what if I refuse to sign the reaffirmation?

[aces67]

Dh wants to keep and reaffirm my car. The payment is $592 a month and I have 40 or 41 payments left at 16% interest. I do not want to reaffirm it and I can't talk him into letting it go back. The loan is in his name only so my question is do I have to sign the reaffirmation also or just him? We are in a community property state. I'm trying to stick to my guns on this one. He's the only one that works and his job isn't all that stable so I think it's dumb to put ourselves in financial risk like that.

I'm fine with trying to do a ride through I just don't want to be legally stuck with this car if something happens and we can't afford it.

Okay so here's my full disclosure: I don't work I have no degree to fall back on. I'm starting college in the fall but it will be a while before I get any significant classes behind me. I'm skilled in medical billing and transcription and it does pay decent but not a huge amount. Things have been rocky between dh and I for a year now and I'm thinking that I might want out I just can't do it right now. I know I can't afford that vehicle note on my own and dh can't afford it either at least not after paying child support.

So there it is. In a nutshell I'm really just trying to protect myself.

[JRScott]

Always a hard matter and financial trouble pushes many people over the edge.

Sometimes guys buy stuff for our significant other not because they need it, or even want it. Sometimes it just makes us feel like we are providers. In a way the troubles could be such that he feels this is what he's doing for you. It is a mindset, that unfortunately is hard for guys to end.

Since it is a community property state it doesn't matter if its just in one of your names or the other it is a community debt or community property. Thus him signing basically puts you on the hook, are you both filing bankruptcy?

Marriage Counseling might help work through some of the issues.

Here is a nice quote:

"These two lessons are the essence of provident living. When faced with the choice to buy, consume, or engage in worldly things and activities, we all need to learn to say to one another, “We can’t afford it, even though we want it!” or “We can afford it, but we don’t need it—and we really don’t even want it!”

Elder Robert D. Hales

He had these other words to relating to an experience with his wife:

""The second lesson was learned several years later when we were more financially secure. Our wedding anniversary was approaching, and I wanted to buy Mary a fancy coat to show my love and appreciation for our many happy years together. When I asked what she thought of the coat I had in mind, she replied with words that again penetrated my heart and mind. “Where would I wear it?” she asked. (At the time she was a ward Relief Society president helping to minister to needy families.)

Then she taught me an unforgettable lesson. She looked me in the eyes and sweetly asked, “Are you buying this for me or for you?” In other words, she was asking, “Is the purpose of this gift to show your love for me or to show me that you are a good provider or to prove something to the world?” I pondered her question and realized I was thinking less about her and our family and more about me." Elder Robert D. Hales.

[AngelinaCatHub]

Scott, you're sounding like 'Hub now.

Very good quotes and her hubby needs to reevaluate the worth of that car against the value of their marriage. DW might even state to him "if you truly love me, get rid of this debt" They could do so much better as there are a glut of good used cars out there. Car dealers are dying to sell anything just to stay in business. Mrs. is happily driving a 93 Grand Am we purchased at an auction for $800. An old police car with low miles but probably a lot of idling time. That was four years ago. I think other than tires, I put one alternator on it, and spark plugs. Four years and it runs perfectly fine and the air is great. Cannot even feel the engine idle. It also has a feature that is very rare on most cars. A clear Title. 'Hub

[StartingOver08]

I think JRScott hit the nail on the head. We have been surrounded by consumerism for so long that we hardly recognize the push to buy (its everywhere)

You may find, once the pressure of your debt has been purged, that you both see things differently now. I know it is difficult to convince DH (at least my DH) to not reaffirm, but in this case I think it is imperative that you not keep the vehicle given the info you provided. 16% interest is high - those payments are high and 40 months is forever

[aces67]

Thanks everyone! We filed bankruptcy jointly. I guess I will talk to him some more. It's just so frustrating. I mean it is afterall my car and I'm the one who doesn't want it so I don't see the issue. But then again I didn't want it when we bought it and dh bought it anyway

[LuciluS]

You are the one who is thinking 'Smart'. You need a car to get you back and forth to college and possibly to buy groceries, etc. If you don't want the car, then I suggest the following:

If he is so adamant on signing the reaffirmation on the vehicle you drive, tell him if he signs that paper, he will also be signing Divorce papers in 30-90 days. In AR it takes 60 days to get a divorce. Don't know what the time limit in your State would be for a divorce.

I dang sure would threaten him especially if your marriage is rocky. As a Couple, or as an Individual in a Chapter 7 bankruptcy, this vehicle's monthly payment is too high and the interest rate is also.

[OhioFiler]

You must not reaffirm that car loan. Do not let him do that to you. That is $24,000 in payments over the next 3 1/3 years you'll be stuck with if you reaffirm.

[whipster1]

Agree. Just say NO to the reaff. That payment is huge and the interest rate is a joke.