Lawyer Files this week ... Sort of Stunned

[Phillymanhere]

[pepperoncini]

Well done, phillyman. Thanks for sharing your experience!!

[nervous1]

Thanks for your story. I'm just starting out....BK never crossed my mind until a couple of weeks ago.

I have to ask - you say you haven't made your cc pmts. in two years - what action have they taken

[ssmdem]

I see alot of my thought processes in your writing as well. If you had asked me just three months ago if I would file for bankruptcy, my answer would have been no. In fact, our first visit to an attorney, I wasn't really looking for answers on how to file bankruptcy - but what our other options were, because "we were not in that bad of a situation." Well, turns out we were. The attorney - although I didn't like him and know I would have been unhappy with him had we retained him - point blank said, "Bankruptcy is in your future. There is no other way out short of a huge inheritance or winning the lottery." I left there in tears, but it made me realize that we really were "in that bad of a situation." After coming to grips with the fact that we were going to lose our home - which was the only thing that was really troubling me - I've actually slept better. It killed me at first to think of leaving here -- now I'm so ready to be gone. Amazing how things can change in just a matter of three months. We're staying to take advantage of the "free rent" for now, but I'm so ready to be somewhere else that I can actually afford with no other bills weighing me down.

[Adventura]

Phillyman--nice post. And I wholeheartedly concur with what you said about experiencing a new sense of freedom once you realize that "keeping up with the Jones" is no longer important. Yes, there are thing I want that I really do not need, but when I remember the oppressive weight I felt from all that debt, I find that my desire for the sillier things in life recedes significantly.

Good luck with your case.

[mrskal]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have not filed yet, hopefully in a few weeks after I get all the papers together for my lawyer. I too, never thought that we would do a bankruptcy! My husband said it for the last couple of years, we are gonna have to, he said. I thought no way, we only have $18,000 (now at 15,500) in CC. Not bad at all, compared to other people I know. So I thought! All we were making was going to bills. I have not used a CC in at least 18 months, what an aweful thing to think about. I am paying for stuff I probably dont even have anymore. The house was what did us in. interest only mortgage, underwater, Heloc. I must say, I have learned a ton on here, and it has only been a week or two! I have been in this house with my daughter only for close to 6 months, putting off the inevitable, and finally realized I need to get on with my life no matter what. I am grateful that we will be able to do this, and it really was a weight lifted off my shoulders, and I am sure my husbands too, once we decided this was in out best interest. Who cares what anyone else thinks. For me, now, the real work begins, getting all the papers together. What a chore, but it must be done. This whole experience has already made me change for the better. Good luck to all of you, and I should probably stop obsessing with reading, like I have been for days, and get on with what I need to do.

[Adventura]

Wholehearted agreement with Mrskal and Phillyman--it is such a huge relief to finally acknowledge that BK is the only way forward. I was in a terrible state for YEARS because I felt that all I was doing was working for the CC cos. For the first time in a long time, I feel hope for the future. And as for that whole "keeping up with the Joneses" silliness, well yes, I still find myself wanting things I do not need. But then I remind myself of the oppressive weight that comes from living beyond my means, and the desire evaporates.

[justagirl]

Phillyman,

Thanks for posting this update! It sounds like you've already made some changes in your spending behavior, so you are on the right path.

Congratulations on taking this step to "financial freedom." Good luck to you!

~JAG

[Phillymanhere]

Thanks for the comments and support, guys.

Nervous, you ask what actions my creditors took over the past two plus years after I stopped making payments.

Well, for the first year or so, they made lots of phone calls. I use a cell, and I started to put my phone on silent most of the time. The pain was that some of them called me at work. My office mates would say the phone rang constantly. That was a pain, but ... I early on realized I needed to not feel guilty or ashamed or getting these calls. I owe creditors. Well, that's true! ... I just refused to shame myself any longer. I told my office mates just to hang up when they got a call.

In the past 6 months, the volume of calls has really relented. This is funny in a way. I think a turning point in the calls was when I got my money together and started to fill out the bk forms for the attorney. I called each creditor to ask how much I owed, etc. I think creditors know that when you call them to ask for the amount you owe (not only are you not avoiding, you're seeking them for info), I think at that point maybe they suspect a BK filing is coming soon. (By the way, I don't think I needed to do this. I could have just pulled my free credit reports and they had all this info. But I did need a few addresses, etc.)

Because I had done a ton of reading and because I had met with attorneys early on, I didn't stress over the calls in terms of legal action. I figured the cc companies would conclude that trying to squeeze money from me was futile ... I just don't have it ... And I knew I could come to this board and ask for help and guidance if someone took action against me.

Phillyman