Overwhelmed - Please Advise

[ssmdem]

anyone else feel relief once they decided they were going to definitely file?

IMMEDIATELY!!! Finally saw the light at the end of a very long dark tunnel. Glad you're feeling better.

[SNC]

hey kirby... and just to add to what the others have said in this thread, i have read that it is wise to enlist an attorney in the process of settling debt due to it being a quite complicated and messy process.

your situation seems pretty similar to mine (i also have about 80k in cc debt), although i of course do not know all of your circumstances. you may really want to consider bk since you are so over your head in debt, unless you have the money up front to settle. my attorney actually helps some of his clients settle debt as well, and he always tells them to plan for settling for no less than 50% in case that would be the biggest "discount" you would receive. and he suggests that his "settle" clients budget to be able to pay that settled debt within 2-3 years. he said if you can't handle to pay that much of a settlement within the 2-3 year time frame, then to not go the settlement route but rather the bankruptcy route. but again, this was advice that was directed to my situation... so i don't want to paint a picture that my situation is exactly like your's.

have you spoken with an attorney regarding your situation?

[SNC]

thanks ssmdem!!

[keepmine]

Just to address the poster that wanted confirmation that there is no tax liability on debts discharged in bk.
Go to the IRS website and enter form 982 in the search function. It'll clear up any questions you may have.
Also, nobody will negotiate a settlement until you're in serious default.
In my case at about the 150 day mark {from the date I last paid anyone} Cap1 offered a 50% settlement and Chase offered a 45% settlement. Both were unsolicited and I really didn't ask for any details since bk was my endgame.
This happened in 05 if that means anything.

[offthewall]

Good for you SNC...You are going to do just fine....even BETTER than fine!!! This forum has helped me tremendously, as I have been feeling weird about the whole bk thing....I stopped making my cc minimum payments in June....the calls have started, but because of this forum, I am able to put my phone on 'vibrate', ignore all the strange numbers and carry on. Because of deferring my cc payments, I have now been able to buy healthier food, a couple of summer clothing items (have not purchased any new clothing in about 2 years!) and even a small birthday gift for a friend that has helped me so much through these years of working to just make the minimum payment. I am pre-planning my bk, so have moved to a place I feel comfortable in for the next few years, got a new car (didn't really want to get rid of my old one, though) and am saving to pay balance remaining to my bk attorney and get some needed dental and eye visits taken care of!!! I am almost feeling human again, and I won't even be filing for several months (for 6 month look-back...was working 2 jobs to cover rent, bare necessities and minimum cc pmts!!....2nd job GONE now...I'm exhausted....thank God it's gone!). It will be great to get it all behind me and then start building my credit back again...in the meantime, this forum will help me through and I am human (as compared to zombie) once again!!!

[dmu]

Met with my lawyer today for the first time in person! I am so confident in my decision to file for bankruptcy now... thanks to my lawyer's advice and to all of you on this site... this site has helped me greatly talk through my reservations over filing. now i'm just ready to get this show on the road and be done with it!!! Thank you again everyone!!!!!!! I feel like a million bricks have been lifted off of my shoulders. anyone else feel relief once they decided they were going to definitely file?

Glad you're feeling good SNC. I wish you a speedy discharge and wonderful new beginning.

[Cristo]

That's so great! I'm glad you got a good lawyer and can get your show on the road! I felt relieved too once I knew I was going to file. I felt even more relieved once I fired the first laywer and got one that would actually fight for me!! My case is complex though because I'm over the median income, you should not have that problem. I wish you smooth sailing!

[dmu]

this forum will help me through and I am human (as compared to zombie) once again!!!

Welcome back to life offthewall! I, too, am planning a bk. I met with a lawyer in June and initially wanted to file in August. After meeting with the lawyer, I kept thinking I wish I'd done things differently to get the most I could out of bk. Unfortunately we'd made a little too much to make Chp 7 a slam dunk and we had become current on all our bills (though it's a losing battle in the end). At the same time, I have a brand new baby and a husband that's working all day, 6 days per week. Then my husband tells me that he wants to go back to school before his GI bill expires. So we start looking for alternative employment for him so he can work and go to school. Unfortunately, I was busy with the baby and he was working too much to have time to properly look for another gig. My husband prayed that we'd receive a breakthrough.

I thought the breakthrough would come via a more flexible job for my husband. However, the breakthrough came via thought. I thought to myself, you have too much income to qualify for Chp. 7, your husband hates his job he wants to go back to school, and he hardly gets to see his new child because of all his hours. How do you solve this? The answer....have husband quit!!!

So now we're working on a 6 mth plan to file bk. This will probably be my husband's last month working for his current employer. He will trade in his job for school and the monthly stipend that the GI bill provides. This will fulfill my husband's wishes as well as reduce our income for the 6 mth look back. After my lease is refinanced we'll stop paying on our cc's and our current residence. The savings will replace my husband's income and we can move into one of our rental properties so there's no harm in letting the house go.

I've also asked my husband to change his benefits since we've had a qualifying life event. He can go back and max out his flexible spending account and get the lasik that he's been wanting for years. This is the upside of the "use it or lose it" feature of flexible spending accounts. We all know that if we leave any money in the FSA at the end of the year then we're SOL..it's lost. However, if you use all the FSA money and then separate from your employer (either voluntarily or involuntarily), you don't have to pay any of that money back even though you're no longer employed by that company and are not being charged the payroll deductions related to the FSA. As one insurance rep told me, the money in your FSA is yours "free and clear" even if you use it and don't hang around to pay it all back.

I've said all this to say that like many of you, I've gone through the emotional roller coaster. I spent two days crying and feeling ashamed because for the first time in my life, I couldn't pay all my bills. After several unproductive and adversarial phone calls with my creditors, my shame turned empowerment as I started to think of myself as a business and make decisions accordingly. I encourage all of us to shake off any shame that we may be feeling and think of how to maximize whatever situation we found ourselves in...no matter how bleak it may seem.

Prior to deciding to file bk, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, the light was from a freight train that was barreling toward me. Now I still see the light but it's the dawn of a new beginning!

Good luck to all my bk buddies!

[SNC]

thanks cristo, dmu and offthewall. so amazing how bk can be a lifesaver... we are very lucky to have this option in america. and i know what you mean offthewall - now i can actually start using the mula that i would have been giving to my creditors, and begin an emergency savings account again for myself (i haven't had one of those in over 2 years). and now i have money to actually go to the doctor and buy some clothes (that i desperatly need)... so yeah, i am really grateful for bk... i am sure i will still go through some of the dumb guilt stuff, but i am hoping i am over the worst of the guilt feelings. this forum has been instrumental in helping me see that i am not alone in all of this and it helps me get over the stigma of bk...

also, it has been an amazing day with my creditors... i haven't paid most of my credit cards (which is what my debt consists of aside from a student loan) in over a year. and i haven't answered their calls in over a year. i prob get 5-15 calls a day from them, it has been so stressful. i always just let it go to voicemail and never pick up the calls. but today, for the first time, i feel so free from them... i was able to answer the phone and calmly tell them that i am filing bk and that they can now contact my attorney instead of me... wow, what a liberating feeling to have them off of my back!!! that was so miserable having them call constantly...