new, sick and need help

[snuffy]

Hi to everyone. I am grateful for this forum and apologize for not being able to read through all the previous posts. I have some serious health issues and am not able to get online too often. I thought I handled our finances well (put money aside for savings, had retirement accts, have health insurance, life insurance, etc). I had to stop working over 6 months ago due to my health issues (I had a nonprofit corporation). Though I have health insurance, it doesn't cover everything. We are not able to survive on my husband's income alone. I've applied for Social Security Disability, however that may take 1-2 years I've heard. I have put a lot of medical bills on a credit card. I've spent our savings and cashed out our retirement, the only thing we have is $20,000 in a TSA. We have one car paid off, but it's not going to last another 6 months. Our other car is not yet paid for. I feel like my only option is to apply for another credit card(s) and pay for my medical bills, rent, utilities, etc with the credit card(s). Unfortunately, I don't see how we'll ever have enough to pay off the credit cards, so will likely, at some point, have to file for bankrupcy. I can't believe I'm even thinking this way, but I don't feel like there are options. I physically can't work. I've cut out all the extraneous expenses (phones, cable, gym membership, etc). I've also sold a lot of stuff on ebay. I have anxiety attacks about our financial situation daily and wish I could see a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't. I hate the thought of filing bankrupcy, but the stress of not being able to keep us afloat is contributing to my poor health and honestly, I feel like the stress is killing me. I hate to sound so dramatic, but I can't eat, can't sleep and throw up several times a day due to the stress. My husband leaves me to deal with this and refuses a second job and won't talk about this. He is opposed to bankrupcy, but he doesn't propose any other solutions. I am crying as I type this because I am so completely overwhelmed and though I'd never kill myself, I can see how someone could become so despondent that they could make that choice. The combination of being broke, being in constant pain, feeling horrible all the time, having no support from husband, having no support system due to isolation (due to illness), etc can be a perfect recipe for thoes deep dark thoughts. Again, I am not suicidal, but can see how someone could be. I'm open to any thoughts or ideas anyone has and appreciate (in advance) any responses to this. Sorry it's so long. Love, snuffy

[nerves]

Snuffy - hang in there! There is light at the end of the tunnel. It may not seem like it now - but there is. First, stop worrying about the creditors. Spend your energy on getting well.

As for bankruptcy, you may want to put it off until your health is better. No need to rush to file and accrue more medical expenses you will not be able to pay for after you file.

Depending on your state/financial support, you may be able to file alone without your husband. I am assuming all the debt is in your name. This may eliminate some of the stress from your husband and not wanting to file. It will all depend on the financials of your situation and if you are in a community property state or not.

As for the vehicles, there is an exemption which allows you to keep your vehicles if the value are within the exempt dollar amount.

Bankruptcy is a business decision just like it is a decision for our medical care system to gouge you ever which way and the credit card companies raising their interest rates to pad their pockets.

I am sending well wishes to you.

Nerves

[sofarsogood2]

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I assume you handle the bills, since it sounds like hubby wants to remain oblivious to the train wreck that seems to be coming.
You need to be on the same team. You need to find a way to make him "get it". It took me about a year to convince mine- and about six months before that to convince myself. Hubby tried- worked more and more, (and so did I) but he finally came to grips with the situation. I absolutely hated bringing up the subject. I think once I knew enough to discuss it in detail- the process, likely outcome etc., he listened more. I had to lay out the senarios for him for our future, our childrens future. I had to say here is what will likely happen if we don't BK, here is what will likely happen if we do. I had to show him that in the long run, we would be much better off.(and pray I was right- which I was )
I know you are ill, but noone else can do this but you. Perhaps if you show him your post? Ask him to please read the forum- ask some questions- so he can help you decide what is best.
If he is really stubborn, I'd hand him the bills and tell him to handle them. I'd give any collectors his cellphone number. But seriously- try having a calm, rational, informed discussion first.
I wish you the very best! Hang in there!