Sorry if this gets long. Maybe a bit out of order since it isn't my first post but it's just sinking in that this is a long process and i might be posting more often than i expected. I thought i'd take a step back and start over and see what happens...
I met with a bankruptcy attorney this morning after finally realizing my optimism of someday getting a better job and being able to pay off my debt probably isn't realistic. I'm meeting with another tomorrow morning and will hopefully make a decision of how to proceed soon. I'd like to write down my story and if anyone's willing to offer suggestions or advice i'd greatly appreciate it.
My wife and i are/were educated professionals doing well, both working... optimistically naive about our spending. We didn't spend lavishly (compared to others we know) but didn't worry about our college cc debt, etc either assuming we could easily pay it off "next year". My car was 10 yrs old... we didn't even have cable but we were trying to "keep up with the jones" in other categories.
Anyway... our daughter was born with a rare heart defect and had 2 open heart surgeries within the first 9 months and some other procedures. She had complications after each. My wife had to quit her job to keep up with the ongoing doctor's appointments and physical therapy. To be more to the point, our expenses went up quickly and our income went down quickly. That was almost 2 years ago.
I did what i thought i was supposed to do... i kept current on everything with the help of cc's and cashing out my 401k, etc. Once the $ ran out (July?) and one of my cc's (w/ 0 balance) did an audit and determined i was over-extended and closed without my intervention i finally woke up and realized we might be in bad shape. I went to credit counseling and tried to get a debt consolidation loan still not considering bk. No one would loan us anything. A first.
Currently, i'm considering ch 7 but keeping the house and car since we're not behind. i'm hoping to limit it to our cc debt (which includes the old medical bills). At first i thought i could transfer the card from my wife's name to mine and assume the burden myself. That way, in an emergency, she would have better credit and might be able to get something like a car loan if we needed one rather than both rebuilding our credit at the same time. The lawyer said that likely wouldn't be possible unless we waited 6 months before filing. In that time we'd probably rack up just as much debt so i think the new plan is to file jointly even though most of the (shared) debt is on cards in my name.
I just learned i should probably switch banks, etc so i'm realizing this is going to be a bigger life-event than i thought. Makes sense... just never really thought about it before. I think it's safe to say we weren't really in tune with reality. We're in marriage counseling because of the family, and now financial, stress has taken its toll on our relationship. At the moment, I can't imagine giving up the house (it's not upside-down or particularly expensive), some days i think losing that foundation would be the end of the relationship.
Sorry, i'm rambling now and didn't really mean to get that personal. Oh well. I've already received some good advice and appreciate the time, effort, and honesty i see here. I'm sorry if i'm not able to give back to the community yet but I hope if anyone has a similar story or can help point me in the right direction they'll consider sharing.
Thanks,
I met with a bankruptcy attorney this morning after finally realizing my optimism of someday getting a better job and being able to pay off my debt probably isn't realistic. I'm meeting with another tomorrow morning and will hopefully make a decision of how to proceed soon. I'd like to write down my story and if anyone's willing to offer suggestions or advice i'd greatly appreciate it.
My wife and i are/were educated professionals doing well, both working... optimistically naive about our spending. We didn't spend lavishly (compared to others we know) but didn't worry about our college cc debt, etc either assuming we could easily pay it off "next year". My car was 10 yrs old... we didn't even have cable but we were trying to "keep up with the jones" in other categories.
Anyway... our daughter was born with a rare heart defect and had 2 open heart surgeries within the first 9 months and some other procedures. She had complications after each. My wife had to quit her job to keep up with the ongoing doctor's appointments and physical therapy. To be more to the point, our expenses went up quickly and our income went down quickly. That was almost 2 years ago.
I did what i thought i was supposed to do... i kept current on everything with the help of cc's and cashing out my 401k, etc. Once the $ ran out (July?) and one of my cc's (w/ 0 balance) did an audit and determined i was over-extended and closed without my intervention i finally woke up and realized we might be in bad shape. I went to credit counseling and tried to get a debt consolidation loan still not considering bk. No one would loan us anything. A first.
Currently, i'm considering ch 7 but keeping the house and car since we're not behind. i'm hoping to limit it to our cc debt (which includes the old medical bills). At first i thought i could transfer the card from my wife's name to mine and assume the burden myself. That way, in an emergency, she would have better credit and might be able to get something like a car loan if we needed one rather than both rebuilding our credit at the same time. The lawyer said that likely wouldn't be possible unless we waited 6 months before filing. In that time we'd probably rack up just as much debt so i think the new plan is to file jointly even though most of the (shared) debt is on cards in my name.
I just learned i should probably switch banks, etc so i'm realizing this is going to be a bigger life-event than i thought. Makes sense... just never really thought about it before. I think it's safe to say we weren't really in tune with reality. We're in marriage counseling because of the family, and now financial, stress has taken its toll on our relationship. At the moment, I can't imagine giving up the house (it's not upside-down or particularly expensive), some days i think losing that foundation would be the end of the relationship.
Sorry, i'm rambling now and didn't really mean to get that personal. Oh well. I've already received some good advice and appreciate the time, effort, and honesty i see here. I'm sorry if i'm not able to give back to the community yet but I hope if anyone has a similar story or can help point me in the right direction they'll consider sharing.
Thanks,
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