here's our situation - new to BK - PLEASE ADVISE

[nogreen]

I've been cruising threads for a couple hours here ... trying to learn as much as possible. Sounds very complicated, maybe more than I thought. I did some research after learning of my ex's 7 , and not quite sure how he got thru, really. Actually, it was false, fradulent & unethical, but he passed thru anyhow & was discharged in 5 months.

Realizing now, maybe this is the route to take, myself, but really not sure. Here's a quick bio :

*Married about a year with 4 kids (3 are not with us FT, we are fighting that tho, in the current.)
*ALL debt on both sides is pre-marital - basically the leftovers of 2 ridiculous & spiteful divorces. We are in TN.
* We both work FT (but considering school & cutting hours) and make 10 & 11/hr
*We own 3 crappy cars (need to get rid of one), we "rent" our home from family
*We have no assets aside from normal home furnishings.

I am opposed to BK (fyi) for myself, but in DH case, it seems the way out. His ex has ruined him. Mine did too, guess I'm still in denial. LOL Just confused if I should file jointly with him. We have some $$ in the bank, but would like to secure it, to pay back family. I also have about 5k in a 401k.

We EACH have about 10k in CC debt, ALL from our ex's. I have been paying my debts monthly & on time for years. I believe my ex's shady credit & recent BK put a dent on my score, as the interest is going up (like 30% APR). My DH has not paid on his in over a year. Noone is coming after us, yet. The plan was we would pay mine down monthly. He had a home w/his ex, which was to be sold. His share (at least 30k) was going to pay off his debts & our home in full (we "rent to own" from family - the home is not in our name, for this very reason) His ex decided to forclose on their home (in his name) just for spite & it sold at auction for the payoff. There are $$'s tacked onto that, I'm sure, but as to how much, we don't know. Anyhow, we lost the money from the house, & I don't see paying off all this debt now. We make the bills ok now, but forsee a car pmt or two soon .... my debts I think are manageable, but we can't double them +++.

In the past 2 years, we have spent over 12k in legal fees & it continues. I'd like to recover some of that but I've about lost hope. My ex doesn't pay support & my DH does, therefore we are out over $1000/mo, as is. My ex is a financial nightmare, which is partly why I got out. He racked up about 7k on my CC's & I purchased a piece of furniture (3k w/interest) about 6mos before separation, which I do not possess. He won't give it up & I don't want it back anyhow, now, yet I pay the bill every month & it's far from over.

We got divorced, but our assets & liabilities were never settled. I've been fighting to do so & he keeps stalling. He filed BK7 & was discharged a few mos ago. Only included "his debts", sold transferred marital property, etc etc. Not sure if they will come after me now ??

Any suggestions, advice would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance You'll be seeing me more & more in the upcoming future, as I have alot of questions & concerns ...... we'll start here nogreen (just glad to be out of that nightmare) This situation is way better, just need a permanent remedy for the past.

[nogreen]

We don't have any assets, I think, except my 401k. Would they take that ? What about our tax refunds ? What are the future restrictions, other than crappy credit ?

Should DH file alone & we pay mine off, & save my credit ?

Should I just go ahead & file with him, giving us both a fresh start ? Since his filing will probably impact my credit anyhow. We are both very responsible & live simple lives.

[TeacherMomma]

Am I reading right that you have 20K total between the 2 of you? That would be what you are looking to be relieved of in BK?

[nogreen]

yeah, maybe a bit more in odds & ends .... leftover stuff with the house.

[denisejohn65]

You only have 10k between you both? I;m single mom and have in cc 25-30, plus condo, car and sm amount of medical bills.

[Rick9972]

yeah, maybe a bit more in odds & ends .... leftover stuff with the house.

I hate to sound rude, but here goes.

You need to spend an evening with your SO and figure out his, mine, and ours. The key thing to remember is a divorce decree means nothing to a creditor. If you were on the account before the divorce you are probably still there, and if the ex BK'd then that debt is now all yours.

You must spend the time constructively figuring out where you are, and then we can give advice as appropiate. Your first post is such a waste of time, my bloodpressure went up reading it.

[denisejohn65]

Rick. Let's be nice.Some people have more debt than others. Debt still causes stress no matter how much you have. I don't really know a lot about the Chatper 7 my Lawyer filed. I feel stupid alot of times. I post on here to learn about everything that I can. Please be nice. You could read my posts and say....man is she stupid.

