Which part is the nightmare?

[got2btru]

Just curious - which part is the nightmare:

The part when you can't pay and creditors are calling you?

The filing?

The date between your 341 and the discharge?

For us, the nightmare has been paying on a vacant 2nd home that wouldn't sell for the last 2 years (we could send both our kids to college with the amount we paid over 2 years)

Since we filed, life has been better since we aren't paying on that. (we didn't have any other debts) Just need to know whether we should be waiting for the other shoe to drop. The filing wasn't too difficult since we've always paid our taxes and have good records.

[tobee43]

this situation is certainly a ride on a roller coaster of emotions!! just to say the least.

for us the nightmare was NOT losing the home we lived in for 33 years...it was packing it up! of course we were downsizing from approx 4500 sq ft of house to homeless....so that did present a bit of a quandary...and i can pretty much say it was a nightmare!!!!

[platter]

My greatest fear is thinking of doing these forms by myself.

[tobee43]

My greatest fear is thinking of doing these forms by myself.

ahhhhhhh platter we have some of the BEST pro se'ers there ever was on this forum......i'm certain they will be right here for you!

[brokejoker]

The incessant phone calls that caused me to unplug our home phone and mute my cell whenever I left the house for when the creditors called. Having my elderly neighbor standing on my porch crying and telling me that we would lose our kids and go to jail if we didn't pay our bills. (Collector called her house, YES I filed a FCC complaint!) Having the sheriff's officer's car pull up twice in a week to serve us with a summons and realizing that no matter how much longer we tried to work it out, we were toast! Those were the nightmare.

Everything from meeting the attorney on has been great. Sweet relief! The 30 day extension on our time for objections kind of sucks but I figure there are no grounds for anyone to object so we just have to be patient for a little while longer.

[AngelinaCatHub]

You have brought up a difficult question. I think it is different for everybody. There is one common denominator, whatever is bugging a person the most builds up to trigger enough pain for the realization to break through the ego. Once the realization that you have gone too far on your own and need relief, then it breaks into acceptance it is likened to having a real painful tooth pulled. It hurts long enough to become intolerable then pop, the pain is gone.

Then there comes the stress of the action. Yes bk is no fun for sure, but the journey is not pleasant either. It is not as bad as the build up before "that tooth is pulled". Each step of the bk becomes an arrival. A goal and accomplishment, until the graduation day when Professor PACER gives you your discharge diploma, and a chorus of hamsters sing on your behalf, 'You are free, You are free.'

The next step in putting your "new start" into practice and working on it daily. Never falling back into bad habits that brought upon that "tooth ache" before. It is an ongoing life style change. It can be made into fun if you let it. 'Hub

[tobee43]

You have brought up a difficult question. I think it is different for everybody. There is one common denominator, whatever is bugging a person the most builds up to trigger enough pain for the realization to break through the ego. Once the realization that you have gone too far on your own and need relief, then it breaks into acceptance it is likened to having a real painful tooth pulled. It hurts long enough to become intolerable then pop, the pain is gone.

Then there comes the stress of the action. Yes bk is no fun for sure, but the journey is not pleasant either. It is not as bad as the build up before "that tooth is pulled". Each step of the bk becomes an arrival. A goal and accomplishment, until the graduation day when Professor PACER gives you your discharge diploma, and a chorus of hamsters sing on your behalf, 'You are free, You are free.'

The next step in putting your "new start" into practice and working on it daily. Never falling back into bad habits that brought upon that "tooth ache" before. It is an ongoing life style change. It can be made into fun if you let it. 'Hub

easier said that done...we still feel like someone is breathing down our necks daily. we were just so use to the stress and pressure it's hard to let go...

we are trying!

[artgood]

I think the days before we retained an attorney, and this stretch between the filing and the 341 are the worst.

[ccsjoe]

The nightmare for us was the realization that the worst case scenario would come true if we didn't take swift and decisive action. We found ourselves with a pregnancy scare without insurance because we couldn't afford it. Two months later we filed. I've always said, when the need to strike arises, do so with overwhelming and devastating force. That's what BK is to creditors.

