Trying to decide to file or not...

[drew489]

No - not really a mistake.

It's more an issue of balance...knowing when to leave money IN the business, and knowing when to take it OUT.

A very hard lesson I learned during my permenant sentance to the the self employed jail cell (cynical, aren't I?) ....determining exactly what your motivation is....do you want to create something larger than yourself (i.e. a successful business, with employees, and customers, and a good reputation, a good product, and payroll taxes, income taxes, workman's comp, employee health coverage, etc), or are you looking to create a living and wealth for YOURSELF.

Sometimes, if you're really lucky - the two go hand in hand. Most times, they become severe disconnects.

That, IMHO, is the reason most small business fail. Just my two cents (yuk yuk).

However, if you can get past your own initial motiviation (wealth creation vs the need to build something)....and then start to look at your business in a more abstract way (not saying with less passion - but maybe with less emotion)...I do believe that any individual is more apt to make it a success.

Just my "2 cents" - YMMV

(don't mind me - I'm just rambling this evening.....it still hurts to see what I've done to my company.)

Yea, some great points. Being self-employed is such an odd thing. It consumes you, it's addicting, rewarding, damaging, fun, torture, etc.

I am, honestly, looking to build a culture and a company for my future and my daughter's future. I figure I'm not getting a pension, social security and sure as hell no inheritance so I might as well build something for her future.

At the same time, I'm so incredibly burnt out I can barely think most days. I have not taken a real break in so long that it can make me "lazy" and unable to concentrate at work. I'm going to try to take a vacation next month to see if that clears my mind. I haven't done that in 6+ years.

So, anyway, I am TRYING to build something, I've gone weeks/months without a check to keep dumping the "profit" back into the company to help it grow. I want employees, profit sharing (already trying this now) and I really have a great vision...I'm just not fully capable of implementing it right now due to major burn out.

Lastly, I'm completely terrified of losing everything I've worked so hard for over the last few years. I'm incredibly close to losing my home and if that happens, that may be the tipping point for me to pack it up, really simply life, move to the beach with my family and get a mindless job for the next few years (waiting tables comes to mind).

We will see, I pray a lot. Ugh.

[last2cents]

Praying is good.

But God only helps those that help themselves....so my advice (which you can take with my last two cents)...is CURE THE BURNOUT.

Do you love what you're doing? I mean, really LOVE IT?. If not, you're in the wrong business....and you'll never get to that point (where you have something worth leaving).

Now, if you do love it...and I mean, again, really love it...do yourself the favor and take the break. You're already contemplating BK...if you are going to proceed with it..you can take a bit of a break and start to learn to breathe again.

Breathing is important. I've forgotten how to do it over the last several months, but I'm learning again.

Drew - you will never leave your little girl anything worthwhile if you're dead from stress before you can teach her what to with it.

Now, regarding waiting tables...I can only say that YOU definitely need a break.......only someone who's NEVER waited tables would suggest that as a viable option (or of course, if you're a sick individual like me, who actually enjoys being tortured.)