My first post, and I am a bit overwhelmed; can anyone relate?

[PushRestart]

My wife and I decided to pull the trigger on a chap 7 bk in a few months because our massive debt load is just tearing us up, with lots of stress, angst, worry and good old fear. Our income as realtors goes up and down and combined with some poor money mgmt over the last many years we have planted ourselves firmly into The No Bueno (Not Good) place. No matter how much we take in, it is simply not denting our debt load at all and the stress/worry factor is actually causing unpleasant physical symptoms for my wife and I. We have both struggled with this decision, having always paid our bills before but now watching this slow painful financial collapse cause our bodies and brains real problems that are affecting our ability to work/live/breathe we are trying to move out of the problem and into the solution asap. We got a rock star lawyer who has done almost 2,000 bks and is holding our nervous little hands as we prepare for this, but I will still admit that the stress of contemplating and preparing for the bk (to fix the stress of the load of debt) is pretty heavy too... Dang. I do not know if I really have a question for you all, I suppose I just want to thank all of you on this forum for sharing so much thoughtful and helpful info that has helped my wife and I to adjust to our new reality. Thank you all and may you all have a blessed New Year,
Sincerely,
PushRestart
Prepping to file a chap 7 bk in 2011

[Peeps]

I'm getting ready to file Ch 7 in 2011 too. So we're in kind of the same boat even though our circumstances are a bit different. Fear of the unknown. Change. Plenty of room for anxiety there, no doubt. But this particular change brings a fresh start and that's really something to look forward to. I've found that thinking about the outcome helps change that fearful anxiety into hopeful anxiety. The latter feels a whole lot better!

Anyway, welcome and good luck with your BK. It sounds like you've got a good start and a solid plan to move forward.

[pavlikclan]

It's not as horrible as you think it is for sure. I was actually shocked when we went in for our meeting with the trustee at how informal the entire process was. You will not be forever shunned by creditors or anything. Rebuilding is hard but it can be done. We bought our current home 3 years after we filed. Things were going great. What I will tell you since we are now going through this process for a second time with (as I start adding up things) significantly LESS than 100k in total debt (this includes the mortgage on our 1700 square foot home) stay away from credit cards if at all possible. What seems like such a miniscule amount when you are making a really decent living can very quickly become crippling if you lose a significant chunk of that income. 2 years ago I could have paid off our credit card debt with my husband's bonus check. Today it would take me 6.5 months putting every SINGLE penny we earn towards it. My new rule after this time (last time it was not get into unsecured debt that I couldn't completely pay off at least once a year and be debt free) this time it will be not get into any unsecured debt greater than one month of my husbands salary. Which is not much at this point lol. The only exception I will ever make to this rule is educational costs which will help in the future with better job opportunities, a better life for us, and our children. I will invest my money in ME, but nope not going to be lining the pockets of the credit card companies anymore. Even when done moderately and responsibly and WELL within your means, it can EASILY turn you around and bite you in the ass!

[PushRestart]

I'm getting ready to file Ch 7 in 2011 too. So we're in kind of the same boat even though our circumstances are a bit different. Fear of the unknown. Change. Plenty of room for anxiety there, no doubt. But this particular change brings a fresh start and that's really something to look forward to. I've found that thinking about the outcome helps change that fearful anxiety into hopeful anxiety. The latter feels a whole lot better!

Anyway, welcome and good luck with your BK. It sounds like you've got a good start and a solid plan to move forward.

Thanks for the encouraging words Peeps, we are indeed coming to (try?) to put our focus on the big picture/salvation that this bk represents. Also, it would be nice to see these stress-related symptoms go away (sore muscles, bad sleep and other fun stuff. :o)

[PushRestart]

It's not as horrible as you think it is for sure. I was actually shocked when we went in for our meeting with the trustee at how informal the entire process was. You will not be forever shunned by creditors or anything. Rebuilding is hard but it can be done. We bought our current home 3 years after we filed. Things were going great. What I will tell you since we are now going through this process for a second time with (as I start adding up things) significantly LESS than 100k in total debt (this includes the mortgage on our 1700 square foot home) stay away from credit cards if at all possible. What seems like such a miniscule amount when you are making a really decent living can very quickly become crippling if you lose a significant chunk of that income. 2 years ago I could have paid off our credit card debt with my husband's bonus check. Today it would take me 6.5 months putting every SINGLE penny we earn towards it. My new rule after this time (last time it was not get into unsecured debt that I couldn't completely pay off at least once a year and be debt free) this time it will be not get into any unsecured debt greater than one month of my husbands salary. Which is not much at this point lol. The only exception I will ever make to this rule is educational costs which will help in the future with better job opportunities, a better life for us, and our children. I will invest my money in ME, but nope not going to be lining the pockets of the credit card companies anymore. Even when done moderately and responsibly and WELL within your means, it can EASILY turn you around and bite you in the ass!

