Do you ever think that you are getting away with something?

[Mensa1]

The guilt and sadness can either overwhelm you or they can propel you forward. If I won the lottery tomorrow would I make sure that my creditors were paid back every cent? Absolutely. However they aren't total losers in this deal. They have collected enough interest from me over the years to lessen their blow. And they got a bailout, which somehow they felt they were entitled to. Now I have no choice but to feel that I'm entitled to take mine.

I have thought about that very question Lulabelle, and the answer that I have arrived at is this. If won the lottery I would pay each one of my creditors 10% of what they were due and I would donate the balance of what I owed, X 2, to a number of deserving charities. I think we have an obligation not to squander opportunities, so if the Man upstairs bestows that priviledge upon me I will not place the monies in the creditors hands for them to waste; (bonuses, extravagent trips, etc.). Just how I feel about it.

[blessed]

If I won the lottery tomorrow would I make sure that my creditors were paid back every cent? Absolutely. However they aren't total losers in this deal. They have collected enough interest from me over the years to lessen their blow. And they got a bailout, which somehow they felt they were entitled to. Now I have no choice but to feel that I'm entitled to take mine.

The CC companies also get a tax write off, they probably don't care that I'm filing.

Also, someone else posted this blog awhile ago that you might like (I really like it) especially this page. http://hopeforthebankrupt.blogspot.c...blessings.html

[weRN2deep]

I felt that way until one of my major creditors reniged on our contract despite my excellent credit, paying all monies due per the contract, and having never been late with any payment to any creditor. After numerous failed attempts to get them to abide by their contract, I became part of a class action suit (which will net me almost zero) and filed BK. Do I feel guilty? Suppose I might, if it weren't my tax dollars paying for their federal bailout. Sad part is they would have gotten paid, just like they always justed to, on time and in full.

I could have written this post. Was it by chance a company that rhymes with famex? It was for me. After they did what they did, most of my others used universal default to do the same. I missed not one payment and was never late.

[LALADY]

No, mine was not Famex. My contracts (4 cards with same co.) were 2.99-4.99% fixed for life at 2% minimum monthly payment. When Obama decided to go after cc companies, they played their games b/4 the rules went into affect. I believe there are 4-6 different class action suits going on against my particular creditor. I've only joined one suit.

[lulabelle]

Yep, the credit card "reform" was one of the nails in our coffin, too. Our credit limits were cut (which was fine), but that tanked our credit score and our minimum payments were going through the roof. Pair that with a pay cut and likely layoff in our future=bankruptcy.

Mensa1 - you are correct, that would be a much better use of lottery money. So many charities need it much more than the credit card companies do. I felt absolutely sick when I read about JP Morgan's record multi-billion dollar profits. They are not hurting a bit.

[ItsJustMe]

Nope. I feel like I got jacked LOL.

We didn't have a lot of consumer debt. Our home is a money pit and way more than we should have taken on (though it is a modest home by most standards). We have an expensive mortgage, and some credit cards/accounts related to the care and keeping of our home. We have struggled for years to keep our heads above water. I was laid off. Our CCs started DOUBLING our minimum payment due. That was the end for us. Not a damn thing we could do about it, and I don't feel even a little guilty. The payments doubled, I couldn't afford them, I was left w/no option.

[LSUTiger32]

I, too take full responsibility for my actions that got me into this mess. The guilt is horrible. It's also horrible to read what other people say about those who file bankruptcy. How it's the "easy" way out (none of this has been easy, and I guarantee it has taken years off of my life), and it's equal to stealing. This was not a choice I wanted to make, and in some ways I am still in denial that it's even happening to me. My husband works three jobs, I had two and we still weren't getting ahead. Could I have made better choices years ago and not been in this mess today? Absolutely. But I've had to come to terms with the fact that looking back will not change today. Now I am being given a chance to change my tomorrow and I'm taking it.

I am Christian, so there has been that internal struggle to deal with as well. However, part of being Christian is asking for forgiveness (which I have pleaded for over and over) and then accepting that I am forgiven and moving on.

The guilt and sadness can either overwhelm you or they can propel you forward. If I won the lottery tomorrow would I make sure that my creditors were paid back every cent? Absolutely. However they aren't total losers in this deal. They have collected enough interest from me over the years to lessen their blow. And they got a bailout, which somehow they felt they were entitled to. Now I have no choice but to feel that I'm entitled to take mine.

Great post and a lot of my feelings, except for the last two sentences. It's not their fault that our government has become socialists. I also didn't feel entitled to anything. The guilt still eats at me, and motivates me to do the right thing from now on every day of my life. It was an expensive lesson, but I am coming out a much better person.

[btbeme]

I am Christian, so there has been that internal struggle to deal with as well.

As am I - here is a link to a great blog that suggests an answer for you: http://www.arizonabankruptcyblog.inf...d%20bankruptcy

[BCA2009]

An observation I have noticed is that generally the people on this forum that feel the quilt and question the ethics/morality of BK, tend to be the newer members who are just entering the BK process. It appears that the people who have been in the process longer or have completed their BK have come to realize that they should take emotion out of the equation.

I know this doesn't apply to everyone, but seems to be the norm. It would be interesting to go back and read some of the early posts of forum memebrs who have been on here a long time, I'll bet a number of them have changed their opinions of BK as they do more research and evovle thru the process.

