SOOOO nervous

[menpace]

Here is my situation. We are a single family income. My husband and I are in our late 20's, we have three children (ages 5,4, and 4months). On average the last 3yrs we have brought in anywhere from $36,000 to $65,000. Its sad to say I dont keep very accurate records of our expenses, I never really learned too much about that kind of stuff as I have been on my own since I was 16yrs old. I have learned so much over the last couple years and would really love a fresh start the ablity to actually live, to have savings for my children's and our future. Total we have $20,900 in cc and medical we also have our house which we hope to reaffirm. We are in the process of filing for chapter 7 and I am terrified. I just don't know what to expect, I don't want to make a mistake in our decision to file, I don't want to not be discharged. I take full responsiblity for spending at times irresponsibly(going out to eat, cigarettes, buying movies;we dont have cable, and the occasional splurge to buy my children some new toy).We dont have any assets aside from our house which we have less than $10,000 equity in, and our vehicles which are pieces of junk. I worry about allowable expenses because we spend anywhere from $1400-$1600 every month on gas, groceries, baby needs, and cigarettes.I also worry because our lawyer told us to just stop paying our debts aside from our mortage and that is so hard for me to do because for the last 5 years I have never missed a payment was never late even if it meant sacrifice but I also use them every month to live. I don't know I'm just extremely terrified I can't sleep, this makes me feel sick to my stomach aghhhh!!!!

[jlmaca]

You're not alone. I would recommend reading everything you can on this forum. It will help ease the nervousness and give you a better understanding of the bankruptcy process. Like everyone here, you will survive the process and you will have learned a lot and have a better financial future. Read books on budgeting and personal finance. Ask your attorney questions until you feel confident and understand the process. The anxiety you feel is because you are facing the unknown. Knowledge is power. Learn everything you can and good luck.

[ladyjenn]

Menpace, I am right there with you!!! I have not been sleeping and I too, am terrified. We have retained a lawyer, and he seems to think we qualify for Ch 7. We went over some numbers briefly, he asked us some questions, and he made sure I felt comfortable before I left because I had been crying during the meeting. I have thought of every possible worse case scenario and then some. I know that we can't lose the house as we are current as have been (always, on all bills) until the lawyer told us to quit paying our cc's. That was scary, then on top of that we had the creditors starting to calls days after that. I was terrified of the unknown, and still am. We have taken every call and talked/explained to them that we have retained a lawyer and are filing BK. They have been nice, and haven't called back after that. I figure I can talk to them for a few reasons. I figured I owe it to them to take their calls as they are only doing their jobs, and it was my problem not theirs, that we are filing, and I didn't want to make them keep trying to call, nor did I want to have to keep dodging my phone.

We don't have any assets either, as what we owe on our home is about what it is worth. There is only one item in question, and that is a share that my DH has to a cabin, that if sold, would get $5k. Other than that (which we really hope that can be protected with the Federal homestead exemption (since we have nothing else to protect except our vehicles which are already covered)) we have nothing else.
We are in our mid 30's, 2 kids and a middle class family. We have tried taking consolidation loans out and it seems that everything we do, just puts us further back, instead of helping us. It is like, no matter how hard we try, we just keep going backwards. I think that is what scare me the most. We can't do any worse than filing BK. I fear that something will happen after we file (that is just our luck) and we will need aloan and not be able to get it. We live modestly, and I have sacrificed a TON of stuff to make sure the bills are paid. I am just tired of the game, and I think that is why we decided to file. I would wake up on Sunday morning and not want to get out of bed because I knew that was the day I would pay bills, and I dreaded it!!! I don't want this kind of stress anymore! I still fear that people will find out, and as far as that goes, I feel like a failure and feel shame, even though we have made no big purchases, just 20 years of credit. In reality I lost my job of 13 years in 9/2008 and was able to get another job after 6 months, but it was a $3/hour pay cut, plus bonus loses. So we are now making $15,000 less that what we made then, PLUS all our interest rates went through the roof (not because we were delinquent, but because the Pres. allowed that to happen, before he said it can't happen after a certain date). So yes, I feel bad, but this is life and we have this protection, and I feel I deserve it. We have neve bene on welfare and have always tried our hardest. Sometimes, life jsut throws curveballs. Heck I even quit smoking after 24 years, 3 months ago to try to save MORE money. Yes I am glad I am not smoking, but can't believe it at the same time. That is determination, since smokes we like my BFF! LOL

Anyhow...didn't mean to hijack the thread, but really needed to write it all down for therapy and to let you know you are now alone. Hang in there, we are all here for support and are going through this together..... Thanks for letting me vent, and I hope it helps you a little bit to hear my story.

[menpace]

Thanks, for the support. I have spent hours on this forum since I found it so far it has been very helpful and informing but also scary to read some of the hiccups of chapter 7. Ladyjenn thank you for your story it does help to know that we arent alone in this process. I will be praying for you all the way. I too have never been on welfare or any other type of government support. We really had never been in too much debt until my first born. She was 2 months premature and I had a stroke after delivery due to eclampsia, followed by postpartum. We didnt have the best medical and even the little things we weren't prepared for( I had just turned 21) so we started juicing up those credit cards. I also feel ashamed, embaressed, and very unstable right now. They say this is a life changing decision, I just hope its for the good in some ways. So far our lawyer is fine I guess, however I'm not overly comfortable with him(he seems very cold and not so compassionate) although he ought not be I guess being that I have got myself into the matter at hand. I'm not sure if we qualify or not, he said it seems like a pretty simple case but nothing in life is simple or I wouldn't be here in the first place. I just have went over every worst case scenario over and over and OVER. My biggest question right now is is $20,900 enough debt to qualify for chapter 7 when you make $60,000. Not that 60k is alot when you have three children and all the normal day to day bills, Honestly its not that much period. Sorry for rambling and thank you again for your responses and encouragement.

[jacko]

Why are you going to file BK on $21,000 debt? That makes no sense. Way to little debt. You are collection proof. I would stop paying on debts for at least a year and offer a 20% settlement.

BTW: If any of your creditor files suit and gets a judgment, your first $2220.83 of net income is exempt from garnishment.

Seems your lawyer wants his fee.

Here is my situation. We are a single family income. My husband and I are in our late 20's, we have three children (ages 5,4, and 4months). On average the last 3yrs we have brought in anywhere from $36,000 to $65,000. Its sad to say I dont keep very accurate records of our expenses, I never really learned too much about that kind of stuff as I have been on my own since I was 16yrs old. I have learned so much over the last couple years and would really love a fresh start the ablity to actually live, to have savings for my children's and our future. Total we have $20,900 in cc and medical we also have our house which we hope to reaffirm. We are in the process of filing for chapter 7 and I am terrified. I just don't know what to expect, I don't want to make a mistake in our decision to file, I don't want to not be discharged. I take full responsiblity for spending at times irresponsibly(going out to eat, cigarettes, buying movies;we dont have cable, and the occasional splurge to buy my children some new toy).We dont have any assets aside from our house which we have less than $10,000 equity in, and our vehicles which are pieces of junk. I worry about allowable expenses because we spend anywhere from $1400-$1600 every month on gas, groceries, baby needs, and cigarettes.I also worry because our lawyer told us to just stop paying our debts aside from our mortage and that is so hard for me to do because for the last 5 years I have never missed a payment was never late even if it meant sacrifice but I also use them every month to live. I don't know I'm just extremely terrified I can't sleep, this makes me feel sick to my stomach aghhhh!!!!