Filing For My Mom

[buffee]

In May my Mom had what was supposed to be a Normal Surgery Procedure. Well it left her Perm. brain damaged, unable to breath without a TRACH, never to eat, drink or swallow again.
We have shared a home together for 11 years. I am the DPOA. Anyway it appears that in the VERY near future I will have to file a chapter 7 on my mom's behalf. She has about 33,000 Unsecured Debt.
So far the four creditors have been pretty nice, considering I quit paying them 3 months ago. There just is NO $$$$$$$$$$$, the place shes in is over 5,000 per month & even her insurance & Medi-cal doesn't pay all of it. Citbank, she owes 19,000(she had extra cards for these creditors in my name too, but she was always the primary and I have been told that 1: the debt is UNSECURED 2. I am NOT responsible, even though I used these cards also.
Anyway we have a mobilehome its a 1972, market value probably 30,000 right now...I filed a HOMESTEAD in July just "because"
Her car is an 1989 Piece of *&^%, maybe 500$. Both the mobilehome & the car are in my mom's name & MY name.
Any idea what a chapter 7 will cost??? do they have places speical to help seniors....I'm not one, but I am doing it for my mom and shes 75.
When I told the credit card companies, that everything would be back to normal within 90 days(that was in May) I HONEST TO GOD, believed that my mom would be coming home, apparantly that is NEVER going to happen, ever!
The $$$$$$$ situation just compounds my frustration with the medical situations, and the fact that I am now having to file 3 different mal practice suits because of what they did to a perfectly healthy woman. Life pretty much sucks!

[ForTheBest]

Big hugs to you, Buffee. You're going through so much right now. Just dealing with all the feelings and realities of your mother's sudden health situation would be overwhelming enough, but all the resulting fears about your own security can't help but make it feel even scarier. And since it sounds like you and your mom are close, not being able to talk all this over with her must be so, so hard. For what it's worth, I think you're holding it together really well. It's obvious that you're a very strong woman.

Maybe you've already tried this, but have you spoken with a social worker at your mother's nursing home? They should be able to give you some good referrals, or at least refer you to someone who can. And if they can't do that, they can certainly put you in touch with the elder services agency in your area. Those agencies are usually great and often even have lawyers on board that can help steer you in the right direction.

You need all the emotional and practical support you can get right now, and I'm positive that it's out there for you. Just don't give up until you find it, okay?

[buffee]

thank you so much for your comforting words, means alot to me!

[ForTheBest]

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}

Another place to try... Call and speak to the director of your local Senior Citizens Center. Explain what's going on and ask where/how you can get some help. And if all else fails, call your state's office of elderly affairs and ask them to direct you to the right place for help/answers/referrals.

I know that help IS out there. At this point, it's just a matter of tracking it down.

[Snickers]

buffee - I was just in an eerily similar situation with my husband and I really feel your pain. My husband went in the hospital in June, never to come home again.

In September I had a free consult with a BK Attorney and I suggest you do the same...maybe talk to a couple. At the time, he advised me that although bk by DPOA was legal and possible, he said it never worked. I don't know the specifics but he has been doing strictly bks in this area for like 15 years, so I didn't explore much further.

He advised that since my husband was 'collection proof' (all income from retirement, SSI etc) to just stop paying or talking to his creditors. After 32 years of marriage, everything we own is owned jointly so they can't do much.

Run a credit report and make sure that you are just listed as an 'authorized user' on those cards, print it out and keep it on file. If so, you are not responsible for those debts.

The Attorney said to stop talking to them because some have been known to pull some 'funny business'. Thinking back on it, I believe he meant that some had (illegally) changed the account to joint in the past.

I know the calls can get maddening on top of everything else you are going though, but hang in there.

By the way, you didn't mention what state you are in, whether your Mother has income and whether the home is in just your Mother's name or both. These things make a lot of difference.

Just get a few free consults, you will feel a lot better about your situation.

[SleepWellNow]

I'm so sorry about your mother and what you are going through. The previous posts gave good information...free BK consultation, Area Agency on Aging for helpful information and referrals, "collection proof" income, etc. You may want to set up an appointment with your local Consumer Credit Counseling office. We talked to the CCC regarding our elderly parents' debt and they gave the same info as "Snickers" gave you. They were very helpful in setting us on the right track. Wishing you the best and sending warm regards your way...

[whipster1]

The issue I see are the lawsuits. The trustee will want those potential assets most likely, and they would go to those darn creditors. If all the debt is unsecured I would change the phone number and forget about them until things are more stable. If there is a large settlement for malpractice you can worry about the creditors then.

Remove yourself as authorized user also.

