So, I think I found my lawyer...

[Panacea]

just need the funds to pay him, which I think I can swing by begging!!

Anyway, I felt great yesterday after seeing him, then woke up at 3am this morning obsessing about everything.

I'm sorry if there are already threads on this (I guess I'm just too overwhelmed - I can't seem to find what I'm looking for), but wanted to ask a few basic questions before I talk to him again.

First, what I know I'm doing...

Giving up the house....underwater, and will have issues keeping up on payments. Don't want to go back to where I am today in debt. The lawyer said they start action in 3 months, but I keep seeing people have over 6months if not more in their homes. He did say that would be the quickest scenario, but I'm still concerned - want to have some money so I can rent after this nightmare is over.

Car...I paid it for this month. I'm leaning towards keeping it. Only 3 years left at 461 a month....I can do that....BUT, my dad offered me his 2nd car to use FOR FREE! Thats great, but how do I give my car up without just being repossessed. I don't want to walk out one day and its gone! I'd rather try to do it "respectfully" if that makes sense?

Home owners assc fee - is it true I must continue to pay this?

CC's - this will be the first month I have never paid on time, let alone not pay at all. Its really stressing me out.
---On that note, how long till the REALLY come after me? Again, I want to have some money saved so I can live again.

I'm really having some HIGH ANXIETY about not paying mortgage and cc's. It just doesn't feel right, though I don't have the money to pay so that sorta makes me realize I just may be on the right track and have to go BK.

I would like to try to drag what I can out, to try to get a security deposit and months rent up front. My lawyer advised for me to stop paying house, car-if I don't want it, and the cc's. He was calm cool and collective. I, on the otherhand, am the total opposite!

LET ME ADD - My house, and cc payments were all current, so this is the first month that they will not be paid.

Thanks for any input...

[ccsjoe]

Good for you in taking the first step. Glad you feel better, it does get easier with time.

House: Yes, three months is rule of thumb, however in this economy it is not rare to see that date slip by several additional months. This is out of your control and can not be accurately predicted, do not stress over it.

Car: You can just make arrangements with lender to drop car off at dealer. Some accept that. That way you're not waking up to an empty parking spot.

HOA dues: As long as your name is on title yes, you are on the hook and liable. Discharging the mortagge does not take your name off title, so you will continue to be on the hook for it until bank forecloses and an instrument is recorded.

CC's: Really depends. Same story with us, never late, etc. This was our first ever missed payment. Most of them did not call until the third week of being late, all in-house collection calls, polite, respectful. BofA actually only called twice, Amex once, Citibank was more persistent at 3 times, but still all almost pleasant, credit union never even heard from them other than a "you're late" notice in the mail. By the time we filed we were not even 30 days late with any of them. I know some others here whose experiences are vastly different. But given that you're in a similar position to mine, I think you'll be ok for the first 30 days or so. Then they'll start getting more intense.

Anxiety: Yeah, it was troubling for me to miss the first payment. Up until the date due I had my finger on the mouse ready to click that "make payment" button. It gets easier. Think about why you're doing this, big picture. Put things in perspective. Listen to your attorney. You're going through this once, he goes through it with every one of his clients. Take a deep breath...and do not click that make payment button.

[Panacea]

Thanks! I laughed at the "do not click the make payment button".

I'm gonna check about dropping the car off. That makes me feel a bit better. I'm safe this month since I paid for Sept.

Drag on the HOA, but its doable once all this other stuff goes away.

I was gonna ask about child support, which I receive, but found my answer.

I just did the means test...made my salary the highest its been in a month (when I do overtime) and looks like I'm chapter 7 for sure! I'd have to work 24/7 to make it!!!

I'm just gonna keep breathing, hopefully sleep sometimes, and muddle through.

Thanks again.

[ccsjoe]

Thanks! I laughed at the "do not click the make payment button".

I'm just gonna keep breathing, hopefully sleep sometimes, and muddle through.

