Anyone else ever do the math? (I am feeling sick!)

[zpbk13]

In an attempt to simplify our family life, hubby and I are really taking a hard look at all our finances, including the perceived "need" for two newer vehicles. I have been reading a lot on frugal living websites and admire people that have kept their cars for 10+years. Don't ask me where we got the notion that we had to have new cars (leases or puchases) every few years but we have been in this vicious cycle for our entire 16 year marriage. I sat down and did the calculation last night and on the conservative end, we have spent about $90,000 on cars since we have been married! And the worst of it is - wait for it - WE HAVE NEVER OUTRIGHT OWNED ONE OF THEM!!!!

This realization just makes me sick. But it shows just how conditioned we had become or just how much we were trying to keep up with Joneses fooling ourselves into thinking leasing new SUV's every few years or constantly trading in cars that we just didn't like anymore was just what you do. Why? Why is it that we could not just be satified with basic (safe) transportation?

Our thinking now is so different. As we prepare to face our 341 on September 21, our thinking is becoming so much clearer. Anyone else ever calculate how much money you have spent on vehicles over the years? What I wouldn't give to have that 85 grand in hand now!

[bkmaggster]

I have not done the calculations, but what you are talking about is the thing I am most grateful for about bankruptcy. Yep, grateful. I said it.

I have completely done a hard reset on how I look at possessions, consumer services, even food.

I know now that I don't need cable television, or new cars, or gadgets, or designer handbags to make me happy. That's all just filler. I had it all and I still wasn't happy.

I love the creativity that I put towards making meals out of basics in the pantry. I like riding my bicycle, and doing research on used cars that I will buy in cash in the future. I enjoy the time I spend interacting with my husband instead of sitting mesmerized in front of the tv.

I know now that when I do make a good income again (and I will!), I will be secure, financially safe, and happy. No more filling my life up with things and being a debt slave.

[nc73]

That's what i keep preaching. There is no need to buy brand new cars! Almost any used vehicle will do, just do your research. I have a car that is 13 years old and it still runs fine, no problems. My other car is 9 years old, again no problems that I can't fix. New cars are for rich or stupid folk. Been there, done that.

[backtoschool]

I have not done the calculations, but what you talking about is the thing I am most grateful for about bankruptcy. Yep, grateful. I said it.

I have completely done a hard reset on how I look at possessions, consumer services, even food.

I know now that I don't need cable television, or new cars, or gadgets, or designer handbags to make me happy. That's all just filler. I had it all and I still wasn't happy.

I love the creativity that I put towards making meals out of basics in the pantry. I like riding my bicycle, and doing research on used cars that I will buy in cash in the future. I enjoy the time I spend interacting with my husband instead of sitting mesmerized in front of the tv.

I know now that when I do make a good income again (and I will!), I will be secure, financially safe, and happy. No more filling my life up with things and being a debt slave.

I totally agree.

I am grateful to have a chance to start again, and have a career that is more in line with my personal values.

I had a lot of money and wasted it all, and then spent money that I didn't have. Why? Because I was miserable, and I thought that buying things or having designer things and gadgets would make me happy. It didn't.

When I was clearing out my possessions to move back to the midwest, I looked at my designer purses, and my expensive toys, and I couldn't believe that I had kept a career I hated for so long just to have these things. Now I walk around town in a purse I bought at Target, and I am much much happier, and very grateful to have a second chance.

I had to be literally hit over my head to come to my senses. But I am glad and grateful that I am learning what is really important.

[needhelphere]

My husband and I had great success in 2006 & 2007 with our careers. Our household income level went up by almost $40k/year as we both got a couple promotions. We went over board and replaced our cars ($60K), TV, added a $12K motorcycle and had a maid who came and cleaned every week. I went crazy with shopping and we eat out almost every night. Our excuse at the time was that we worked so hard (both of us were working 65-75 hours a week) that we deserved it. Well little did we know that I was going to get laid off twice in the next two years for almost 6-7months at a time. I look back and sigh at how irresponsible we were not saving for our future and were out spending petty much everything we made and some. Fortunately, we have learned to live frugally and will continue even after this BK is over. We both made a commitment that no matter how much more money we make in the future we will always live with minimal things and save for the rainy days. Especially with our new baby coming next week we have no choice but to be responsible as we will have one more mouth to feed

[OhioFiler]

Each of the personal testimonies above are what I call real success stories. It's not the person who dies with the most toys who wins. It's the guy (or gal) who dies having enjoyed life with satisfaction who wins.

