I hope this doesn't sound like a pity party. I am so tired of having to be the "strong" one for my family. For the past 19 years I feel like I have carried the financial burden squarely on my shoulders.
When my husband and I finally decided to start a family, he wasn't working except for officiating sports on a part-time basis. He brought two children from a first marriage into the mix, and I brought a child from a previous relationship. Soon after we got together I was pregnant with our oldest daughter. I found myself supporting five people on an income of 22,000 /yr (This was 1987). In 1990 I accepted a promotion that did not work out and I resigned from 12 years of state service rather than to be returned to the hell-hole job I had left. I took a 1000/mo cut in pay just to walk away with my integrity and sanity. I accepted another position at another university for 17,500 a year. In 1993 our youngest daughter was born, DH was working part time for the city where we live, but our bills continued to pile up. We filed Ch7 in 1994 and was relieved of nearly 21 K in debt (mostly medical). Shortly after our discharge my son required 20 K in knee surgery and it all began to snowball from there. Oldest daughter required 2 knee surgeries as well, I was diagnosed with T2 diabetes, oldest daughter has really bad polyovarian cysts and in the early stages of becoming T2 herself.
I really tried to put off the inevitable, even when my DH started working FT for the city. We found ourselves in the payday loan cycle, taking out title loans just so we could pay for the medicine and medical our insurance won't cover. When you are running -300-500 a month and you start running out of Peters to pay Paul's, there really is only one conclusion.
Now, because I have been so blind all these years to the importance of cleaning up your credit and keeping good credit (DH is absolutely no help in this area), we lost two of our vehicles that had title loans on them, we are about to lose our other vehicle to HSBC and only our daughter's car remains. We can't even get a 500.00 loan for a piece of crap. We received our discharge before 722 redemption could get us into a car and our prospects look bleak. My oldest daughter lays a guilt trip on me all the time, my DH scowls at me because we have no other vehicle, and my youngest daughter is so paranoid about our finances that she offers to go collect cans for money.
I put our family on a budget and have tried to stick to that budget. We have money budgeted for a car payment, but every place we have talked to wants at least 10-20% down, even for pieces of crap cars. One dealer insulted us by telling us the only vehicle we qualified for was a 1994 Dodge 10 passenger van with 177 K mileage and our payments would be 350.00!
I am trying to do the best thing for my family, but I feel this condemnation from all sides and it's hard to be strong. And when you are sitting at your desk at work crying, something is wrong.
When my husband and I finally decided to start a family, he wasn't working except for officiating sports on a part-time basis. He brought two children from a first marriage into the mix, and I brought a child from a previous relationship. Soon after we got together I was pregnant with our oldest daughter. I found myself supporting five people on an income of 22,000 /yr (This was 1987). In 1990 I accepted a promotion that did not work out and I resigned from 12 years of state service rather than to be returned to the hell-hole job I had left. I took a 1000/mo cut in pay just to walk away with my integrity and sanity. I accepted another position at another university for 17,500 a year. In 1993 our youngest daughter was born, DH was working part time for the city where we live, but our bills continued to pile up. We filed Ch7 in 1994 and was relieved of nearly 21 K in debt (mostly medical). Shortly after our discharge my son required 20 K in knee surgery and it all began to snowball from there. Oldest daughter required 2 knee surgeries as well, I was diagnosed with T2 diabetes, oldest daughter has really bad polyovarian cysts and in the early stages of becoming T2 herself.
I really tried to put off the inevitable, even when my DH started working FT for the city. We found ourselves in the payday loan cycle, taking out title loans just so we could pay for the medicine and medical our insurance won't cover. When you are running -300-500 a month and you start running out of Peters to pay Paul's, there really is only one conclusion.
Now, because I have been so blind all these years to the importance of cleaning up your credit and keeping good credit (DH is absolutely no help in this area), we lost two of our vehicles that had title loans on them, we are about to lose our other vehicle to HSBC and only our daughter's car remains. We can't even get a 500.00 loan for a piece of crap. We received our discharge before 722 redemption could get us into a car and our prospects look bleak. My oldest daughter lays a guilt trip on me all the time, my DH scowls at me because we have no other vehicle, and my youngest daughter is so paranoid about our finances that she offers to go collect cans for money.
I put our family on a budget and have tried to stick to that budget. We have money budgeted for a car payment, but every place we have talked to wants at least 10-20% down, even for pieces of crap cars. One dealer insulted us by telling us the only vehicle we qualified for was a 1994 Dodge 10 passenger van with 177 K mileage and our payments would be 350.00!
I am trying to do the best thing for my family, but I feel this condemnation from all sides and it's hard to be strong. And when you are sitting at your desk at work crying, something is wrong.
....you go back to the basic and put your trust and faith in a higher power.
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