Chapter 7 and divorce :(

[ready2live]

Does to divorce have any affect on our Chapter 7. My husband and I are talking of splitting up. We did not include our house in the file, but are going to let it go if this happens. I am a stay at home mom and am so scared. If this happens, I want to go out debt free. I have some college but no degree, I would like to go back, but as of now, I will make little money.

[logansdad]

You filed on 8/21 and are approaching discharge early December. Is there a chance that the stress has endured the acceleration of separating? Do yo feel that the two of you could go for counseling and maybe the treasure would be less here in another couple of weeks. This is an increasing stressful time. In my case my wife and i talked it over for at least 4 months before hand and knew that things may be stressful for us but we knew the outcome would be better. She works full time and works 3 nights at a restaurant, she has been for 10 years. We have a 7 year old and she misses being home at night with him. We did this so she could quit and be home, there are a lot of challenges but hopefully you can come out ok.

[NoMoreCards]

We did not include our house in the file, but are going to let it go if this happens.

I am confused by this statement. Your house MUST be included when you file BK, as ALL debts are to be listed. So is it possible, you have reaffirmed the house?

The reason I ask is because if one of you do not intend to keep the house (assuming the possibility of divorce), you will want to make sure your BK paperwork reflects your wishes.

I am sorry to hear about the possibility of a marriage split. I wish you the best.

[JoeBankrupt33]

I personally waited until the BK was discharged until I filed for divorce. I think it makes things easier when you have the BK completed, then you won't have debts to divide.

As for your house, I am assuming that you are planning on not reaffirming, is that right? If you think you are going to divorce or if you think you still cannot afford the house, DO NOT REAFFIRM.

Good luck.

[OhioFiler]

You should seek out a counselor. Best of luck to you.

[ForTheBest]

I don't have any concrete information to offer. Just wanted to send good thoughts and say how sorry I am that you're going through all this. It can't be easy.

[ready2live]

You filed on 8/21 and are approaching discharge early December. Is there a chance that the stress has endured the acceleration of separating? Do yo feel that the two of you could go for counseling and maybe the treasure would be less here in another couple of weeks. This is an increasing stressful time. In my case my wife and i talked it over for at least 4 months before hand and knew that things may be stressful for us but we knew the outcome would be better. She works full time and works 3 nights at a restaurant, she has been for 10 years. We have a 7 year old and she misses being home at night with him. We did this so she could quit and be home, there are a lot of challenges but hopefully you can come out ok.

I completely think this is part of it. We actually talked last night. I mean really talked. We think we both have become just to emotionless and stubborn. It has taken its toll. We have a almost 2 year old and a 4 year old and those ages are a bit stressful also. Since we actually talked and we know what the problems are, we decided to work on it. We have been married almost 7 years and everyone keeps telling my that that is the hardest year.

Thanks for everyones support!

[frogger]

Don't give up on a marriage if it isn't broken. There is such a thing as a seven year itch........

Money problems, lack of communication, a couple of kids screaming, and you have a mixture for disaster in a relationship. It's good that you started talking. Really talking.

See if you can get someone to keep the kids for a weekend and the two of you spend some quality time together. After all, you did marry him for a reason. Perhaps that reason is still there?

[ready2live]

Thanks frogger. The reason is definetly still there. We are truely best friends. We are both 30 and have known each other since the age of 6. Yes, 6. lol Although, no dating till about 24. I think we have just been like robots the last year. The weekend would be great. Or at least just a night....

[AngelinaCatHub]

YES! The seventh year is a tough one. However, if you survive what is commonly called the 7 year itch, or it could be said the 7 year B*tch of a time, you will survive the next 7. Then midlife crisis for men and change of life for women. If you know what is to come, you can watch out for it. The Bible considers the number 7 as a number of completion. It is a number loved by God.

Mrs. and I married twice. Once civilly and two years later, in her Church. To be married in her Church, we both had to attend a pre marital course. It was a good course but the real bottom line of unsuccessful marriages was not infidelity. It was financial strife.

You are curing that financial strife right now. It will still be tough as you are used to a life style that you must throttle back. The most important step you made last night. Reopen the line of communication to each other. Be patient and listen to each other without comment when one talks. Then respond without interruption. Trust me, I've been there and my bad habit was when Mrs. would have a gripe, I would cut her off with a pre answer before she finished. I quickly learned after our troubles that, if I listened, then understood her problem, there were three things I had to decide. One and two, was she or I had a real issue that she or I had to correct in our own failure. The third and most important is 'compromise'. That is the hardest to do since you state both of you are a bit stubborn. Being stubborn is childish. Negotiation is adult.

Mrs. and I wish you well and even more important than your bk, is your marriage. If you really want stress, divorce aftermath will do it. You have two young children. They need both parents. Not child support, not visitation rights, not hate that will ensue afterwords in the form of resentment. 'Hub

[JoeBankrupt33]

I know my first post in this thread viewed divorce/bk from a very cold, business-like perspective. For us, it wasn't the bankruptcy that lead us to divorce, but the other way around (and other things lead to the divorce). I am very happy to hear that you are trying to work on your marriage. In my case, only one person was willing to try to work on the marriage and that doesn't work. It is very important, and it will surely benefit those kids. I have four kids - 3, 6, 9, and 11, and I can't help but think that the divorce has had a huge impact on them.

[AngelinaCatHub]

I know my first post in this thread viewed divorce/bk from a very cold, business-like perspective. For us, it wasn't the bankruptcy that lead us to divorce, but the other way around (and other things lead to the divorce). I am very happy to hear that you are trying to work on your marriage. In my case, only one person was willing to try to work on the marriage and that doesn't work. It is very important, and it will surely benefit those kids. I have four kids - 3, 6, 9, and 11, and I can't help but think that the divorce has had a huge impact on them.

Of course it has. Divorce and no two parents equals a dysfunctional event. However in some cases, if the parents really argue and are openly hostile, the kids suffer even more. My parents were that way and stayed together "FOR US" and I wish they had not. It was hell on earth seeing them in constant battle. Of course at the time we begged them to stay together but hind-sight you know.

I sure hope this couple does mend this situation. It is appearant they love each other. Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall. Prov 16:18

[OhioFiler]

Well now...I've got a seven year anniversary fast approaching. Thanks for all the encouragement friends!