How long before you filed and why?

[tay666]

I'm not sure what to say to my kids when I put my 'foot down' and say no we can't get that. They are 15. I don't think I'll tell them we are bankrupt, but I do want them to know I'm watching spending more closely now. I don't want to put our problems on them now. They don't need to worry about 'losing the house'. They should be concentrating on being a kid. What do you tell your kids as you are buckling down.

thank you

I think a lot of that would be based on how much info they had on finances up until this point.
Our kids always had a pretty good idea of our financial situation.
We never had a lot of money. So they understood that everything was a trade off. If they wanted this, then we wouldn't be able to do that.
So they were involved all along to a certain extent.

When things got bad, I just told them. Sorry, we can't do this, and you won't be able to get that either. They understood things were tight.
My daughter really understood, as she was never really about having stuff.
I took her to a concert in August of 08 and she understood that meant no presents for her birthday at the end of October. She would rather have the memories of the concert than a bunch of stuff for her birthday that would soon be forgotten.
My son, while understanding was a bit more affected. He was always about having the latest styles, the newest games and movies, etc.
He adjusted though.

Just remember. IF you don't have it, you don't have it.
Get used to paying cash for everything. And when you run out, that's it until next pay day. It's easier to say no, when giving in means not having food in the fridge.
The kids may whine and cry about how their life will be ruined if they don't have such-and-such. But if you make up for the lack of stuff with more time, and doing actual stuff with them, it can help with the transition.
And depending on the kids, it could actually help them prepair for entering the real world in a few more years.

[tobee43]

Originally Posted by 2bdebtfree
I'm not sure what to say to my kids when I put my 'foot down' and say no we can't get that. They are 15. I don't think I'll tell them we are bankrupt, but I do want them to know I'm watching spending more closely now. I don't want to put our problems on them now. They don't need to worry about 'losing the house'. They should be concentrating on being a kid. What do you tell your kids as you are buckling down.

thank you

NO...simple, yet direct.

[2bdebtfree]

Thank you

I did charge a down payment on a cruise for all of us in January. The cruise isn't until April of 2011. I cancelled the cruise and today actually emailed the agent to put it back on my credit card. I explained to the kids "I know you are probably disappointed but we really can't afford the cruise" They seemed disappointed at the time but now I think they are over it. I told them my mom will rent a cottage next summer for two weeks on the beach down the cape and we'll stay there. They are fine with that. I told them each they could bring a friend. I don't give them everything they ask for anyways. I'm on the road teaching the kids about sales, and coupons and especially the clearance rack.

My daughter works now at the supermarket and she loves to go the mall. I'm trying now to teach her to put some in the bank and budget the rest of her money left for whatever she needs. makeup, when they take a walk to the corner store - how much she'll spend there, etc.

I think they understand somewhat. We will just have to cut back a bit more and hopefully I'll be able to teach them what I didn't learn when i was younger.