Husband is dieing of cancer, please help.

[VerySad]

My husband is dieing of cancer and we are in debt. We have about 40k in debt and are looking to file for bankruptcy. There are 2 out of three vehicles we decided to stop paying, we are waiting for them to reposes the vehicles. We have a third paid off. I make enough money to pay the rent, food, electricity, etc.... but as he has stopped working and will not likely return to work we will not be able to make the payments on everything else.


How do I go through this process? Will they want to take money from my or his social security or retirement (16k a year)?

Can someone direct me on what to do?

[btbeme]

First, my prayers and condolences. Nobody should have to go through this.

As for what to do...I am not an attorney, but I do recommend that you speak with one. Or two or three. What you hear will likely give you peace of mind. Most will give you 30 to 60 minutes of free consultation on your first visit. Be prepared by having a good idea about your income, expenses, and the value of any major assets you have (home, vehicles, etc).

My instinct says that you should strongly consider waiting until...um...the end to do a BK. You will likely have much larger medical bills, etc that can be washed clean with a BK after his death.

Spend what time you have together. Some creditors will call off the dogs and leave you alone if you provide them with some proof of terminal illness. Otherwise, change your phone number or shift it to Google Voice and block the calls. Do whatever you need to do to have a peaceful end. What little life we are given is meant to be enjoyed...the rest is just stuff.

One important consideration to discuss with some good BK attorneys is any life insurance proceeds, pension, or other monetary benefits he will leave behind. There will likely be some case law that will dictate when or whether a BK will work best for you after his death. But, again, I believe you will get peace of mind having a frank discussion with some good BK attorneys.

As for what to do when you actually do file BK...there are a lot of threads here that will help you understand the process. First, get some good legal advice. And keep us up to date so we can help you as you need it.

[PushRestart]

Hang in there VerySad, this forum is full of really good folks who will help you navigate this tough process. I second the advice of getting one or more free consultations from lawyers, the best ones will hopefully be apparent to you after a face to face meeting. I know my lawyer is a good guy and is holding my hand on a regular basis... God bless and my family and I will send our prayers and positive thoughts to you.

[dneil]

I am sorry to read about your situation. I agree with what btbme has said. When my father was ill and dieing, my mother and him were going through bankruptcy. The attorney ended up telling my mother that they were best to wait until my father had passed to file. When things took their 'course' and dad escaped his suffering, the attorney got her through the bankruptcy. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[AngelinaCatHub]

I agree strongly with 'btbeme'.

The big "C" took my Dad at age 52. No one on my Dad's side ever made it to 60. I have my eyes open for my dose and did recieve it six years ago. Prostate fast growing. Took advice of doctor and had the ultimate fix, a complete prostectomy. It saved my life for a time. I'm more than half way through my sixties.

I'm so sorry for you and what you have soon to face. Use your time wisely and put the finances on the 'other burner', and spend your quality time with hubby. THAT is what is the most important thing. The money situation will cure in time. The time you still have with hubby is golden. Don't waste it on worry, only love and aid for your hub.

You will have to be strong for him, and show no stress but for him. Make his life more easy by making you time together count. GBWY 'Hub

[frogger]

Do you have health insurance that is covering the medical bills?

[Cristo]

Dear VerySad,

I'm sorry you and your husband are going through this. I lost my husband to cancer when he was 50 and I was 35. I know it's very hard to get away for an attorney visit during this time but if you can you might want to. If you can take a trusted friend or relative with you that would be even better since I know that I would have been too upset and probably would not have remembered most of what they told me. Are the debts in both your names or just one? My husband had some credit card debt that was just in his name that I just stopped paying after I sent them the death certificate. If this is the case you might not need to file bk.

I'm pretty sure they can't touch social security. I get a small $325 a month pension from my late husband that I did have to include as income.

I agree with the others that there is no rush to file and if you are going to file you may as well wait if you can until all the bills are in from the hospital.

Let us know more about your situation and we will do our best to help you. I know my husband would have wanted to help me take care of this before he died, but we were not in a bk situation then, so if that is the case I understand. If he is well enough and insists on "taking care of this" he could go to the lawyer with you, but if not you can do it on your own later and you will be fine. My husband insisted on selling his truck so that I would not have to do it. He fought like hell for 3 years so that he would not leave me alone. It's been 8 years and I still miss him very much.

We are there for you. Hang in there.

[jlynn275]

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. Try to focus as much energy and time you have on your husband.

[sjades]

we're really sorry to hear what you're going through. you have lots of advice and support on this forum. spend time with your husband and let the financial worries take a back seat as difficult as it may be. you will never regret spending that time with him. our hearts go out to you! please keep us posted. shel.

[AbbeyA]

I'm so sorry for both of you : (

I agree with everything everyone else has said about waiting to file. My thoughts and prayers are going out to you and your dh and family.