To fight or not to fight...what do u think?

[Kingxray]

To try to make a long story short, hubby and I got into a deal with my dad to purchase and share a summer home. We paid him most of the money back with 7% interest and then were going to pay the rest with the proceeds from our primary home when it sold. He agreed to that but not to the final payment amount. When our primary home didn't sell in this market he sued and put a lien on the house. We didn't fight the lawsuit because by then we had moved out of state and were not receiving the court notices in time to attend them. He then contacted my husband's work and tried to garnish his wages, which if we allowed to happen would bankrupt us. We contacted a lawyer and he suggested going BK. My dad then hired a lawyer in the state we are living in and sent him to our 341 and he contacted the UST. We dismissed our case and have since refiled and his lawyer showed up again and did the same thing. His lawyer knows he cannot win on a creditor objection so his next best thing is to get the UST involved.

Since the posting of this thread the UST has once again filed a statement of abuse (not surprisingly). I guess it is decision time. We see our lawyer tomorrow and will weigh our options.

I am an only child and my mother is dead, so it was just me and my dad, and we haven't spoken to him since this whole thing start approx. 4 years ago. He also hasn't seen his only grandkids, who have since graduated from college. Yes it is sad but it happens and he has virtually ruined our lives. What more can I say? Thanks for all the support here.

[killinstinct]

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggle. Frustrating. Stay strong....I wish you the best.

[shabam]

To try to make a long story short, hubby and I got into a deal with my dad to purchase and share a summer home. We paid him most of the money back with 7% interest and then were going to pay the rest with the proceeds from our primary home when it sold. He agreed to that but not to the final payment amount. When our primary home didn't sell in this market he sued and put a lien on the house. We didn't fight the lawsuit because by then we had moved out of state and were not receiving the court notices in time to attend them. He then contacted my husband's work and tried to garnish his wages, which if we allowed to happen would bankrupt us. We contacted a lawyer and he suggested going BK. My dad then hired a lawyer in the state we are living in and sent him to our 341 and he contacted the UST. We dismissed our case and have since refiled and his lawyer showed up again and did the same thing. His lawyer knows he cannot win on a creditor objection so his next best thing is to get the UST involved.

Since the posting of this thread the UST has once again filed a statement of abuse (not surprisingly). I guess it is decision time. We see our lawyer tomorrow and will weigh our options.

I am an only child and my mother is dead, so it was just me and my dad, and we haven't spoken to him since this whole thing start approx. 4 years ago. He also hasn't seen his only grandkids, who have since graduated from college. Yes it is sad but it happens and he has virtually ruined our lives. What more can I say? Thanks for all the support here.

I hate to say this but I think your dad has lost it, all over a beach house. tsk tsk tsk I hope he realizes karma is ***** and something like this is not forgivable in the next life.

Nevertheless, why is the trustee claiming abuse? I would have thought you would have just included your dad as any other creditor. Its not as if this is some sort of personal liability suit.

I think you should catch Mr dad out and dare him to file an AP. Tell him he does not have the balls to do it. I am sure he will get worked up and probably do so out of spite. In which case, he will lose and pay both lawyers fees.

[Kingxray]

I hate to say this but I think your dad has lost it, all over a beach house. tsk tsk tsk I hope he realizes karma is ***** and something like this is not forgivable in the next life.

Nevertheless, why is the trustee claiming abuse? I would have thought you would have just included your dad as any other creditor. Its not as if this is some sort of personal liability suit.

I think you should catch Mr dad out and dare him to file an AP. Tell him he does not have the balls to do it. I am sure he will get worked up and probably do so out of spite. In which case, he will lose and pay both lawyers fees.

My dad is included as one of our creditors. His lawyer shows up to the 341 and asks questions regarding our paperwork and then he goes to the UST to stir up trouble because he knows he cannot win an AP. Our lawyer said my dad's lawyer is good and we were expecting this. Now it is up to us what we should do next. Our lawyer is going to call the UST and find out why they filed the abuse. Hopefully we will know more tomorrow when we see our lawyer. My question is, if we go C13 can my dad's lawyer object to our proposed payment plan? I wonder.

