What a bunch of jerks !

[ned2010]

LOL @ pacific blue. i love it!

What I wanna know is, was the chick's name REALLY Merchurka???????

Yes it was, and she really flew off the handle when I would not agree with her to change my monthly payment on her so-called Its your lucky day Ned, I got a deal for you. She kept shouting and carrying on and then she got her supervisor.

[PacificBlue]

Thanks all, as you can tell I kind of a smartass. Here's how the call went today but my wife was home this time. I think they heard her laughing in the back ground. (this is actual the conversation).

Phone ring
Me: "hello"
Auto computer: "Please hold the line for an important message about one of your accounts".
Me: It hit me there and then how to play this one: "hello, hello"
Person came on: "Hello this is blah, blah, blah, calling in regards to your blah...
Me: (I cut her off) "hello"
Person: "hello this is blah, blah (like she was reading off a card, saying the same thing)
Me: (I cut her off again). "Hello, please be advised I am hearing impaired. Speak slowly, clear, and directly into the phone".
Person: "H-e-l-l-o'?
Me: "I'm sorry, you will have to speak up, I'm hearing impaired".
Person: "Are You Able To Hear Anything"?
Me: "I can hear when you speak slowly and into the phone yes".
Person: "I-S (W-I-F-E'S N-A-M-E) T-H-E-R-E"?
Me: "No my (wife's name) is not here, I'm her husband may I help you"?
Person: "I'm calling from (bank that holds one of our cards) to make arrangements for a past due account". (in a normal voice and fast paced).
Me: "This is her husband may I help you"?
Person:"T-H-I-S A-C-C-O-U-N-T I-S P-A-S-T D-U-E"
Me: "Thank you, her appointment's at two, whats this appointment for? I'm writing this down, so please.... .
Person: (This time she cut me off and you can feel the frustration) "N-O! T-H-E (bank card) ACCOUNT IS PAST DUE, AND WE NEED TO MAKE ARRANGEMENTS FOR A PAYMENT TODAY"? (I picture her sitting in a cubical annoying her co-workers, or at least getting their attention).
Me: "I'm sorry, this isn't fun for me either, please be patience. I'm hearing impaired and you must speak slow, and clear".
Person: (Even louder then before, and you could tell she was losing her consecration): "I-S Y-O-U-R W-I-F-E T-H-E-R-E"?
Me: "I already told you my wife's not here, I'm hearing impaired not blind, please don't make fun of me".
Person: (She blew (yeah blew) loudly into the phone and said): "CAN YOU MAKE A PAYMENT TODAY?".
Me: "yes"
Person: I hear her take a deep breath: "WHEN".
Me: "What did I win, is this about my wife's appointment, or something I won"?
Person: "Mr (my last name) This is not a joking matter, we are attempting to collect on a past due amount or we are going to send it to collections".
Me: "Why wont you speak so I can hear you, I told you I'm hearing impaired and your are making this conversation difficult and upsetting to me. Would you like to speak to my wife"?
Person: "YES" (you could hear the excitement in her voice like she hit 777 on a slot machine).
Me: (now, this is where I kind of I laughed a little, and I think she may have heard me) "Shes not here right now, but I can take a message".
Click......... phone went dead.. she hung up.

