Please please please help me

[TotallyLost]

I'll try my best to summarize my situation briefly. I was stupid in college, ran up a lot of debt, not realizing how deep I was getting. I was finished with school in 2005 and moved across the country with my girlfriend to help her pay for law school. I was stupid, struggled to get a job (never did), and continued racking up more debt in paying for her bills... instead of telling her the truth of the situation. I eventually couldn't pay mine (or hers), but then the collection agencies got involved, and I got very depressed.

I felt overwhelmed and in an impossible situation. It was stupid, but it got the best of me, and I started ignoring everything. I couldn't pay them anything so I stopped reading the letters altogether.

I, as I've said, became depressed, although I never went to a therapist or anything about it. Last year, I moved back in with my parents to try to get back on my feet, but they're calling here, and I still haven't gotten a job. It's like I can't focus on my life with all of this impossible debt hanging over me. It sounds pathetic, and I know it is, but it kind of overtook my life. I have no idea where the four years since I left school have went. I've wasted my life and totally let the debt beat me down. Every day just seems hopeless.

I haven't made a payment (or used the cards) in probably two years. On balances at that time alone, I probably owed $20,000 over six or seven cards. I also had a loan from Gateway for a computer for a few thousand and probably owe a bank a few hundred for overdraft fees. I'm sure there's a few more items that I'm forgetting. Like I said, I did the worst thing I could do, ignored the situation, let it beat me, and lost track. I know I could find it all out, but this is where I'm at at the moment.

I also have around $25,000 in school loan debt, which I know bankruptcy wouldn't help with. But if that's all I had, I could potentially get my life back on track.

The reason I'm trying to be responsible and get things straight now are that my friend is starting a business, so I have a great opportunity potentially if the business is a success. But I want to be able to focus on it and give it my best, and to do that, I need to get this debt discharged if I can. The phone calls, the dark cloud hanging over me, it is just too much for me. It's hopeless it feels like.

Yes, I know this is my fault. I don't need any lectures on that, believe me. I hate how it all happened, but all I can do now is try to fix it and work my way back.

I guess my questions/concerns are...
-Would being unemployed for so long get my case thrown out? The cards I had that I ran up debt on, I paid them for months, and some for even years. It isn't like I got a card, charged it up, and stopped paying on it. Quite the contrary. Just over the years, they got to be too much. It all snowballed on me.

I guess that's really my main question right now. Do I have a case? Or will it be thrown out? Do I have any hope?

[bkmaggster]

I'll try my best to summarize my situation briefly. I was stupid in college, ran up a lot of debt, not realizing how deep I was getting. I was finished with school in 2005 and moved across the country with my girlfriend to help her pay for law school. I was stupid, struggled to get a job (never did), and continued racking up more debt in paying for her bills... instead of telling her the truth of the situation. I eventually couldn't pay mine (or hers), but then the collection agencies got involved, and I got very depressed.

I felt overwhelmed and in an impossible situation. It was stupid, but it got the best of me, and I started ignoring everything. I couldn't pay them anything so I stopped reading the letters altogether.

I, as I've said, became depressed, although I never went to a therapist or anything about it. Last year, I moved back in with my parents to try to get back on my feet, but they're calling here, and I still haven't gotten a job. It's like I can't focus on my life with all of this impossible debt hanging over me. It sounds pathetic, and I know it is, but it kind of overtook my life. I have no idea where the four years since I left school have went. I've wasted my life and totally let the debt beat me down. Every day just seems hopeless.

I haven't made a payment (or used the cards) in probably two years. On balances at that time alone, I probably owed $20,000 over six or seven cards. I also had a loan from Gateway for a computer for a few thousand and probably owe a bank a few hundred for overdraft fees. I'm sure there's a few more items that I'm forgetting. Like I said, I did the worst thing I could do, ignored the situation, let it beat me, and lost track. I know I could find it all out, but this is where I'm at at the moment.

I also have around $25,000 in school loan debt, which I know bankruptcy wouldn't help with. But if that's all I had, I could potentially get my life back on track.

The reason I'm trying to be responsible and get things straight now are that my friend is starting a business, so I have a great opportunity potentially if the business is a success. But I want to be able to focus on it and give it my best, and to do that, I need to get this debt discharged if I can. The phone calls, the dark cloud hanging over me, it is just too much for me. It's hopeless it feels like.

Yes, I know this is my fault. I don't need any lectures on that, believe me. I hate how it all happened, but all I can do now is try to fix it and work my way back.

I guess my questions/concerns are...
-Would being unemployed for so long get my case thrown out? The cards I had that I ran up debt on, I paid them for months, and some for even years. It isn't like I got a card, charged it up, and stopped paying on it. Quite the contrary. Just over the years, they got to be too much. It all snowballed on me.

