A Banner Day (with mixed feelings)

[lfllffl]

Well, I woke this morning, and before I even left bed, logged on to Pacer to see that I had in fact been discharged yesterday...

Yea! Right?

Is it normal to still feel so much insecurity?

Relief, definately. But I've been plagued today with thoughts of, "should I have given up my house?", "would chapter 13 have been better?", "How long until the shame of being in this position is over?"

Do I seem ungrateful? I'm really not - just still scared. I thought maybe the fear would magically disappear today, and it hasn't...

[debee]

Change is scary. Now you're in the post-bk part of your life. First day of the second chance.

I can't say what's normal because I'm not there yet. I just wanted you to know someone was listening.

[mommi2many]

I haven't been discharged yet, but I think this whole process is scary and so what you're feeling is probably right on target. Hopefully, someone who has been discharged already will chime in and give you their insight. I'm sure those mixed feelings will subside and elation will set in. I wish you nothing but the best on your new journey without all the debt.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Well, I woke this morning, and before I even left bed, logged on to Pacer to see that I had in fact been discharged yesterday...

Yea! Right?

Is it normal to still feel so much insecurity?

Relief, definately. But I've been plagued today with thoughts of, "should I have given up my house?", "would chapter 13 have been better?", "How long until the shame of being in this position is over?"

Do I seem ungrateful? I'm really not - just still scared. I thought maybe the fear would magically disappear today, and it hasn't...

Your feelings are normal. You have come this far, only days now to your total freedom. Now lets address your concerns. C13 is not a new start. It is difficult and in my opinion indentured servantcy. It is also expensive and for people who cannot 7 but cannot get away from bankruptcy. It is a cruel way out.

Your duty when discharged is not to repeat what got you here. You have no reason to be shamed at all. Your wisdom in itself proves this. Your decision is simply a business one and one of realization that you must make life corrective action. So what is wrong with that?

Our discharge took far longer than yours and much more difficult. Use us as example of real jerks when it came to doing this bk thing. You have not had a hard time, but to you, of course, it was hell.

Remember, all good things come to those who wait. Check PACER only once a day. Let it go from there. Your hamsters are taking your number now and will soon give you your "Victory Dance". 'Hub

[AngelinaCatHub]

Mrs. just informed me that I misread your post. I took "yea Right" as a NO. So, as promised, the hamsters are lined up on your behalf.

A start to making you feel better, as most here wish they were today in your position, I present our Victory Dance:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3894301868978665655#

[telco95]

Yeah, I feel the same way. I got discharged this week, but still have a vulnerable feeling of not knowing what will happen (ride throughs, my CU accts, cell phones, income tax refund, etc..). The relief of stay is lifted, so that's why I feel vulnerable, like my security blanket is gone. I'll feel a lot better in a month if nothing happens and it's just a normal month.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Yeah, I feel the same way. I got discharged this week, but still have a vulnerable feeling of not knowing what will happen (ride throughs, my CU accts, cell phones, income tax refund, etc..). The relief of stay is lifted, so that's why I feel vulnerable, like my security blanket is gone. I'll feel a lot better in a month if nothing happens and it's just a normal month.

If you were missed, from all of us at the Forum. Your deserved Victory Dance.

Things are on their way up. Believe that.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3894301868978665655#

[drowningNIL]

I just wanted to wish you luck moving forward.

I understand your feelings. I am not there yet...just had the 341 last week but the expected relief I see people post about following their 341 didn't hit me either. There's a lot of uncertainty still.

Hope all goes well for you.

[researchnerd]

It's entirely normal to have second thoughts and lingering doubts. I agree with ACH, though -- you would not have been better off with a Ch13. We started down that road and it turned out not to work for us, but even when we thought it did...I wasn't looking forward to it.

Discharge is great! I'm waiting for that myself. But it's not the end until it's Closed, it's really just the beginning. Take one day at a time, tie up any loose ends, continue educating yourself about the process, and protect yourself against the loss of the Stay.