Less then a min later phone rings.
Me:"Hello"
Person: (its a man this time): Your making matters worst for yourself (and quoted something about harassing them) and said this conversation is being recorded".
Me: "Hello, please be advised I am hearing impaired speak slowly, clear, and directly into the phone. Is this is the same person that called a min ago"?.
Person: "if you want to keep up this serenade, fine you can speak to our law firm as we are handing this over to them now".
Me: "listen, I know you are saying something, but I just can not hear you. Are you aware that harassing some one that is hearing impaired on the phone is illegal, and we record all our calls?"
Person: (now he speaks up). "WHAT IS THE MEDICAL CONDITION WHY YOU CAN"T HEAR"? (he about blew my ear out he was so loud).
Me: "I can hear when you speak slowly and into the phone thank you. Why do you want to know my condition, who are you"?.
Person: "IM CALLING FROM (bank name) AND THIS IS OUR LAST ATTEMPT TO MAKE AN OFFER NOT TO SEND IT TO COLLECTIONS".
Me: "I'm sorry What was the 2nd part of your question"?
Person: THIS IS (BANK NAME) now he is losing his consecration)
Me: "oh, I'm sorry your from (bank name)".
Person: "yes".
Me: "hello?"
Person: "YES".
Me: "okay, what is it you want?"
Person: (loud, but in a lower tone) "We need a payment and quoted a dollar amount"?
Me: "hello?"
Person: (I knew this was going to be loud, so I held the phone away from my ear) WE NEED A PAYMENT FOR THE AMOUNT OF $XXXXX"
Me: (you can just imagine everyone in the office looking at him) "yes"
Person: "is there a western union/bill pay close by you".
Me: (I have no clue what that is, so I just said..) "hello"?
Person: "IS THERE A... NEVER MIND, WE ARE SENDING THIS TO COLLECTIONS".
Me:" You know, I have tried to be nice, and explain to you I'm hearing impaired, yet you continue to harass me. I'm filing a complaint and using this taped phone conversation as proof".
Person: "I'M SORRY THIS IS UPSETTING TO ME AS WELL".
Me: "It's too late for apologizes, you have upset me and are harassing me".
Person: (this guy was back peddling like he was going over a waterfall in a canoe). "I PUT DOWN FOR THIS ACCOUNT ALL CORRESPONDENCE WILL BE DONE VIA MAIL (under his voice, but I still heard him say.. "assuming you can read" OR ONLY SPEAK WITH (MY WIFES NAME) WOULD THAT BE OKAY"? (is this guy an idiot? I told him I was recording the conversation, and he makes a "assuming you can read" statement)
Me:"If you wanted to speak with my wife, you should have just asked. There was no need to carry on like you did. So, would you like to speak with my wife?".
Person: (in a very happy voice he said) "SO SHE IS THERE"?
Me: "No, but I can take a message for her".
Person: "thank you, good by".
Click:............

[BNKRPTinNC]

PacificBlue,

Two side splitters in two days. Keep em coming.

[NanaOf11]

OMG PacificBlue, I needed that!! Thanks

[iv65536]

Me? I thought sending them to an outgoing message consisting of a telephone company recording stating that a coin deposit is required to complete the call, followed by the noise the phone makes when it is left off the hook too long, would get them to get the message.

[Chucksoutalu]

Now thats funny!! It made my day

[bkpain]

way to give it back to'em!

[CCsAreEvil]

Would be funny if you had some type of audio device in the background that simulated "beeps" for phone recordings so it actually sounded like you were recording the conversation.

[PacificBlue]

Actually the phone conversation was recorded. (my memory wouldn't hold that much info). We set up our phone last year to record calls (Radio Shack $19.00) because when one of my doctors would call my wife (when she wasn't here) wanted to hear everything they were telling me. (eat this, do that, don't do this blah, blah).

I have a wonderful marriage, so I say this with all the love... My wife and I have a perfect relationship of trust and understanding.... she doesn't trust me or understand me.

[CCsAreEvil]

Ah ok. I thought you were doing that as part of the "bit". So, does it actually make the beep noises? I know in some states, it's required by law.

[PacificBlue]

Nope, no beeping unless it hits the end of the tape. (yeah, it's the old style tiny tapes).

I wont have anymore until about January 3 or 4th. We are taking off for two weeks in the morning. Christmas Vacation!! YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

[ecsclb1724]

I think there are people out there that enjoy that sort of thing. Kind of like the people that volunteer to be code enforcement officers..They just love to harass others and be in a position of power over others. Probably a large number of college students too, just trying to pay their way through school and a job is a job.

Oh well, I enjoy messing with them. It's not too often that I get to just talk over the other person in a phone call. That's what I've started doing with all of these people now. I just don't let them talk. I figure if they can't get a word in, then they can't harass me.

think the hall monitors in high school

[goneunder]

There is nothing better than givin it back to them, If it's a long drawn out speech I sit there and let them ramble on blah, blah, blah when they finish I say nothing, they say hello and I say oh I am sorry I was not listening what did you say? It's good fun. They usually butcher my last name so they will ask for Mr. whoever, not even close to how you pronounce it and I say nope nobody here by that name, bye.

[gonein60]

sound like she was working for acorn

ha ha ha ha

[Amy26]

My favorite thing to harass them with is when they call ... hi, may I speak to Amy26? Me: Sorry, she is on the other line right now. them: May I leave a call back number? or something to that effect. Me: yes, please give me your number. them: 800-bla-blah me: no, I'm sorry that's not the right number them: huh? me: I asked for YOUR phone number so I can have her call you back them: Yes, that was the number I gave you. me: No, you gave me a 800 number. I will not be able to reach YOU at that number. Please give me your home phone number so I may call you and harass you when you're eating dinner.

Now, the rest of the conversation after this can be quite entertaining depending on how frustrated the other person is. I had one guy that was this outlandish southern gent and he was like sure I'd give you my home number but my mother doesn't like it when people call...

Use your own imagination for the rest of the call...