For those worried about what parents will think....

[BKlooker]

I just wanted to share a kinda funny story...

So i had been losing lots of sleep lately, thinking about how my parents would take it when i told them i was going to go BK CH7 soon. Now mind you, they are both very financially stable, great credit, own rental property, gorgeous house, etc. and are from the old generation of thinking, where BK was only for degenerates and lazys.

I have severe anxiety disorder (and as a result, plenty of medical bills, which is part of what got me here in the first place), so it doesn't take much to make me worry, despite medications and treatments.

So i went home this past Friday and explained to them how i was letting the house go and the ccs to file BK within about a month. They both pined over this with me and asked if i was sure and/or if i had any assets to move around to find a way out, but of course i do not.

After that...they just basically said...well honey, you do what you need to. We still owe you 9K for your undergrad student loans we promised to pay off and haven't yet...so once you are out of this and discharged, we will give that to you as a means of help secure a fresh start.

I asked them if they were disappointed....and my dad said "Your sister is 12 years older than you. By the time she was your age (i'm 27), we had already gone through the following:
5 DUI/DWIs,
a couple stints in rehab for booze,
numerous abortions and baby scares,
a stolen car,
3 colleges (and nay degree from any of them to this day),
a series of drug related addiction problems,
adultery,
a proven allergy to maintaining stable employment,
my nephew being born (and the father being a complete and total dead beat who has yet to pay a dime in support),
foreclosure on her home 3-4 times and having to help pay her way out of it,
probation violation and a 3 month jail stint,
and (my personal favorite)...reports of 72 hour hippy drug parties in the woods with her trash friends and their young kids all around .


Now....the worst we got for you so far is.....well this...just a BK? That's it?? You think you, child #2, could shock me with just that?! As in you think I CAN be shocked anymore, or even have the ability ?? You aren't preggers or nothing right? No?? Then that's just money...who cares? Everyone has money problems in this economy, even us. We support you 100 percent"...

All that worrying for nothing Hope this makes someone out there giggle....

[Peeps]

Yay BKlooker, good for you!!

I just broke the news to my parents last weekend (well, two of them... two more to go) that I'm considering BK. I also have an issue with severe anxiety and wondered (obsessively) how they would take it. Before I could even lay out the whole issue, they were chuckling and agreed that it comes down to a business decision. 100% supportive. I guess it's a bigger deal to us than it is to them.

And your parents are right... in the grand scheme of things you're doing pretty darn good! Maybe it doesn't feel like it at the moment, but you're making good decisions for yourself & your future and what parent could argue with that? Congrats on taking such a courageous step.

oh and yes... thanks for the giggle... "proven allergy to maintaining stable employment." Classic!

[keepsmiling]

What a relief! Thank goodness for supportive parents-- mine have sent over a few care packages of food....

[Freddy03]

I told my mom. She just said do what you need to do also.

But I'm scared to dealth if my inlaws find out. I don't think I will ever tell them...lol

[AngelinaCatHub]

I told my mom. She just said do what you need to do also.

But I'm scared to dealth if my inlaws find out. I don't think I will ever tell them...lol

Get it over Freddy. Sooner or later they will know.

BKlooker, you are blessed. I could tell you 'stories' but I will spare the others by not doing so. LOL.

You have great people. 'Hub

[Panacea]

I'm so glad I told my Dad. He's a tough, hard man, who I thought would be so disappointed in me. I didn't blurt it out all at once. I gave "hints" that I was having issues with paying bills. Then after I tried to modify my mortgage, and they said no, I told him. He suggested just letting the house go, but I mentioned that won't help with the other crap. Then he just said "You have to do what you have to do" and I'll help you anyway I can in the future".

Had my mom still been alive (died 5 years ago and we were best friends), she would've known my issues before it got so bad...I told her everything. When she died, within 6 months I sold my 1st house, bought this one and traded in my car for a more expensive one. Then the credit card debt started.....hmmmmm....maybe I should've seen a therapist instead!

Me and my Dad never were really close emotionally, but when the shit hits the fan, and he can try to "fix" something...there he is!

