Talk about people getting you down.. vent..

[brandy100973]

I was talking to a friend of mine about my bankruptcy and she was giving me a hard time about it. I was telling her how I would be able to get a car after discharge and things would be so much better, blah, blah and how it is a hard lesson to learn and then she goes on and on .. about oh you will not be able to get a car loan for this many years and noone is going to give you anything and people shouldnt be able to claim bankruptcy so easy and that she took 5 years to pay off $5,000.00 and blah blah... I was like you dont have three kids and a house payment and its not like I said on purpose Im going to get myself in so much debt and buy whatever I want and then file bankruptcy. Ive had most of these credit cards for over five years and was never never late.

sorry I Just had to vent and I thought this would be the place to do it..

[Lookadat]

Don't get me started... All these years I made money, purchased stuff as an effort to keep the economy going, paid taxes and so was a benefit to society, and now someone complains?

[kenshirley]

Just blow them off. Some people have no respect for others and it's better off not telling them your life's story.

[pookieny]

Don't talk about it except with someone you know has filed or will be filing. It's like trying to discuss politics with someone of a different party.

[kenshirley]

Or worse yet, religion!

[Flowers]

brandy, you did the responsible thing and it was the best thing for you given your situation. Financially it was the responsible thing to do and within the law.

[whipster1]

You made a business decision...sounds like your friend is clueless anyway, you will be getting credit before you even want it

[Never_Again]

Better yet, tell your friend that you have decided you don't need credit, and you are going to be really strange, and watch her mind just short circuit right there!

Honestly, I have not discussed my bankruptcy with anyone. It is nobody's business, and many just plain would not understand.

[kym]

No one needs to know you filed...other than my husband, the only ones who know is our parents (and mine were filing at the same time). I agree its like talking politics... if your not in the boat, how do you know there is a hole in the bottom...kwim... It's such a personal choice....

[justplaintired]

No one knows we filed, no one, but ofcourse people on here, and our attorney. We told no one, don't intend to tell anyone. We know people who filed, they told us, personally I don't need anyone judging us. We know how we ended up here, and we know what we need to do to make sure we don't have this happen again. Don't worry about people who judge you, if it makes you feel better, tell this person you changed your mind, and leave it at that. It's not for others to judge why or how we ended up here, what is it they say, Walk a mile in my shoes! Not one of us went out used credit and intend to file BK, it just happened, just like life happens.

[kym]

not only that... but with the economy... and ours was medical... over 160K in medical...

[leena]

I do not discuss it with anyone except my mom and a friend who filed. My fiance knows about it and is ok with it, but we do not discuss in detail either. Not because he is judgemental, I am just not very comfortable with it.

His credit is perfect. When we get married next year, when the time comes that we need a car we can finance with his credit. Until them, I am driving my old beater. Credit cards? Nope, I never want another one in my name again. My debit card is great for me.
I am going to pay my student loan, and make our car payment when that time comes. No more credit, don't want it, don't need it. My fiance owns a house, so I have no reason to get a card to "build my credit" to get a mortgage. In ten years, the BK will be gone and the student loans will show a perfect payment record. If we sell the house when he retires and get something else, that and his excellent credit will be enough.

I want to live cash. I am even hesitating on the car. I would prefer for us to save and drive a 6-7 grand car rather then finance.

Forget what others say! I have learned my lessons and I am moving on with my life.

[Amy26]

I guess I'm a bit more open about it... I really don't care who knows. I, of course, don't run up to total strangers and shout it from the rooftops but if I start talking about economy or finances with any of my friends or family it comes up. I haven't had any negative feedback about it but I really don't care what other people think. Just like I don't care what people think if I go to the grocery store in my pajamas... lol. To me, personally, it should only bother me if what they are saying is true. I know it was the right thing to do and I had no choice and I'm better off for it. Generally speaking, if someone else tries to ridcicule you for declaring bankruptcy is because of either ignorance or jealousy.

I understand your frustration but don't let it get to you. Its one thing to make mistakes and another thing not to learn from them. And its not entirely our faults that this happened to us. Its not like we're all declaring bankruptcy in a fabulous economy, low unemployment rates and high paying jobs.

[music12]

looking back, i am pretty sure i would have thought someone who declared bk was a failure. i knew nothing about it. now i know better. however, i wouldn't tell a person who didn't go through it because if i would not have understood, i cannot expect someone else to.

it doesn't matter what anybody thinks. it matters whether you made the right decision.

[nerves]

I am having a difficult time with bk. I have to notify my work due to some licensing I have. I dread the day I have to call him and let him know. I don't have a choice. As soon as I tell him, I am pretty sure other management will know and I will be treated differently or lose my job. I know you are suppose to be protected but they will most likely have my name on a black list when the next layoffs come around. I feel sick and I am having a hard time sleeping at night. Our local newspaper prints all the bk every quarter to top it all off. Anyone else have this type of anxiety?