[lrprn]

My question is, if we go C13 can my dad's lawyer object to our proposed payment plan? I wonder.

Having had a very difficult time with my own father (not over bk), you need to stop worrying about your dad and do what is right for the two of you.

Your dad has made his choice, and I regret with all my heart that he apparently has decided that that his money tied up in this house is more important to him than you, his own daughter. There's something terribly pathetic and sad about that.

However, as my own father's mother used to tell me, "Who said you have to stay stuck on the spit over the fire he built to roast you? Jump off! Nobody's keeping you there but you!" (Nothing like a midwestern farm woman to get right to the point ) And my grannie was right, too.

If you and your husband can walk away from this and save your own financial lives, then as incredibly difficult as it may be, you must divorce your emotions from this awful situation and do whatever you two need to do.

If your father's lawyer knows that they don't have a leg to stand on, then let him go involve the US trustee. All it might do is slow down your discharge. Tie yourselves a patience knot and let what's going to happen happen. If there's no legal leg for your father to stand on, then you'll come out all right in the end.

And please - do your every best to not feel one minute's guilt about this. Your dad created this situation - you did not. Quit punishing yourself and trying to please him. It's possible that no matter what you do, he may never come around. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll find some peace of mind. And who knows....maybe at some time in the future if your dad does come to realize the horrible thing he has done here, maybe then your relationship might improve. But that won't happen if you are doing all the meeting halfway.

[lifelesson]

Sounds like you really should be reffering to your dad as FamDAMly.

Sorry he is causing you trouble. Hope all works out.

[shabam]

My dad is included as one of our creditors. His lawyer shows up to the 341 and asks questions regarding our paperwork and then he goes to the UST to stir up trouble because he knows he cannot win an AP. Our lawyer said my dad's lawyer is good and we were expecting this. Now it is up to us what we should do next. Our lawyer is going to call the UST and find out why they filed the abuse. Hopefully we will know more tomorrow when we see our lawyer. My question is, if we go C13 can my dad's lawyer object to our proposed payment plan? I wonder.

What grounds is he objecting on? he cannot possible be objecting for the sake of objecting. BK doesn't work that way and its not a civil court or civil matter. My only advice is make your you cross your 't's and dot your 'i's. This way they have nothing against you. Let the UST get involved, as long as you have not hidden anything and filed out the petition correctly, what can he get you on? He cannot file abuse simply because your dad says so.

This sounds like it's on the verge of harassment. There must be something under the bk code your lawyer can chase your father for. About time you guys go on the offensive, rather than the remain defensive. Press him, even trick him into getting you to try pay. Bam, violation of automatic stay. Two can play his game.

[Kingxray]

However, as my own father's mother used to tell me, "Who said you have to stay stuck on the spit over the fire he built to roast you? Jump off! Nobody's keeping you there but you!" (Nothing like a midwestern farm woman to get right to the point ) And my grannie was right, too.


Love this quote, love it! I will use this in the future, thanks! I'm not sure why the UST filed the statement of abuse but my lawyer said my dad's lawyer was going to the UST with issues with our B22 and schedules and make a stink about them, as they were brought up at our 341.

I believe the reason that it was filed was because our tax returns do not match exactly with our witholding and we didn't withold enough and therefore it is considered income. My lawyer's arguement is that we will not get such a big refund this year since we are surrendering the home that my dad has the lien on. I don't really understand it but we will learn more tomorrow when we see our lawyer.

As I said, this is the second time we have filed and the second time my dad's lawyer got involved. I just want this to end and get our lives back, whichever is easier and quicker. I need closure for ourselves and from my dad! Thanks again for all the support.

[shabam]

Look, Bk is all about thoroughness. Make sure everything is 110% correct, triple check if need be.

Assuming you passed the means test, if everything in your petitions is correct, what else can they go after you for really....

Keep up the fight and you will get it.

[aces67]

If you've got a lawyer that's willing to fight then I say fight for it! Good Luck!