I saw a doctor and a different life

[Kpower]

I was having episodes of chest pain and finally one sunday I woke up with a pain in my chest and it would not go away. I had this feeling of impending doom like I was going to die. So I google heart attack symptoms and it says pain in chest and feeling of impending doom and it could last for hours before the actual heart attack. So I started thinking crap I could be having a heart attack and die at any second. Then I started thinking about my babies and how they would make it in the world without me. So I went to the hospital and they ran tests and eventually gave me morphine to ease the pain. Turns out after a stress test I am healthy. I just have anxiety. I am not sure yet if it was brought on soley by the situation we were in or not. I have internalized my worries all of my life and tried to be positive. I am now on Lexapro and xanax. Things are better for me. I had some side effects but those are mostly gone. Now that I am aware of the problem I have started to notice where the significant portions of my stress come from. I have been trying to teach myself to deal with those things in a healthy way so that I can wean myself off of the drugs.

[frogger]

So much worry, so little time.........

We are all in or have been in your shoes. I still haven't filed, but I have made my mind up as to the direction that I'm taking. Taking my time, getting everything planned, and know what I'm going to do.

Once the decision was made to file bk, the road was much more clear. Instead of worrying about all of the what ifs, I make the decisions based upon filing for bk in the future. It makes life so much better when you have a plan.

I've got a few that I owe $$$ to that are after me, but I don't lose any sleep over them at night anymore. They can just try to come and get me...

[Pizza]

Let's see.... my list of meds over the past few months:

Klonopin (3x a day)
Restoril (1 at night, discontinued)
Ambien (1 at night, discontinued)
Adderal (3x a day, discontinued)
Valium (1x every evening)
Ativan (1 a day, discontinued)
Paxil (1 a day, discontinued)

Still stressed about the BK? Not as much, but there's no such thing as a "forget about your finances pill". That's what BK is for. For a good night sleep, I went through everything until I hit Valium at night and Klonopin 3x a day. It's not a bad life, really.

[denisejohn65]

I'm a wreck too.....I'm so sad....I worry all the time and cry everyday

[music12]

things will get better, you'll see!

[67caprice427]

To the OP- hang in there! Yes, it was extremely stressful right until I walked out of the courthouse having filed my ch7. It was like the world had just been lifted off of my shoulders. I "celebrated" by giving the couple of dollars I had in my pocket(I was waiting on payday) to an individual sitting on the corner that was in a worse predicament than me. Once you file, you'll be so relieved, you'll wonder why you waited so long and stressed yourself out.

[CCsAreEvil]

I must say the hardest thing for getting fired last year with having over $100k in unsecured debt. I was depressed for months but never took any medication. I would have nightmares about my former boss and suicidal thoughts, being able to only sleep very few hours a night. I was too depressed to look for work, feeling worthless.

After several months, I finally decided to file for BK. I kept trying to use the money I had (mostly from my tax returns) to keep making my monthly CC payments. That was a mistake. I really should have filed for BK months ago but finally filed recently.

Knowing and eventually filing for BK I think really helped relieve a bunch of stress. I can sleep much better at nights but still have the occasional nightmare. Of course, I still don't know what lies ahead for me and my family since I'm still out of work. There's still stress. Hardest part is how to explain being out of work for a year to my next potenial employer or possibly having to state I filed for BK recently. Won't they do a background check which will show a low FICO score and having filed BK? So, yeah, there is still stress, but just not as much.

The economy is in the gutter right now. I really can't wait for this BK to be done with. I am so willing to take a job with much less pay but may still end up ahead since I won't have over $2k in CC minimum monthly payments to worry about. One of the hardest things about life is not knowing the future. I guess life would be boring otherwise.

So, hang in there. You are definitely NOT alone.

[2manybills]

Everyone experienced stress during this time. That's why I've already said you don't need to listen to a credit beating you up during this process, we've all beat ourselves up enough. Things will get better during each phase!

Already for us paying cash for everything has been great! Actually getting car repairs that we had been putting off and paying cash for them.

There is light at the end of this tunnel.

[Moneypenny]

I am suffering too. Just started to not pay my cc debts and watching all the charges add up, the balances balloon. No turning back. I have two sleepless nights and then luckily for me i get so tired that I sleep one night, and then it starts again. At least every third day i feel kind of normal.

