Stress and BK

[tightgrip]

OK . . . so after long consideration we have decided that BK is the only way to go. Monday we retainned our Attorney. We quit paying everything this month except for the car we plan on keeping. Now for all of you in this situation or that have been through it what was the hardest part of the BK. I know that before BK was hard just trying to get by with everything stacking up - late fees and overlimit fees and past dues. So after that decision to go on what seemed to be harder? I know we are ready to hit the repo stage prolly in the next month or two? Since I am unsure of how each creditor works before they come to get their secured things back? But after repo then we just wait till filing approx 4-5 months from now then is it hard just waiting or was the hardest thing actually commiting to the BK? Im getting everything together saving pay stubs and bank statements and getting the last 4 years of tax papers together. I have 4 months to prepare but is this first stage actually the worst mentally for you?

[calgirl67]

I think most will agree the worst and most difficult part is coming to the realization you NEED to move forward and file BK. For our family, the rest has been much better 'cause now we know where we are heading and can plan our life and start afresh. Especially for my husband - the day we had our draft petition meeting with our attorney was a huge weight off his shoulders. He feels better about the whole thing now.

On another note, what are you expecting to be repo'd??

[HakunaMatata]

For me, the most stressful aspect of BK was deciding to file. Logic momentarily escaped me and I was consumed with "what if" scenarios. Thankfully, I found this remarkable forum and heeded the sage advice of its contributors (and my attorney). Stress eased after filing. My 341, like many, was anti-climatic and my discharge arrived quickly. The BK process, once initiated, was smooth. I had a few life hiccups along the way...which I successfully tackled. Business-minded focus prevailed, stigmas were uprooted, and I've regained my financial footing.

[BrokeOR]

It is a huge negative on the psyche to finally admit you're insolvent and need bankruptcy protection/discharge of debts. Coming to the conclusion is a lot like navigating the five stages of grief. Yet, once you truly get to acceptance of your situation and decide to file, the weight is lifted. You're moving forward. And, as long as you have a good handle on why you're in this position (mortgage too big? income dropped substantially? got caught up in living beyond your means? combo?), you can move forward with the certainty that this is your chance to right your ship.

Pre-prep is definitely my biggest stressor during the process (putting it all together with a lawyer-not even filed yet), combined with contemplating the as-yet-unknowns. How much longer will I have before foreclosure notice? How much longer after that can I stay where I'm at? Are my expenses within justifiable, allowable limits? How will I move forward with a place to live after I file? How do you save enough money to get a place to live, without seeming to the court like you have too much and get kicked to a 13? And on and on.

I find that deep breaths and frequent calls to my lawyer (his law clerks are the best!) helps. I have to remind myself daily that I have retained help so that I don't have to play "junior lawyer". I find that any question I have has a simple, substantive answer that helps ease my mind and gets me through. I have put aside my control freak in favor of a true relationship with the people who know my situation and exactly how to get me through it.

[DeadManCrawling]

Agree with previous posters-the paperwork and the uncertainty were my most hated moments. Once you are armed with knowledge, it gets easier.

Once you look over the paperwork, it gets easier on the soul. When I realized we had paid almost 600k on debts that originally were 300k, I got angry. We were still upside down in every sense, not just the house, and owed more than we did at the beginning. Creditors had received 300k or more in interest, which I consider criminal.

When you realize they are always looking for ways to snare you and enslave you for the sake of profits, it is hard to not get angry. Lifetime indentured servitude at the hands of criminals with computers and ghastly accounting principles. Enough to make me gag.

After those realizations, filing was easy. Very easy.

[tightgrip]

CalGirl67

We are stopping payments on a toyhauler and a second vehicle.

[momisery]

The hard part was filing. We fought it for a longtime, kept tapping our savings and 401K accounts thinking it will turn around. We had a lot of stress, at the time hubby was laid off, he found out he had COPD, my hours were cut, we knew we would lose the house, and we are a long ways from GA where we owned a rental house, so we had no control over what was happening to it. Add that to my Fathers colon Surgery and his wifes quad bypass.. Things are better now going foward, but I never cut myself a brake I guess I will always feel a bit horrible about having to file. A stigma thing I have imposed on me I guess. And I worry about jobs when we move. But, still the hard part was giving up. After we did I found out it was easier than fighting a losing battle.

[liz417]

The hardest part was coming to the realization that we had to file for BK, there was no other way out. As many others have stated, I NEVER thought I'd be in this position when I've always maintained a 780+ credit score Then came the "saving up" for the attorney fees (it took us a year, filing ch 13 at that time so the attorney fees were much more)...I couldn't wait to just get filed and be DONE with the BK!

[thereshope]

The hardest part was getting out of the denial that I could no longer pay my bills anymore and that I needed to file bk. Now that I think about it, it was like having an addiction in a way, and my addiction was I needed to pay my bills.

Cheers to you in making the first step in your journey.