For the sake of your future sanity, work on letting go of the fear and shame. Millions of people are in a similar position and have used the same perfectly legal methods to get relief from a crappy situation. Even my conservative boss, when I told her I'd filed BK, firmly instructed me to hold my head up, saying I had nothing to be ashamed of. Let the wisdom from this experience influence your future decisions, but move on with your life and don't look back.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Even my conservative boss, when I told her I'd filed BK, firmly instructed me to hold my head up, saying I had nothing to be ashamed of. Let the wisdom from this experience influence your future decisions, but move on with your life and don't look back.

A very wise comment and a very nice 'boss'.

Life was never promised to be "fair". We make it what it will be on a daily basis. If you choose to be depressed, you will be. If you choose to make the best of any situation, no matter what the situation is, it will improve. A little or a lot. Doing nothing but feeling remorse of what once was, or what you did wrong (and we all have) does nothing constructive. You have been gifted a clean slate. Use it in enjoyment of what you have, not what you have not. 'Hub

[ccsjoe]

I am just going to say CONGRATULATIONS to lfllffl and telco95! Look at it this way. You all struggled emotionally and maybe otherwise as well to get to this point to make a PERMANENTLY positive change in your lives! You have achieved it! You made a business decision, riddled with emotions, but a business decision nonetheless. Nothing to look down in shame for, that's an emotion....you made a business decision, non-emotional. Numbers don't laugh, cry, feel happy or sad. You decided on numbers!

CONGRATULATIONS on your discharges!

[nekom]

I'm early into this, just retained an attorney, but I can tell you that shame is one thing that has never crossed my mind. Remember this is 2010 not 1940. You're not walking away from money owed to poor gus who runs the bakery, you're walking away from money owed to an autonomous machine of a financial institution who made the business decision to extend you credit and assume that risk. It's just business to them, it should be just business to you.

[AlmostAmos]

Well, I was discharged a week and a half ago and do understand a BIT of what you're saying. I just turned in my surrendered boat today, and I'm nervous about one of the ride throughs that I'm going to attempt (b/c it is with FORD). But, look at it like this - you DO NOT HAVE DEBT any longer. This is a fresh start, day one. Every time you spend a .01, think about it and try to build a successful future for yourself. Nekom was right - this isn't 1940 and you didn't screw Gus. In my BK, I BK'd about 95k of CC debt. But, in the last 4 years alone, I paid the CC companies $65k for almost NO reduction in the principle... God, I wish I would have filed 4 years ago!

[pathfinders]

Telco95

Yeah, I feel the same way. I got discharged this week, but still have a vulnerable feeling of not knowing what will happen (ride throughs, my CU accts, cell phones, income tax refund, etc..). The relief of stay is lifted, so that's why I feel vulnerable, like my security blanket is gone. I'll feel a lot better in a month if nothing happens and it's just a normal month.

The relief of stay is lifted, yes you are correct, Great news is that it has become a Permeant injunction by the federal BK Judge, the Creditors that you discharged can Never ever contact you again,,, Period and end of story, If they ever did they would be in violation of a permeant order and you could sue them!!!!!



Zero worries on that, take a deep breath, Just to let you know we were discharged end of August, we applied for a Cap one credit card, ( rebuilding our credit now) Please note, We only charge a few things and are paying it in full every month, My wife applied and also was approved for a Cap one card.

Baby steps...... the hard part is over, No more 100 calls per day from creditors, Scared to check the mail, and God for bid a UPS or Fedex truck came by our home and slowed down or a sheriff . I was allways looking to be served again and or people coming by our home( Mortgage company to take pictures of your home to make sure it was not trashed,) ( I had fun when the person would pull up in there car and take pictures of the house and I was in the window looking at them , that's for a different thread)


Think of those things and be able to say... No more worries....

[tcreegan]

Hi all,

Is Gus the baker related to Joe the plumber?

I agree with nekom, the large financial outfits of today are money-grubbing machines with no concern for consumers. Their behavior is unconscienceable and they deserve to reap what they sow.

For me the uncertainty of the post-discharge phase slowly passed as some of the loose ends got tied up. No regrets on the BK though, it is strictly business, numbers on paper.

Tom in Colo