Thanks again.

Read this thread, it'll hopefully make you feel better.

http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.php?t=60310

[DebtHater]

If you voluntarily turn in the car you need to determine how much is left on the note. If you owe more on it than it's worth the lender may come after you for the difference. Example: if you owe $10K and the lender auctions it off for only $8K, you would likely be responsible for the remaining $2K. You may be better off looking up the Kelly Blue Book private sale value and try to sell it outright.

[HakunaMatata]

I experienced similar anxiety and conflict related to not paying bills. Like many, I had a history of flawless payments and I maintained a fallacious relationship betwen money and morality. Unfortunately, I didn't immediately heed my attorney's advice and I continued to pay creditors. Hindsight is 20/20. My money was spent unnecessarily. Thankfully, lessons continue...money and morality are not intrinsically connected.

If you're truly heading down the BK path, stop paying creditors NOW. Those few small payments you make prior to filing will not serve you well and they have insignificant benefit to your creditors. Still not convinced because you have a contractual ("moral") obligation to pay? Well, BK legally removes this.

As you begin to unravel the relationship between money and morality, it's important to remind yourself that your intentions are not malicious (big picture...your lack of payments to banks will not cause them great harm or collapse). Our government encourages trial and supports error/change. This is precisely why legal tools such as bankruptcy and foreclosure exist.

You're preparing for change; and, change can spur anxiety. As you move through this legal process, you will likely discover your anxiety was unwarranted. You're consciously creating a fresh start -leaving the burden of debt and obligation behind as you carry lessons forward. You have an opportunity to jumpstart your financial future. Embrace it.

[HakunaMatata]

If you voluntarily turn in the car you need to determine how much is left on the note. If you owe more on it than it's worth the lender may come after you for the difference. Example: if you owe $10K and the lender auctions it off for only $8K, you would likely be responsible for the remaining $2K. You may be better off looking up the Kelly Blue Book private sale value and try to sell it outright.

Your deficiency description is true; however, this doesn't apply to BK situations. BK removes your deficiency obligation provided the car isn't reaffirmed.

[ccsjoe]

Your deficiency description is true; however, this doesn't apply to BK situations. BK removes your deficiency obligation provided the car isn't reaffirmed.

Exactly, so negotiate a drop off post bk or discharge.

[Panacea]

Your deficiency description is true; however, this doesn't apply to BK situations. BK removes your deficiency obligation provided the car isn't reaffirmed.

Exactly, so negotiate a drop off post bk or discharge.

I'm sorry, I'm confused....functioning with very litte sleep. (but thanks for the answers)

BK removes the deficiency, but drop the car off post BK?

What if they come get the car before BK is filed?

I did pay for this month, so Sep 30th will be the first one missed. I can't file till lawyer paid in full.

[Panacea]

Read this thread, it'll hopefully make you feel better.

http://www.bkforum.com/showthread.php?t=60310

Btw - thanks for the thread. It worked!

[ccsjoe]

I'm sorry, I'm confused....functioning with very litte sleep. (but thanks for the answers)

BK removes the deficiency, but drop the car off post BK?

What if they come get the car before BK is filed?

I did pay for this month, so Sep 30th will be the first one missed. I can't file till lawyer paid in full.

They can repo the car anytime you stop paying prior to filing. Even after filing, they can move to lift stay to repo property if payments are not kept current. I'd keep making the car payments if you so can not live without knowing when they will take it.

[neverlearn]

Pana, I know times have changed and all creditors are different, but after I filed BK in '93 it took Nissan Acceptance Corp 9 months to come and repo my 24K truck.

I also this last year went though a loan mod and I lived mortgage free for 8 months prior to going into a trial payment plan. Even if you do not reaffirm the mortage with all the foreclosures, pre-foreclosures, short sales and auctions, banks are very busy. I am sure will have more than 5-6 months of no mortgage payments before any action is taken...