HELP!!!! My wife has gone crazy and is selling all our stuff.

[odie77k]

My wife and I filed for bankruptcy in late June or early July. We had 2 homes (one in GR that was mine and one in a small town just outside GR that is hers) and she was having a hard time affording her payments. We had been dating a while and were talking about moving in so when she was really struggling I did what just about any guy would do for the woman he loves. I moved in with her and found someone to rent my place. The guy that was renting my place was working out pretty well and life was good. Then the guy renting my house stopped paying and dodging me. We were trying to evict him but anyone with rental property will tell you that can be near impossible. We had to make a choice. Move in to my house and let hers go or stay in hers and let mine go. We decided to let mine go because hers was in a much better neighborhood and school district for my 6 year old and her 14 year old. My house went into foreclosure and we filed for bankruptcy. Our hearing was around the middle of August and went well. We went home and went on with life and waited for our discharge notice. One day she went semi-crazy and informed me that she is moving out. She signed a 12 month lease and moved telling me the whole time that she doesn't want a divorce. Things have gotten worse and we are probably going to divorce now because I can't take the constant lying and deception. There is no other man. When she was moving out she began to sell stuff. She sold our lawn tractor and our snowblower our washer and drier and a bunch of furniture. I received a letter from our lawyer a few weeks later stating that our case had been discharged and on the back it mentioned that one spouse could sue another spouse if they started selling property before the case is discharged. She doesn't want the house and is going to let it go into foreclosure. I want the house but doubt I can get approved for the mortgage because of the bankruptcy. She doesn't want the house but refuses to do a quit deed so that I can at least try to keep it. Do I have a legal leg to stand on here. Can I sue her for selling of all that stuff (even though it was hers before the marriage), do I have a prayer at getting the house? She reaffirmed the mortgage and then renigged on it a few months later. Will this affect my credit at all? Anyone that can help I would greatly appreciate it. I feel like I got conned. She begs me to move in for months then WE decide to give up my house then when it's all said and done she moves out and leaves me basically homeless. Any lawyers out there that do pro bono work (lol) please get in touch with me. I could use any advice at all. It will be easier to reach me at my email address but I can't include it because I don't have fifteen posts so if you want I can send you my email. I would also be willing to talk on the phone if that would be easier. Drop me a line and I can forward my number on to you. Please please please help. I have a 6 year old daughter and need a home for her and I and don't want to uproot her and move her again. Thanks for listening

Mike

[AngelinaCatHub]

My Friend, you have a problem for sure. However as I see it, telling this to a Judge as you did here, would be advisable. Gather up now, a paper trail of all that you stated.

You do not have an alternative. Believe her that she does not want a divorce, I'll sell you the Brooklen Bridge. No other man? Laugh, laugh, laugh.

There is a reason and you know so don't BS me. I've been here and there and know the signs.

I would hit her first with the divorce with what you have said as evidence and paper to back it.

I doubt you were set up. You were an escape from wherever she came and tell me I'm wrong. The best thing you can do is get out of this. Sue for the house and "pay through" or let her go under. As far as your credit, it is trashed by the fact of the bk. Last thing to worry about.

Yes, you don't have a friend there but I would wager she does. (been there).

Until you can update, I would concentrate on your own welfare and go for the throat on this one. 'Hub


EDIT: As far as selling stuff she owned before marriage, you have no standing on that one.

[Peeps]

oh my... yep this is ickly. Woman's perspective here...this whole thing has "manipulation" written all over it and it's not very likely that the manipulation just stopped and suddenly she wants to move on for no reason. You were once a greener pasture and now another greener pasture has come along. Hub's point about another-someone in the wings is probably spot-on. But that could be a good thing because that means the manipulation is shifting to some other poor schmuck and you'll soon be off the hook. Sorry, but there are some really mean women out there.

I second the motion: be proactive and look out for yourself. Protect whatever assets you may still have, like bank accounts. Gather paperwork/receipts/taxes while she still thinks you're clueless. About the only defense you have right now is the fact that she has reason to underestimate what you'll do. Consider finding a very savvy divorce lawyer that can help you with the property/asset backtracking.

I'm gonna guess you're a nice guy. Sure seems like you've done a lot of nice things. You can bet she's counting on that. If you don't want to finish last, you're probably going to have to get your hands dirty. Best of luck to you.

[tcreegan]

Hi odie,

....still got that lawyer?

Short-term on the house is easy: keep making payments, the mortgage lender doesn't care who makes the payments, and if the loan is current they won't foreclose.

Long-term is going to depend on a divorce decree. With 'her house' and 'she reaffirmed' can we assume the title and note is in her name only? If she won't sign it over to you, hopefully the d. judge will.

Forget the suing for the lawn tractor and snow blower, will cost more than you would get
Don't fret over the credit issue, that ship sailed when you filed BK

I agree w/ ACH and Peeps, start getting everything documented, papers together, and find a divorce lawyer.

I do have an alternative possibility on the behavior, has your wife ever been evaluated for bi-polar disorder? Her behavior matches real close to some people I have seen with this diagnosis.

In the meantime, hang in there, take care of that 6 yr old daughter, and keep us posted!

Tom in Colo

[dneil]

I agree with everything the posters above have stated..... but I just want to add that remember that thing called karma.... She will have some coming back to her. Oh, and when the guy she is most likely with wises up and she tries to run back to you... RUN.

Best of Luck to you!

[Peeps]

And Tom's bipolar point is excellent too.

I kinda wanted to bring that up but then thought maybe I'd better not. See, I happen to have some firsthand experience with it myself and I absolutely see some of my own pre-divorce behaviors in what you've described in your wife's actions. But having been there, "hey maybe you should talk to a doc," isn't something easily reconciled or accepted; because it's always about the other person's faults and not your own when you're not ready to admit you might have a bipolar disorder. I didn't actually get my bipolar diagnosis until over a decade after the divorce. For the record, I gave the ex absolutely everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) in the divorce so it's not like you have to be a meanie even if you are bipolar. In your case, though, it looks like you really could get hurt by what's going on. Just be careful and CYA. Feel free to use the forum's private message system if you would like me to elaborate on crazy wife stuff. Been there, done that (much wiser now).