Did you tell your kids???

[RainMoM]

I have no plans on telling my kids, who are 10 and 12 .. All tho, they do need to come with us to our 341 meeting.. if they have any questions, then I will explain the whole thing to them.. Why stress them out.. I have enough of that for the both of us !

[coffee]

I dont plan on telling the kids. They are young. Honestly it would make them worry more than anything else.

[OhioFiler]

Our 12 through 15 year old kids don't need to know our financial business. We explained we were going through some refinancing and to expect phone calls from telemarketers mispronouncing our last name because of our plans.

We've made sure not to drastically effect the children's lives with the burden of our mistakes. We've always taught the kids to manage their money and save (do as I say, not as I do ) so there is no need to teach them a lesson.

This process is difficult for adults to comprehend as evidenced by this forum. Why try to confuse our kids with it? If they ever bring it up later we'll be as honest with them as possible.

[Notes4fr]

I have a 13 year old and 16 year old. We are losing the house as well, so we have told them what is going on. They know we've had issues with money, so it isn't too much of a secret for them. They also know that the phone calls from 1-800 numbers will be stopping soon!

[BkinTX]

I think it's important that kids understand what the family is going through. The changes impact them as well and there may be sacrifices they have to make.

Sheltering children from the reality of finance and the economy is not wise, IMO. Not that they have to know every detail, but it's useful for them to know what bk is, why it's necessary for the family, how it will affect them, and how to avoid it.

[kenshirley]

Yes our kids knew about this all along. But they are older with their own families too.
First of all if you don't tell them and you listed them anywhere on any credit application at almost any time they will find the phone numbers and addresses and start calling relatives when you stop answering the phones as many do.
Many forget that they gave information about relatives and such during the process of getting credit. Why do you think they wanted this information? It's so they can locate you and/or get new information such as an address or a phone number for you the debtor.
Out kids are both in trouble too due to job losses in the last year. They may well be following us through this procedure.

[OhioFiler]

I have a 13 year old and 16 year old. We are losing the house as well, so we have told them what is going on. They know we've had issues with money, so it isn't too much of a secret for them. They also know that the phone calls from 1-800 numbers will be stopping soon!

If you're losing the house I can see where it may be necessary to explain somw things to the children. Best of luck with your future!

I see over the last couple generations a general blurring of roles in the parent-child relationship and too many people seem to need to include their kids in everything that used to be adults only. This appears to be a result of parents trying to befriend their children rather than parent them.

When we were kids I would never have known if my parents were struggling financially and it would have been odd to have them come to me and explain their situation.

If we're to include our children in discussions and decisions based on the premise of family where do we draw the line? Do we involve the kids when mom discovers dad was fooling around with his 15 year younger co-worker? How about when mom gets busted for DUI?

[downsized]

My kids are younger so it's been easy to keep from them. When we leave to meet the atty and they ask where we're going, we tell them to a meeting and that seems to be ok. They know we're broke since dh lost his job so it's no surprise when we say we can't pay...even by credit card....for unnecessary purchases anymore. They think the changes are due to dh's job loss.

[kenshirley]

I don't think about younger kids but I am thinking that you are correct not to tell the younger ones.
Kids can get depressed too.

[lafrteacher]

I told my three, ages 13,12, and 8. The youngest doesn't really understand; she thought I was applying for a job with the lawyer!

[teacher]

I told my kid, she didn't seem to care. Then again she's a beagle, and really just wanted to know when she was getting a treat.

[atowntx512]

I have a 6 y/o and 1 y/o and never plan on telling. Even if they were older, I wouldn't tell...

[MrSmithster]

i would rather not tell them, then tell them, and then ask them to lie or hide it from relatives and others. that doesnt seem to set a very good example at all. some things kids just dont NEED to know. examples can be made without inserting yourself into the example. and of course i am teaching my kids good money habits, and they have a good understanding of this economic slowdown, and how its effecting most everyone we know. one good thing that does seem to come with filing is that we probably would never have taught our kids the importance of money management. for me, i just dont feel its nesessary to to tell them im filing BK. in fact, you all and me are the only ones that know i filed(its all public, i know) and thats the way it will stay hopefully. just me, to each their own

[MrSmithster]

i told my kid, she didn't seem to care. Then again she's a beagle, and really just wanted to know when she was getting a treat.

thanks for the chuckle

[BkinTX]

I don't think DUI and bk are similar.

Sharing pertinent information regarding the family situation with older children is certainly not befriending them. It's being merciful.