I guess that's really my main question right now. Do I have a case? Or will it be thrown out? Do I have any hope?

What is the statute of limitations in your state? In some states it's only 4 years. Most states are 6, I believe. You may want to just let them drop off, and not go through BK.

Please get some therapy if you can. If you develop better coping skills it will help you never get in this situation again.

[TotallyLost]

What is the statute of limitations in your state? In some states it's only 4 years. Most states are 6, I believe. You may want to just let them drop off, and not go through BK.

Please get some therapy if you can. If you develop better coping skills it will help you never get in this situation again.

I'm not sure. I've been living in Alabama for the last year or so and most of the accounts were opened while I was living in Alabama (but not all). I'm sure the credit card debt is much more than $20K after all penalties.

If I'm reading right, Alabama is six years?

And I know what you mean re: therapy, but if I could just get my life straightened out this one time, I would never ever ever find myself in this situation again. I know people say that and then they find themselves right back in it, but not me. Not after I feel like I've lost four years of my life to this. I honestly can't believe the time that has passed has passed. I have to finally stand up and face this, but I just don't know if I have a case for it, and if I don't, I'm really in even more trouble than the amount that has had me completely stressed for going on four years.

[Flamingo]

Your problem started before you racked up the debt. You could be suffering from depression which could have caused you to continually rack up the debt you did and put you in the spot you are now. I am jjust gleaning this from what you posted as it stands out like a neon light. Unless you solve that portion of your issues also along with the financial, this could be a yo-yo situation for you as you need to learn to handle your finances and be on your own. Realizing a lot of this is your first step; the next is to get some medical intervention and you start first with your family doctor. Since you are back with your parents, maybe they can also help you with all this.

A good way to start as to cleaning up your financial situation is to obtain copies of all three of your credit reports and see what is on them since you don't have any clue what is going on and are trying to hide from the situation. With that information, I would make a listing of what is due and owing, a listing of accounts, etc. and make an appointment with a BK attorney in your area (most consultations are free) who can review your situation and advise you appropriately as to your circumstances and what to do.

Best of luck to you - you need to face this head on to get the answers you need and it will not be easy since you are clearly suffering from depression from what you indicate in your posting. Thankfully you have family around to help out.

[music12]

as to bk, just the fact that you have been unemployed is not going to jeopardize your bk filing if you file. anybody would see that this was just a case of a college student not being very careful. everybody makes mistakes when they are young, and even when they become older... so that's not something to worry about. if you want to file, most likely everything will get discharged.

my confusion is that girlfriend of yours. where did she think you were getting the money from to help her given that you did not have a job? and actually, where *did* you get the money??

[OhioFiler]

Flamingo is absolutely correct. You must treat the depression before you deal with the financial situation you have. Four years post-grad without having looked for a job is a sign you may well suffer a mental health issue.

You have realized the need to deal with these old debts only because you see an opportunity to be involved in a new company that a friend is promising will become very lucrative. You are attaching your hope to a dream. If the new company were to fail, you'd be in a worse situation than you are now.

Visit a local mental health clinic and seek an evaluation. There is no shame in having a mental illness. Get help please.

[TotallyLost]

Thanks for the responses so far.

A good way to start as to cleaning up your financial situation is to obtain copies of all three of your credit reports and see what is on them since you don't have any clue what is going on and are trying to hide from the situation. With that information, I would make a listing of what is due and owing, a listing of accounts, etc. and make an appointment with a BK attorney in your area (most consultations are free) who can review your situation and advise you appropriately as to your circumstances and what to do.

Best of luck to you - you need to face this head on to get the answers you need and it will not be easy since you are clearly suffering from depression from what you indicate in your posting. Thankfully you have family around to help out.

You're right. I'm going to look into this asap. Thanks for the credit report suggestion. I'm going to do that asap, as well.

as to bk, just the fact that you have been unemployed is not going to jeopardize your bk filing if you file. anybody would see that this was just a case of a college student not being very careful. everybody makes mistakes when they are young, and even when they become older... so that's not something to worry about. if you want to file, most likely everything will get discharged.

my confusion is that girlfriend of yours. where did she think you were getting the money from to help her given that you did not have a job? and actually, where *did* you get the money??

So the unemployment for that period of time won't jeopardize it? I was afriad it'd look like I was abusing the system or something. I just don't see any other way out other than filing.

As for the girlfriend, at first my parents were giving me a little money each month. And, like an idiot, I let my inability to get a job embarrass me, and I wasn't truthful with her. And because of the stress of her going through law school, I put her first (I always did) and paid her bills instead of mine. It was all my fault. I just kept thinking things would get better soon and that I was putting a band-aid on the "little problem" for a time being and that I could catch myself up next month, and then next month, and then next month, but things never got better. And one day, everything just collapsed on me, and I guess I was too weak to deal with it. Then I basically holed myself up and let things get way way way too far.