Thanks PavlikClan, my wife and I are pretty paranoid about hopping into credit card land again, I will take what you shared as a good cautionary tale to remember. We want to own a home again someday, but are not sure when we can do so after the bk is done...

[NewPage]

Just wanted to say "Welcome" and hang in there!

I *know* this is scary and unfamiliar. But, you will navigate it and come out okay, I am sure :-) The folks here are a lot of help :-)

I understand about the income. My husband is an appraiser, and our income took a big ol' hit this year. It's been rough. We have qualified for food benefits recently though, and that helps a lot. It hurts his pride, but I don't care. With smart shopping, it feeds our family! I am filing BK on my own, his debt load is actually not bad. He has reasons for not wanting to file, so he is not.

Anyway, do lots of reading and ask questions and ask for encouragement when you need it. Pretty soon this part will be done and you'll be on the other side. :-)

Take care,

NewPage

[tcreegan]

Hi PushRestart,

Hang in there, you are in good company around here!! Plus the million or so (literally) who are filing this year.

Wanted to throw in the notion that BK is nothing personal, strictly a business decision to protect your long-term financial situation. You have an attorney who has your back, kill a few trees worth of paperwork, and the light at the end of the tunnel won't be an oncoming freight train but your first glimpse of the "fresh start" !!

Welcome aboard!

Tom in Colo

[PushRestart]

Just wanted to say "Welcome" and hang in there!

I *know* this is scary and unfamiliar. But, you will navigate it and come out okay, I am sure :-) The folks here are a lot of help :-)

I understand about the income. My husband is an appraiser, and our income took a big ol' hit this year. It's been rough. We have qualified for food benefits recently though, and that helps a lot. It hurts his pride, but I don't care. With smart shopping, it feeds our family! I am filing BK on my own, his debt load is actually not bad. He has reasons for not wanting to file, so he is not.

Anyway, do lots of reading and ask questions and ask for encouragement when you need it. Pretty soon this part will be done and you'll be on the other side. :-)

Take care,

NewPage

Thanks NewPage for the encouragement, it means a lot to us to know we are not alone, know what I mean?

[PushRestart]

Hi PushRestart,

Hang in there, you are in good company around here!! Plus the million or so (literally) who are filing this year.

Wanted to throw in the notion that BK is nothing personal, strictly a business decision to protect your long-term financial situation. You have an attorney who has your back, kill a few trees worth of paperwork, and the light at the end of the tunnel won't be an oncoming freight train but your first glimpse of the "fresh start" !!

Welcome aboard!

Tom in Colo

Hey Tom, thanks for the reminder, I do tend to not focus on the key fact that the stress of our debt load requires a serious fix and the bk looks to be the medicine we need...

[frogger]

Welcome to the party! The first thing you need to do is get your state of mind in order. This is not personal....... this is a business decision.

Your job is to take care of your family and the business of your family. BK is the correct and legal means in which to do so when necessary.

You're not the first, and you won't be the last to file bk. Good luck and we'll be around if we can help.

[platter]

Welcome, PushRestart! After knowing for two years this economy is bad, in August I gave serious thought to filing BK. I knew I wasn't the only one and the economy is forcing many into filing. I told myself that I could either stress every day as to where my next job would be, for how long, and go through the cycle of transient work and do this for another five or seven years (depending on economy) and then find myself mentally and physically sick, broke and filing BK (OR) I could go ahead and file and get it off my back and find myself broke and filing now instead of years later. Filing now will give me the chance to save some money in the next several years as otherwise I'd just be plugging along and worrying myself sick for the next X amt of years (and maybe longer than seven, who knows?). At 53 y.o. now, I can't see myself waiting and then at 60 y.o. end up filing BK and being broke and psychologically distressed at that age.

The only thing that really bothered me at first was missing the first payments. I felt like I was committing a felony and there'd be a police car pulling up to arrest me. (lol) When the automated calls began and continued, I told myself, "This is just the ritual and these guys are in a cubicle a thousand miles away from me and this is just their job." I soon ignored the calls because they went to a second, seldom-used, cell phone and I'd changed my online cc info to that secondary number.