[buffee]

I live in California. My mother's ONLY source of income is S/S
The mobilehome & her vehicle is in BOTH our names. I filed a Homestead, just in case any of these creditors might want to go after a 30,000 mobilehome, BTWm 2 years ago we did a special deal via our home town, wher as the Housing dept. lent us 20,000 for mobilehome upgrades, interest free, never pay it back until we sell. My cities hiousing dept dept is listed as THE LEGAL OWNERS on the pink slip of the mobilehome.
There are three cards: Lowes, Citibank & a health card were I had a secondary card in my name, but my mom was the PRIMARY on all the accounts, infact they wouldn't even speak to me until I provided a copy of the DPOA, since I wasn't authorized to receive the info.
From what I am gathering, even though I am the DPOA, I cannot do a BK on my mom's behalf?
What are these creditors going to turn the other cheek???
If things get any worse, I too will have to file....one myself(again) did it in 1994...I am stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But right now I am more concerned over my mom.....but I am kind of glad that my cities housing dept is listed as the legal owner of the mobilehome, and that my mom & I are the registered owners...I will assume that NO creditor will be able to touch our home...especially since I did the homestead also.
I really appreciate all the help & words of encouragement..sometimes it gets so bleek.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Buffee, as above, I feel for you, also. My heart goes out to you and your Mom.

Basically, your Mom is "collection proof". If she does not own anything, is on SS only and has no assets, I would not worry about her and you doing her bk.

The MH is insignificant in the picture, but if you are both "homesteaded" you have nothing to worry about. I would attempt to clear any part of your name on any cards. You are probably fine in only being an "authorized user" but PLEASE make no purchase at this time on any of her cards. That could invoke an ownership, even if you have a Durable Power of Attorney.

I believe you have a full understanding by your very informative and well written thread. I also pray that you will be blessed, as I believe you are, for a successful situation. If you DO file a bk on your Mom's behalf, another poster sited that it could be claimed in bk. I would attempt not to file for her (being collection proof) and get one of these shark lawyers on contingency to get the malpractice suit. Then you might settle your Mom's situation as well as any extra expenses for you. (I'm not a lawyer) this is only my personal opinion. GBWY. 'Hub

[Snickers]

Well, they can't get blood from a stone, although they will try.

A 30k home with a 20k government lien sounds pretty safe and they can't touch her SSI so I'd say let them pound sand. There is nothing they can take from your Mother and it is not your debt.

As hard as it is to disassociate yourself from your Mother's affairs, you have to do that with these companies. They (and the collection agencies) will try to make you feel guilty. They will play on your emotions and your feelings of responsibility toward taking care of your Mother's affairs. But the fact is, it is not your debt. Don't let them convince you that you have to pay it.

About the DPOA BK thing: I'm in Maryland and that statement was just my Attorney's experience. Lots of things change state-to-state so YMMV. Get a free consult or as SleepWellNow suggested, talk to someone at a local Consumer Credit Counseling Service (they are free). And just talking to an outside party helps you to put things in perspective.

Get a cheap cell phone, give the # to only friends & family and turn off the ringer on the landline. You have a lot more things more important in your life about right now than a bunch of CC debt.

[buffee]

To be perfectly frank....these companies have hardly bothered me at all. when they did call, and ask to speak to her, I explain that she is perm brain damaged, unable to speak, eat, drink, swallow or breathe without a trach. This pretty much makes them "speechless"
I already have a FREE GOGGLE phone number to give to any...."die hards"
I just printed off her very long esperian credit report, I haven't had time to read it yet.
thanks again

[buffee]

Just went thru my moms credit report
If she hadn't gotten ill WOW.....all her credit is 100%+ perfect up until these last 3

citibank: 19,159: responsibility: indiviual
CreditCare: 1,947: indiviual
Discover: 5,580: indiviual
ALL 3 : 3 MONTHS PAST DUE

Total: 26,686

[Snickers]

LOL - I know what you mean about leaving them speechless.

When I told one rep from Discover that my husband was in the hospital she asked when he would be home. I said "I don't know. He has been in the hospital for 2 months". She actually asked if I could bring a cell phone to the hospital so they could talk to him!!! I told her it wouldn't do any good because he was non-verbal. Stopped her in her tracks.

Those accounts must not be very overdue if they haven't been calling. As you get towards the 60 day mark, the calls relentless.

[buffee]

I haven't paid for any of them for over 3 months. I do have a question, one card that was my mom's is LOWE'S and I had a card too....I guess they listed me also as a responsible party....I have been paying them all along...the debt is 2,200. Any tips on asking them if I can just pay say 500$ and close out the debt?
The wierd thing is my mom filled out the credit report, I never remember ever giving info about me...but I guess thats neither here nor there. just curious if theres a way to make a deal with them,. becos I have zero cash.....getting 500$ would be a loan from my bFF