Talk about people getting you down.. vent..

[JoePlumber]

Its your life...

Hey, we all have issues and if your friend pays her bills and isn't having problems thats great, but for her to grill you, she obviously doesn't value your friendship cause a friend would try to understand from your perspective and why you had no options left...ya know try to get a view from your foot steps... its in these times of life ya find out who your friends really are...myself I keep things relatively private and i'm not even telling my Mom, she's the biggest Gossip of all,,, hahaha but it was her telling me to do it that got me going... Just glad she live across the Country...

Just remember, your bills are your business and We all get a second chance, and those CC company's made enough money from you with all those Ontime payments you made over the years... you just deleting part of what you owe.

[momisery]

We are not telling anyone at all. I am embarassed and I feel they would blame my husband for not finding a job. But let them try to find one with car skills, no college degree, almost 60 and sick. Yeah right.

[cupcake]

I am having a difficult time with bk. I have to notify my work due to some licensing I have. I dread the day I have to call him and let him know. I don't have a choice. As soon as I tell him, I am pretty sure other management will know and I will be treated differently or lose my job. I know you are suppose to be protected but they will most likely have my name on a black list when the next layoffs come around. I feel sick and I am having a hard time sleeping at night. Our local newspaper prints all the bk every quarter to top it all off. Anyone else have this type of anxiety?

nerves, I completely understand and was in your position about a year ago. Like you, because of what I do, I had to tell my employer and I was physically sick over it and I didn't sleep for weeks. My biggest fear was that I would lose all respect from my bosses and that they'd eventually let me go over it. In my mind, all I could think was, "Why would they want someone like me working for them; how could she get herself in a situation like this? She is obviously financially irresponsible and we shouldn't trust her."

Guess what? When I finally told them (I told my immediate supervisors) I was treated fairly and with nothing but respect. They sympathized with my situation and offered to help me in any way they could. The senior partner of my firm actually sat in my office and cried with me when I told him what I was faced with and what was going on in my life.

Regardless of their reaction, I am sure that I still would have felt the same amount of relief after telling them. However, the one emotion that I was surprised to have was one of shame. I was ashamed of myself for thinking that bosses would treat me poorly after they had been so understanding and sympathetic. I learned a lot that day and the days that followed - about myself and about the people I work for.

Hang in there, nerves. It is what it is; you can't change the situation. And, you can't control how people react. You can only control yourself and your own emotions and reactions. Keep your head held high and don't be ashamed.

Now... if I could just figure out a way to tell my boyfriend about my bankruptcy I'd be all set.

[fannybfx]

I have kept it all to myself and my lawyer. Friends/family Too judgemental. One day I'll talk with my son....he's very smart he may already know and just waiting for me to open up. Being dishonest with him....hurts! This whole situation has turned me into someone I no longer recognize.

[wantout]

Dont feel bad,

It is a business decision, companies do this every day, why not the little guy....

Maybe one day we will get some of that bail out money obama is handing out left and right.

[music12]

try to remember that bk does not define who you are. you are not lying to anybody by not talking about it. you are still the same person you always were. bk is just something you had to do.

[southernbelle]

I wouldn't call this a friend and you shouldn't either. A friend would understand, but like the other posters said, you should ignore this person. I didn't tell anyone that didn't need to know and in this bad economy it shouldn't come as a shock if someone files BK. BK is a business decision and you should do whatever it takes in order to make it. Aside from the people in this forum, you'd be surprised how many others out there are having the same problems.

[damooster]

When I started working for this company 4 years ago, I remember my supervisor coming down pretty hard on my co-worker for filing. He said those familiar lines of "I can't stand it when people file for bankruptcy" and "I don't care what happens, I'll never file for bankruptcy."

Two weeks ago this same man told us that he filed for bankruptcy. That same coworker still works here and rather than get on him about it, he offered his condolences and advice.

To the OP, your friend may very well find herself in that situation!

[pookieny]

My county publishes your name in the paper when you file! Try having people you know come up to you and say that they saw my name listed in the bankruptcy section of the paper! All I say to them is "yep, I filed and if you ever have finacial problems like I do, I highly recommend it ". That really shuts them up.

[Toby629]

We are not telling anyone about our filing Chapter 7, we did discuss it with our 2 sons who are in their twenties as they were getting worried about seeing what their parents are going through. We assured them we'll be okay, not to worry that we are doing what we have to in order to move on. We have been through 2 years of H*** since DH lost his job of 19 years. We did everything we could to keep current with everything while he has tried to find comparable employment to no avail. My family knows we are in financial straits but we will never tell them about our BK. They are way too judgemental, we would never hear the end of it. Some things are best kept to yourself.

[nerves]

Thank you to everyone for your support and advise. I let you know how it turns out after I tell him. I am sure it wont be long - we are visiting with a lawyer in the morning. Thanks again - you are all a great group.

[brandy100973]

Thanks so much for all the replys... and you now everyone is right I need to keep my business to myself and then I do not have to worry about what people say. My mother always tells me I trust people to much...

I hope everyone is having a great day...

Brandy

9/18/2009 - paid atty in full, waiting to sign paperwork and file..

[frogger]

Dont feel bad,

It is a business decision, companies do this every day, why not the little guy....

Maybe one day we will get some of that bail out money obama is handing out left and right.

Well said. It's a business decision. Nothing more, nothing less.

[shabam]

Thanks so much for all the replys... and you now everyone is right I need to keep my business to myself and then I do not have to worry about what people say. My mother always tells me I trust people to much...

I hope everyone is having a great day...

Brandy

9/18/2009 - paid atty in full, waiting to sign paperwork and file..

Unless you know someone who has filed themselves, some things are probably best kept to yourself to avoid any confrontation.

[broken64]

You should not feel ashamed at all. I don't broadcast our bk, but I don't hide it either. I look at it this way, bk does not define who we are, we were not the first ones to file and we won't be the last. I really could care less what people think of me..until they look in the same mirror as I and walk the same road they have no right. Most of the people we hang out with are in the same denial we were in before we filed spending big and making little. They too may have to venture down the bk road sometime. We are slowly pulling out of the financial mess, a HUGE lump was removed, and still training ourselves to budget wisely. You never will be able to fight ignorance so just hold ur head high and don't let it get u down.