I hired an atty because I'm not swift enough on the uptake to do these papers myself. The worry that I'd been feeling for the last several years went away (because I'm normally in construction, traveling). All I had to begin focusing on was that I'd have to begin to have an emergency fund set aside.

I'd rather live in a tent at a fish camp than to have deal with the stress and worry as to whether I'd ever get this debt paid.

Like an old Alka-Seltzer commercial, "Fizz, fizz...oh what a relief it is!!"

Health is more important. If you don't have it, you don't have anything.

[tobee43]

My wife and I decided to pull the trigger on a chap 7 bk in a few months because our massive debt load is just tearing us up, with lots of stress, angst, worry and good old fear. Our income as realtors goes up and down and combined with some poor money mgmt over the last many years we have planted ourselves firmly into The No Bueno (Not Good) place. No matter how much we take in, it is simply not denting our debt load at all and the stress/worry factor is actually causing unpleasant physical symptoms for my wife and I. We have both struggled with this decision, having always paid our bills before but now watching this slow painful financial collapse cause our bodies and brains real problems that are affecting our ability to work/live/breathe we are trying to move out of the problem and into the solution asap. We got a rock star lawyer who has done almost 2,000 bks and is holding our nervous little hands as we prepare for this, but I will still admit that the stress of contemplating and preparing for the bk (to fix the stress of the load of debt) is pretty heavy too... Dang. I do not know if I really have a question for you all, I suppose I just want to thank all of you on this forum for sharing so much thoughtful and helpful info that has helped my wife and I to adjust to our new reality. Thank you all and may you all have a blessed New Year,
Sincerely,
PushRestart
Prepping to file a chap 7 bk in 2011

Pushrestart....GREAT NAME!!!!!

many of us have been faced with the exact situation as you....just finding ourselves spinning our wheels...going no where ....struggling daily just to TRY and make it...raising cost, lower salaries...it's just not a good place and usually we spend way too much time making the actual decision to move on to improve our lives...like filing bk.

it's a big decision, i know...but for us, it was by far the best thing we ever could have done to be able to allow us to "live" again. we too, were a two working family situation when one lost their job, and soon after the other, only to be compounded with a serious illness which left us over 200k in cc debt which we paid medical expenses with....losing our home after 33 years...it was a tough one through the tears and fears...but here we are!!! happier....just about healthier!!! and ready to begin a "new" phase...we in this house refer to it as phase "4"....(but that's another short or LONG story!).

i know you are scared, but you will be just fine! promise!!! best of luck...keep posting...we are here for you!!

[diesillady]

It has taken me three years + to get to this point. I understand all you misgiving on filing. But now that it is done, why oh why did I wait so long. My story is simple I got very ill four years ago with a boat load of CC debit, two cars and 1st and 2nd mortgage. But I had a steady check and was able to make my payments, but just the minimum payment on CC. Then my illness had to get a sick leave for 6 month and couldn't pay CC just my mortgage. The snowball just keep getting bigger after that, all those low interest rate credit card went from 9.9% to 29.9% and min payments triple. I was bless to get better and return to work, by then the credit card had $100's in late fee on each. I'm sad to say it now I had 10 different card at that time. I made myself sick worrying what to do for the last two years paying what I could. Really I was just throwing money down a black hole none of it went toward my balance just the late fees. So this year my illness comes back had to take off again for 5 month. American Express finally went to court for a judgement which I knew meant garnishment eventually. I finally just said to hell with it and I file Chapter 7 pro se with the help of a petition preparer. It was such a relief I had no problem with means test having 5 month of sick benefit and one month of earning. My last years AGI was below my family size means test amount because I miss a lot of work during 2009. Any way with all that it was a no assets case and now awaiting my discharge with cross fingers. Oh yes one thing the house I've struggle to keep finally was worth something as it has no equity (underwater 100k) I was able to exempt everything I own. I will let this house go as well I can never get back to par with what I owe and my age. I use to really believe if you where renting it was paying someone else mortgage. But now that I'm renting from the bank in essence I don't care anymore..

[tobee43]

diesillady...so sorry to hear your plight....and again i so understand it....

[PushRestart]

Welcome to the party! The first thing you need to do is get your state of mind in order. This is not personal....... this is a business decision.

Your job is to take care of your family and the business of your family. BK is the correct and legal means in which to do so when necessary.

You're not the first, and you won't be the last to file bk. Good luck and we'll be around if we can help.

Thanks a mil Frogger, the support from folks like you and others on this forum is so nice, my wife and I are very grateful for all of you sharing your experiences and hope.