Flamingo is absolutely correct. You must treat the depression before you deal with the financial situation you have. Four years post-grad without having looked for a job is a sign you may well suffer a mental health issue.

You have realized the need to deal with these old debts only because you see an opportunity to be involved in a new company that a friend is promising will become very lucrative. You are attaching your hope to a dream. If the new company were to fail, you'd be in a worse situation than you are now.

Visit a local mental health clinic and seek an evaluation. There is no shame in having a mental illness. Get help please.

To be honest with you, I fully believe I have a mental health issue. I did look for a job at first, though. I just didn't get anything in time, and when things got to be too much for me, that's when I kind of acted like a big baby and gave up hope. And fast-forward, and here I am, four years later. Like I said earlier, I can't even believe how much time has gone by so fast. I'm totally wasting my life due to this debt getting the best of me, and I'm ready to confront it. I don't want to let any more time get lost.

As for the new job, it's not so much that I think I'll make a ton of money on it, it's that it's an opportunity. I'm terrified of applying for jobs because I know a lot of them check credit now, and I can't even begin to imagine how they'd react if they saw mine. I know with my friend, that won't be an issue. I don't have to invest any money in it or anything (thank God because I have none), but I'll be investing my time and helping out. It is true, I am hoping it becomes lucrative, but honestly, if I just made enough to start over (basically anything), I'd be happy if I could actually start over. With all of this debt, I can't.

[bkmaggster]

$25k should not keep you from getting any jobs, unless you are trying to be a bank manager or work with a security clearance. Don't let that keep you from applying.

[music12]

ignore the fear that a potential employer would check your credit. many don't. i think the job would have to require you to actually handle money for them to check. even if they do, i hear they do it only after they already are about to offer you a job, at which point you could explain ahead of time that you made some mistakes as a college student, maybe even tell them you were helping your friend out - you were responsible to her, not to yourself.

there is nothing to fear but fear itself! it's true, live by it (i should too, it's easier said than done, but do try).

go for this opportunity with this new business whether or not you file. turn off the ringers on your phone for a while so you can think with some peace and decide what to do.

[catleg]

A lot of us are escapists or in denial of a lot of stuff. The credit card debt just magnifies the problem. Do a BK chapter 7, and start over. To some degree being an escapist may help you put this behind you better than a person who dwells on every mistake they made. It takes all kinds to make a world. I guess I never really learned responsibility either so I know where you're coming from.

[frogger]

Don't be too concerned about the employer checking credit. As long as you can pass a criminal background and drug test, that takes care of most employers.

Good luck to you.

[TotallyLost]

Thank you so much for your replies. I promise I am reading and hearing and considering them all.

So is it the general consensus that the super-long-term unemployment wouldn't hinder a Chapter 7 or have the trustee immediately wanting to throw it out? Is it really irrelevant?

I am going to schedule an appointment with a lawyer soon just to talk over my options, but I'd like to know what you guys think, as well.

[MSbklawyer]

Short answer: No. Your bankruptcy case won't be dismissed because of extended unemployment. Where did that notion come from? Did someone tell you that? If bankruptcy cases got dismissed because of the debtor's unemployment, there would be no bankruptcy cases.

Unemployment, extended or otherwise is the rule, not the exception.

Take a chill pill, and then go see a good bk lawyer. Sounds like you need a 13so you can make some progress toward clearing up your student loans.

[TotallyLost]

Short answer: No. Your bankruptcy case won't be dismissed because of extended unemployment. Where did that notion come from? Did someone tell you that? If bankruptcy cases got dismissed because of the debtor's unemployment, there would be no bankruptcy cases.

Unemployment, extended or otherwise is the rule, not the exception.

Take a chill pill, and then go see a good bk lawyer. Sounds like you need a 13so you can make some progress toward clearing up your student loans.

Nobody told me that. I just figured that super-long-term unemployment could make it look like I didn't try to pay off the debts or whatever. Or that I was abusing the system by not working and then wanting to make the debt disappear through court. I don't know? I guess I'm way off.

And I don't mean to sound like a moron, because I have read so much on these forums before posting, but a Chapter 13 for me? With no assets to speak of? I thought, if anything, I was definitely in the Chapter 7 camp (if either)?

[frogger]

Nobody told me that. I just figured that super-long-term unemployment could make it look like I didn't try to pay off the debts or whatever. Or that I was abusing the system by not working and then wanting to make the debt disappear through court.

If super-long-term unemployment was a problem, it would rule out 75% of the people in my area from filing. We've got a bunch of folks that depend on their guvmint checks to live. They don't even try to work and file as often as possible.