I do a lot of physical exercise. A lot. A lot. I think it helps and at least gets me that occasional night of sleep.

The other thing is that it is all in our minds. Actually we are living, breathing here, safe and eating enough and warm (or most of us). Everything else is just a thought in the head. I try to live here bring myself back here as much as possible.

At night though sometimes the thoughts take over. dont know why that is.

work at it!

Mr. Moneypenny

[MyStimulus]

Everyone going through this situation is going to experience stress. I am guilty of creating the "what ifs" in my head as well. Instead, think about how great it is to start from scratch. Do a search on google about living the simple life. We put unneccesary stresses on ourselves when we create problems in our head. Keep yourself occupied. Spend extra time with friends and family. Read, draw, take a walk in a park, pray, do anything to keep your mind occupied. I began to read self help and self improvement books. Do not watch too much TV especially news or shows about celebrities. We tend to think everyone else is doing great and we are the only ones struggling. Not true. Millionaires have a shorter life span than those who chose a simple less materialistic life. My father told me that I thought I was about to fall off the edge when in fact the edge was not even in sight. I hope the best for everyone here. I too am very depressed about it, but I often get excited about starting over. Life is an adventure and like a previous poster stated, if life where so easy it would be quite boring. You will become stronger with time!!

[bluemartini]

This is a timely thread. Most people work hard to pay for a home, pay the bills, save for retirement, etc. When you literally lose everything to your name, it is profoundly devastating.

For me, the decision to walk away from the home I could no longer afford was kind of like making the decision of whether or not to cut off my arm.

The past year, year and a half has been pure hell in a lot of ways. Nightmares almost nightly. Horrible, vivid nightmares where I would either wake up myself up in the middle of the night with my yelling and a few times I even woke up literally crying.

At my lowest point I was seriously considering suicide and had made a detailed "escape" plan so to speak. Fortunately those feelings have passed and I don't think about that anymore. I guess it's because I've pretty much accepted my fate and all the question marks that the future holds. I'm in my 40s and it is scary to think about starting from scratch at my age. Honestly though, if I went to the doctor and they told me I had terminal cancer with a week to live, I don't think I'd be that upset! Life has been such a struggle these past few years.

It's only in the past few weeks that I've felt hope after consulting with a BK attorney who I plan to hire as soon as I can get the retainer fee together. The nightmares are fewer and far between now, but they're still there.

Fifteen years ago if anyone had predicted I would end up losing my home and my IRA I would have said they were crazy. I really used to have my act together back in those days, or so I thought.

[adviceplease]

Op I understand how you feel. I am averaging about a 2 lb loss a week because I am just so sick to my stomach. Each step of this process is brings me more stress.

At first it was like what if they tell me no I can't file? Now that I have retained and informed the creditors I am sure that they are going to sue us before we file, that the trustee is going to tear us up and keep adjourning our case which means more fee's etc. I am a wreck. I picked a very bad time to do this because I also start back to school and I have my entrance exam coming up which I can't sit down for even 2 seconds to study for. I just want this all over with.

[nc73]

I think some of you worry and stress too much over this. The worse that could happen is you end up paying back in a chapter 13. Well unless it's fraud. Stop beating yourself up over nothing. Now if you're filing because you lost your job and can't pay the bills...well that's a different story and I'd definitely worry.

[adviceplease]

I Now if you're filing because you lost your job and can't pay the bills...well that's a different story and I'd definitely worry.

Okay that did not make me feel better...lol. I lost my job 2 years ago and I was never able to find one that paid enough to make up for what I had to pay in daycare and that is one part of why we are were we are, there is a lot to contributed to my whole BK story. My hubby still has his job, I am a student but I have 2 years to go and there is just no way to pay all of these CC's until I am out of school.

[MyStimulus]

Hey Advice,,,Keep your chin up. BK is available for specific reasons such as job loss! It clears you of financial obligations to provide you with a fresh start. I have a job, but I have a significant loss of income which is almost the same thing. I am converting my chapter 13 to a chapter 7 and surrendering my house. This will allow me to start over and adjust to a new lifestyle with less possessions. A simpler life if you will. Try to think positive and positive things will happen. Good Luck!