[tobee43]

The nightmare for us was the realization that the worst case scenario would come true if we didn't take swift and decisive action. We found ourselves with a pregnancy scare without insurance because we couldn't afford it. Two months later we filed. I've always said, when the need to strike arises, do so with overwhelming and devastating force. That's what BK is to creditors.

here here!! i'll toast to that!! we approached it HARD but SLOW...but hit with a force that left dust in the wind... sounds good!

[researchnerd]

The most difficult part of the whole process, for me, was losing our home. We'd only lived there a couple of years, but we truly put our hearts (and lots of hard work) into our simple little house with a barn, on five acres of pasture. From the day DH and I met, it had been our shared dream, and we really thought we'd realized it. Even when DH got laid off, we thought we'd be able to keep it going, but when the layoff turned into longterm unemployment, we had to let it go. Moving (and re-homing 45 chickens) was a pain, but it was harder just to...not be there any more.

The creditor calls sucked, and communication with our attorney has been a challenge. Having an AP filed at the last minute was disappointing. But since we filed, I think the most difficult part has been the waiting -- for discharge, foreclosure, and repo of my car. We just want it all to be over and done so we can move on.

[debee]

I'm sorry you lost a home you loved, researchnerd. I hope in the future the two of you have a new dream come true & a new home that you come to love even more.

[pikaroth]

I think the days before we retained an attorney, and this stretch between the filing and the 341 are the worst.

That's it for me. While I have my attorney, they cannot file until the end of January or early February. The second I decided on BK, as recommended by everyone here and my attorney, I stopped using my credit cards and, of course, stopped paying on them. I've said it a billion (yes, that much!) times, but I've never missed or been late on a payment, not EVER. So this past Friday when my first bill came do, and I did NOT pay it, I was sick to my stomach, disgusted with myself. It got better as the days went on, and I have yet to get a phone call or anything, but I know they are coming. I've been advised to not answer any of their questions save for tell them I'm going through BK and to give them the name and phone number of my attorney. Nevertheless, that part has been hard, even more difficult is knowing I can only sit here and wait until I file. And wait. And wait. It's a hopeless feeling. I wish I could file immediately but, again, I had to go out and use a CC at Publix a week before I met with my attorney, and they advise it has to be at least 90 days CC free before filing.

So, I come here and read posts and post my own stuff for support.

[tobee43]

That's it for me. While I have my attorney, they cannot file until the end of January or early February. The second I decided on BK, as recommended by everyone here and my attorney, I stopped using my credit cards and, of course, stopped paying on them. I've said it a billion (yes, that much!) times, but I've never missed or been late on a payment, not EVER. So this past Friday when my first bill came do, and I did NOT pay it, I was sick to my stomach, disgusted with myself. It got better as the days went on, and I have yet to get a phone call or anything, but I know they are coming. I've been advised to not answer any of their questions save for tell them I'm going through BK and to give them the name and phone number of my attorney. Nevertheless, that part has been hard, even more difficult is knowing I can only sit here and wait until I file. And wait. And wait. It's a hopeless feeling. I wish I could file immediately but, again, I had to go out and use a CC at Publix a week before I met with my attorney, and they advise it has to be at least 90 days CC free before filing.

So, I come here and read posts and post my own stuff for support.

we waited almost 2 years to file.....change your phone number to an unlisted one...if that makes you feel better.....or i'll meet you over at the publix and we can check out the steaks we can't afford to buy anymore...LOL!! (but it HAS to be the one on 27 because it's better than the ones on 50)

you'll do just fine pika!! hang in there!

[researchnerd]

debee, thank you so much for your kind comment. It hasn't been an easy road, but there are many people here who are in much worse situations than I am. I am so grateful for what I do have (great family, my job, health) that focusing on what's gone seems pointless. And I love your signature line!

pikaroth, you may not want to tell creditors that you are planning to file BK before you actually file and have a case number. Others have posted here that doing that made some creditors file judgments right away instead of waiting and negotiating. Get Google Voice (free) and send all unknown calls directly to voicemail. If you have to talk to them, I'd just tell them you are having trouble keeping up for whatever reason, you intend to pay them as soon as you can, but can't do it right now. That should buy you a little time. When you do file, yes, just give them your attorney's phone number and the case number if they ask for it.