[Tman]

I too am struggling with the question as to just how can I justify bankruptcy. I am still struggling with the question and have not filed yet. I too am of split mind on this matter. On the one hand, it is a simple business decision and one that is absolutely logically justifiable based on simple math. My business has tanked due to the economy and my income is now a third of what it was. I have tried to work with the CC companies, but only one or two are willing to reduce the interest and accept small payments until things turn around or I find another career. The rest are playing hard ball and want higher interest plus late charges plu overlimit charges. I also have figured that over the years I have more than repaid my debts with the interest I have paid. I also see how the banks got a bail out but I am left to whither on my own as I am self employed. On the other hand, I feel a responsiblity to live up to my obligations. I feel like a cheat and a fraud, even though that was never my intent. I wonder if I file if I will ever be able to hold my head up in public or be crushed by the guilt I feel. I hope that more people will post on this thread. I've read many posts which have given me food for thought. I think my biggest hurdle is that I used to be one of "them". I managed a finance company and handled collections including bankruptcies, garnishments, repos and foreclosures. It makes me sick to be in the position that I am but yet I am in that position.

[Jamescott]

I just made my first post so I will add to the discussion.

Now that I've decided to file, I realize that I felt more guilt and remorse as my finances were about to crash. I struggled, fought, stressed and panicked trying to stay afloat. Now that I've hit bottom, and realized bankruptcy is inevitable, I feel relatively at ease. My only concern now is that the process goes smoothly.

[Dannmcg357]

I got taken advantage of and locked into a 30 yr over priced mortgage for a home that was worth less than a third of the mortgage. I had no other way out than BK, none. Do I feel bad? So bad that I want to @#$@#% the people who put me in this situation. But I guess I’m one of the very few people who is not filing BK because of cc debt. I thank God and the law makers of this country for having the foresight to afford me a way out of financial slavery.

[tmoschetto]

I filed and am still awaiting discharge, and each day I alternate between feeling guilty and feeling relieved...very, very relieved. I spent the last 3 years trying to stay afloat, and at every turn, the CC companies were yanking my interest rates and minimum payments, even though I had never been late and always paid more than the minimum. I can't tell you how many calls I made begging the CC companies to just work with me -- leave my interest rates where they were (2.99% to 4.99% instead of the 29%+ that they jacked my rates to because they could. I just never knew that was in my contacts with them -- that they could change the rates like that. I mean, I always knew if *I* did something wrong in paying late or going over limit, I would've expected it, but out of the blue, across the board, seemingly arbitrarily to just triple and quadruple my rates just because they could?!)

One night in tears I just put my sad state of affairs into a spreadsheet and saw that there really was absolutely no other way out. I just thank God that there was the option to file for Bankruptcy!

I think something that helps a bit with the guilt that anyone would feel is the promise you make to yourself that you will learn from the events that lead to the eventual decision to have to file. I was taught you pay your bills, live within your means, etc. I have since learned that if you're not paying cash, the terms can change (along with perhaps your job or health situation) and even if you've done everything right, the rug can be pulled out from under you. I will never be the same after this, but I guess that is for the best.

I wish everyone going through this the best -- life is too short for the worry and stress, shame and stigma this whole situation involves.

God bless us all!

[meateater]

I'm more than five years post-discharge of an uneventful chapter 7. I was stupidly naive, fell into the trap of using credit cards for everything (to get those "rewards" points), had no idea what I owed, looked at the credit advance checks that the credit card people used to send out as a good way to consolidate my debts. I don't feel bad for the credit card people as they obviously made a business decision to lend to me - it should have been obvious to them that I was a terrible risk and likely to go under (it only became obvious to me in hindsight).

But I feel bad about my role in this, I should have known better, and didn't. Did I "get away" with something? The only reason I have savings, paid off student loans, retirement accounts and a high credit score is because I got rid of the credit card debt in bankruptcy. I feel guilty that people as foolish as me with credit who "did the right thing" by trying to pay it all back, perhaps trying even longer than I did, are in a worse financial situation than me.

I wonder about how to make amends, and if I should try to pay back the credit card people (but I am worried about somehow legally reviving the debt and the interest, so am still researching it). I'm worried about what people will think about me when they find out and need to figure out how to deal with those feelings. Intellectually, I don't think I got awat with anything, emotionally, I still feel that I did.

[MarieT]

I think this is tough for all of us.I am the one handling the BK, and the thing I feel the worst about is dragging my husband down through this as he has always been so proud of his "pristine" credit.

I am still interviewing attorneys but really close. What makes me sick is that we might not be in this position except that we were forced to pay a huge chunk of an IRS debt in the last year in order to get it down to 25k so they would put it on a payment plan. So I missed house payments and cc payments in order to do that. Now that our credit is ruined it makes more sense to just do the bk and we have no choice but to file BK or the cc companies will sue and garnish and do what they do.

I had lost my job, had surgery then complications and about died then came out of all that with the IRS threatening to put a lien on our house and garnish wages. So I look at this that I am paying all these taxes so that the government can bail out the banks and they keep making more and more money so no, I do not feel that I am getting away with anything and I do not feel guilty about it. I cannot even count the number of nights that I have been lucky to get one or two hours of sleep as I have been worried sick over all of this.

I initially thought we might be able to settle but realizing that would only get rid of about half of our debt it does not make sense. After talking to the attorneys and being told that we would be a good candidate for BK if we even owed 30% of what we owe helped me be more realistic. There have been articles and proof given that credit card companies have planned and plotted for years to keep everyone in debt so they can make money endlessly off the debtors who will never be able to pay the credit cards paid off. One of my cards had a minimum payment of $330 with $260 being interest...that is just evil!