Congrats to each of you!

Needhelphere...best wishes to you and your growing family!

[GT7]

The Story of The Mexican Fisherman
author unkonw


An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
The Mexican replied, ‘only a little while.’
The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish?

The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.
The American then asked, ‘but what do you do with the rest of your time?’
The Mexican fisherman said, ‘I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.’
The American scoffed, ‘I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.’
The Mexican fisherman asked, ‘But, how long will this all take?’
To which the American replied, ‘15 - 20 years.’
‘But what then?’ Asked the Mexican.
The American laughed and said, ‘That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”
“Millions - then what?”
The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

[backtoschool]

The Story of The Mexican Fisherman
author unkonw

OMG this is great!!! I wish someone had shown me this ten years ago when I moved to nyc and went down the wrong path. Oh well, this time around I am opting for the siestas and the guitar playing.

[tinfoilhat]

The Story of The Mexican Fisherman
author unkonw

Yet they risk their lives to escape mexico to live in the US.
I guess making a point doesn't always have to make sense.

Why is it that we could not just be satified with basic (safe) transportation?

Because it's a tool to get you from point A to point B, thats all it is.

I fix up old cars as a hobby, I started throwing my reciepts away when the prices got sickening.

But what I've always ended up with was a car built the way I wanted it, not how a factory thought the general public wanted it.

[zpbk13]

Thanks so much everyone for sharing your words of wisdom. I just love this site. It is such a great place to escape the insanity of this world's commercialism and it helps me focus. Our bk does not mean we are failures and just because we will not be driving the latest and most luxurious vehicles out there does not mean we are not good people. My hubby just agreed that we could take in my teen pregnant sister. Can't wait to hear the pitter patter of little feet in the house again real soon! Helping people truly in need and having that warm fuzzy feeling in your heart - that is truly living!!!

[justplaintired]

I totally believe people are conditioned to think that "stuff", be it a car, or high end home, or high end anything, is the most important thing in life, that's what got so many people in this mess. I just wonder why we all thought that. What made us all get ourselves into whatever financial mess we are in?

I knew better, I wasn't raised that way.

We don't own new cars, we don't have a car payment. We drive late model cars, and we are fine with that. We have learned by a different means, our was more just stupid stuff that got us here. Either way, when I think how stupid we have been, it makes me sick. All that stuff didn't make us any happier and since we haven't had use of cc, we do fine, we just don't go shop for stuff that didn't really matter anyway.

[frogger]

New cars are for rich or stupid folk. Been there, done that.

Me too. I think I fit in with the stupid crowd. Never again....

[shabam]

Excellent thread. I think I have wasted about $70K myself on cars over the years.

I also enjoyed the fisherman story. I have traveled around the world and at first found the lifestyle of others weird compared to our 24/7 have to be on the go / doing something attitude. Have to buy the better car, bigger house, move to new area rather than improve existing areas and so on. Only now, during the last few years, have I realized that the joke is on us. Particularly those of us living around large cities. Which, nowadays, seems to be a dog-eat-dog environment.

Once this entire bk is all said an done I have made up my mind to try to move to Australia. It was a tough choice between them and Canada but their warmer weather and exceptional quality of living seems to make the choice a little easier. I have a few friends who live there and have traveled there before and was quite impressed. Those guys just seem to get it more than we do. Stuff doesn't mean as much to them, whereas quality of life does. When comparing our living standard to that of their own, they're beating us in quite a few areas.

[RainMoM]

Yes very good thread... I used to do the same thing, trade my car in evey two to three years, now I will be happy just to keep the one i got, it's funny, on our way home from the 341 meeting, hubby asked me ' "when are you going to trade in your car" ? I said never !! A year ago, my answer would have been, maybe in a few months.. i just took a moment to realize.. Damn i'm finaly getting it !! I don't need to impress anyone, I can get by with what i have ! to me my friends here.. that is the best feeling.. Learning to save and not spend every dime you have, everytime you have a little extra.. I'm so looking forward to having a saving account

[JRScott]

It can be daunting. That is an area I've never splurged in myself. But I know my uncle used to trade every 2-3 years and did it for 20 some years. Only since retirement has he stopped that.