying what I borrowed. Shoot, I probably already have done that.

We don't generally get do-overs in life. We can in this instance. I'm taking it!

[OhioFiler]

It was Bush and not Clinton but anyway my question is about what was said concerning preferential treatment messes made by paying $600 to one creditor. Can someone explain why that would be an issue. Is it best to make payments under 600 total in the months prior to filing? How many months back are we talking?

Thank you

History began before January 20, 2001. Take a look at the Community Reinvestment Act signed into law by the worst president in modern history (surpassed only recently by the current titleholder) in 1977. There you will find the beginning of the end in smart lending practices.

Irene, you'll be fine.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Irene, we have all experienced the same feelings you are talking about. A rolling pain in the gut and a feeling of loose bowels when another phone call rings or a threatening letter arrives. The hardest part of any journey is the first step. You have made that first step by your decision to bk. It is simply a tactical business decision that by no way did you plan to make in your life.

In this economy you are one of many more to come. Don't feel badly. You will have to face "The Brave New World" as our current 'Vacationer in Chief' has stated and is coming to pass.

It's not all that bad to realize that personal wealth is more than money. We took our lemon struck life and turned it into lemonade and are enjoying no debt and cash only. We were taken down from being millionaires to a much better reality, That is, being content with where we are at in life.

Another book that you may like is: "My Cat Saved My Life" by Phillip Schreibman, ISBN 0-9683273-0-3. It changed my wife's life as well as mine, and the philosophy of life is parallel to what the "Good Book" leads us to. You would enjoy this book.

About vacation, have your doctor give you a script stating you need a respite. Don't you think you do? Once you file, a whole lot of weight will suddenly disappear from you shoulders. 'Hub

[tobee43]

irene...i'm surely with hub on this one....we have all gone through the guilt....the fear, the tears...all of it. i know it seems like it will never get better...but promise you...it will.

personally, and not attempting to be dishonest about anything....however, don't even give going to CA another thought...just go...use CASH....and attempt to relax and rest to help you recoup yourself!!

best of luck to you!

[discombob1]

Irene, we've all been there. Trust me, you haven't had a feeling or situation that one (or all) of us hasn't had. You are not alone, and nobody here will judge you.

My opinion as well... don't pay the medical bills, go to CA and use cash, and know that it really will get better. A lot better!

[tobee43]

and irene...just an added note for you...we had approx 200k worth of medical bills when we filed...

[pikaroth]

Others have already said it all, but I want to agree: go to California and use cash. Period. Do not NOT go. You owe it to yourself. Go and enjoy yourself.

Also, it DOES get better. I, like everyone here, and living proof of that. While my life is not perfect yet (won't be that way until this process is done), it has gotten so much better since I started this process. Also, have you given your attorney all of his fees and payments and what not? If so, the creditors and everyone should NOT be calling you. Your attorney should advise you to give them his name and number and that will be that.

Good luck to you, and again, go to California!

[Feelbad]

I wouldn't worry too much about the vacation. Use cash and spend sparingly as others have advocated. My wife went on a vacation with friends about six weeks after we filed. They bought her ticket and room so food was really the only expense.

One tip - Go to your bank and have them print 12 months of bank statements within a couple of days of filing. That way should they request copies later, post filing transactions won't be available to prompt questions by the trustee.

[Toby629]

I can validate every feeling and emotion you are going through from reading your story. We waited a year and half to file BK, and went through the same feelings you're saying. You just have to soldier through and know that it DOES get better, there is a light at the end and it will be worth it. Also know you are not alone here, there is so much support and helping from people who have been through the dark and are now enjoying life again. My DH lost his job too which is how we ended up in this situation, he is now employed again but at much less than he used to make. Keep the faith, we are pulling for you!

[IamIrene]

Thank you all so much. Your words really mean a lot to me. I will go to San Diego without worry and try to relax.

Some of our expected funds have come through this week so at last, I can pay the remaining balance to our attorney and get our bankruptcy going full steam. I imagine, since its been about five months since I collected all the paperwork, that I'll need to update everything so, still lots to do.

brokejoker

#2 - Why aren't you including the medical bills in your bankruptcy? If you pay them right before you file and they total over $600 you may run into some preferential payment mess.

I guess I'm concerned that my doctor will drop me. He's been my doctor for 15 years and is really wonderful and I feel so bad about "skipping out" on him.