Come to think of it, this crisis has made me realize that sometimes there is a silver lining in the cloud. Just when you think you're all alone, you find that certain people in your life have had your back the whole time and that forgiveness is possible.

[mommi2many]

My mom is very financially stable ,but it was she who suggested that I file bk. She had me total up my bills so that she could possibly pay them off, but once she found out the total, it just wasn't feasible for her to do it. She's a retired widow and taking her retirement money to bail me out would be foolish. I was totally against bk, but once my mom suggested it, I looked into it and it just made sense and felt good that I had her support.

[stormy]

My boyfriend suggested I file BK first then once I told my parents the situation they agreed 110%! They've been totally supportive and have noticed a HUGE change in me since I filed. I'm not living paycheck to paycheck, worrying if I'll have enough money for gas for the week and I actually have spending money again!

Loved your post BKlooker; it did make me laugh!

Sue

[olivies]

It's funny -no matter how old we get we always want our parents' approval and to make them happy. The great thing is, no matter how old we get they always love us unconditionally.

[BKlooker]

Yes I am always going to be a 'fridge-magnet' kid...likes to run home with the A+ test and have mom post it on the fridge cause she is proud.

With all my worrying, I didn't even factor my rogue sister into the equation and how the land hand already been plowed quite a few times over on the shock factor for my rents. I’m 27 with no kids and 2 degrees (including a Master’s) and an excellent/prestigious job, and I’ve never had any problems with the law or the like, so I guess I am not as bad off as I likely feel.

And yes she is allergic to work....if she works too hard for too long (say, 3-4 weeks), she fears her whole body will just explode into a million particles all over the place. Her solution to this these days seems to just be to make as many children as possible so that she can continually claim to be a 'stay-at-home-mom' while my idiot brother-n-law (who also has chronic work allergies, 1 prior child from another marriage, and a gambling problem) foots the bill.

These two got it in spades…they recently bought a $10K time-share….neither of them has ever owned property in their lives and they are a family of 6 living on $75K a year with 1 very old car (sister can’t even drive it…license suspended for 2 years for a DUI), but yea a time share….grreeeeeaaat investment…wtf??

I feel much better now that I have my family behind me. My parents agreed we would simply tell everyone else we short sold the house because I need to save some cash as I am considered doing some traveling down the road, and decided renting would be best for a couple years. That’s all anyone else needs to know anyway, cause my finances are my business, and my grandmother would worry herself to death if she found out.

[oregonpilot]

I still haven't told my mom. She probably would understand though. Didn't want to ADD to her stress.
This spring ( shes in N MN) she fell on the ice and broke her leg (shes 82) and my brother & his wife moved in to HELP. WEll my brother and his wife are STILL there. She's thinking they lost their house but are not telling her. She keeps asking them and the answer she gets is, we don't want to worry you.
Worry is all she is doing. about 5 yrs ago when my stepdad died, they put moms house solely in my brothers name.
Talked to her this morning and she said ACH, my "house guests" are still here.

My daughter and her hub filed a couple of years ago and i remember her being afraid to tell me. NOW, shes helping me get through it.
A new slant on the "what goes around, comes around"

[researchnerd]

We've told my parents and my sisters, and they are all supportive. One of my sisters has filed Ch7 in the past, and the other is living on the edge, paycheck-to-paycheck. DH decided not to tell his parents, because they would just worry about us. They're in another country and dealing with other family drama, so he didn't want to add to that.

[ccsjoe]

Bklooker,

I'm glad you had such a positive experience. Unfortunately for us, we have nobody to seek the "approval" of so this board has been it for us. My parents are overseas and do not understand our economy, my wife's parents are estranged and (they think) we do not know where they are...funny though how all the bill collectors that call us looking for them end up finding them real quick...hehehe.

[Freddy03]

Get it over Freddy. Sooner or later they will know.


'Hub

I hope not...LOL

They are extremely judgemental and we wouldn't hear the end of it.

[ELBKnow]

We told my wife's parents cause they went through one. I kept not telling mine. But when I did? They just said "sounds like a smart move right now."

They're great.