[jb300]

I agree about being nice. This forum is about helping people not putting them down.

OP-- I don't know the best answers to your questions but I am sure someone with a lot of knowledge will give you their opinion. Hang in there, deep breath, one step at a time.

[Frshstart09]

Hi Nogreen,

Sounds like you have it coming from all directions (both exes, etc). Have you consulted an attorney yet? You may want to determine if you qualify for a 7 versus a 13. Considering your exe's recent bk and your DH's former obligations, BK may be a viable way to wipe that clean and not have any future surprises. Good luck to you!

[eddiep]

Rick are you her ex?

[nogreen]

deep breath .... here goes .... again.

1st off, Rick, your post made my BP go up. If you have to be nasty, keep ur comments to yourself, please. TO ALL : I understand many have much worse financial problems than me, but mine are still there & I am trying to start fresh. I don't live beyond my means, whatsoever & don't feel personally responsible for the mess I am in. I married real young after getting pregnant (& yes I acknowledge my err), and spent well over a decade trying to escape from a very selfish person who abused me & my family in every way possible. I can't stress how relieved I am to be out of that mess. However, I am still dealing with the aftermath & I don't really know what to expect, or which route to take with my new life.

As for the ex : 1st - there is no divorce decree regarding finances to date yet. We are divorced & that is it. We both had CC's & our finances were completely separate. I was not on any of his (to my knowledge) & he was not on any of mine, other than one where he was an authorized user. He filed 7 on all his debt & I still get (and pay) on mine. I have heard tho, that they could still come after me, considering it ALL marital debt, regardless of whose name is actually on the cards. He lied all through the BK, fradulantly obtained credit, did not disclose selling a vehicle, lied about personal property, overstated child support (& he now pays zero, as of discharge), & even married a girl with a bunch of kids DAYS before filing, so that he could even get through with a 7. (legal I guess, but really ... he's a user & abuser & is very transparent) etc. etc. etc. Absolute loser who will never have anything & will back in BK court in a very short time. Glad that is her problem now & not mine. I still have dreams, goals, plans for my future & am amazed at how far I've come in only 2 years. He dragged me down for most of my life & I refuse to let that continue now that he's out of the picture. Honestly I am against BK (at least for me, anyways) but I don't want another decade of useless spending to happen, only to later say, why didn't I just go BK years ago.

Anyhow, I apologize for rambling on. I was trying to give a clear brief overview of my situation & thought I did that in my OP. If you need more details, please just ask. We will seek legal advice as soon as we can, but right now, we are extremely busy with life & are both still in family court too. We have 3, possibly 4 trials in July. I understand so many are seeking financial answers, so when the time comes to see a lawyer, I would be surprised to get in & get answers right away. Trying to learn AMAP beforehand.
My SO & I have made attempts to figure out where we are. We have come up with about 20k in CC debt together. Originally, we were expecting over 100k loss in his home with his ex, plus the 20k. However, the house sold at auction for payoff. I believe there are hidden costs associated with all that, but so far, we've not heard anything. He still gets mail, trying to save his home from forclosure (hello, it's gone!!)

20k may not seem like alot to most of you. But it's more than we have & are willing to spend. We'd much rather save for our future & our kids (we have 4), we both drive 13 & 20 year old cars. We didn't have a real wedding, or honeymoon, not one single get-away or done anything for ourselves & we've had the year from hell. We are slowly replacing everything we ever owned thats been stolen by our ex's. Not trying to whine, we are dealing .... just don't wanna spend the next 10 years (while the kids are young) paying the piper for our retarded ex's instead of spending for the benefit & well being of our family & our new life. We make about 47k together (& job security) & will have our home paid for in 5-7 yrs (3-4 if we can get rid of all the non-essential garbage)

Thank you in advance. nogreen

[nogreen]

thank you, frshstart09.

I am trying to be patient with this. I tried to steer my DH away from BK too. If the house debt was there, that was a no brainer. He wants to get moving on this, before he starts getting garnished. He hasn't paid on anything in over a year. If he gets garnished, we are screwed. I am waiting to see if my ex's people start after me too.

I am not overly stressed at all, yet, but I could see that easily happening & want to bypass all that drama, ya know. I've heard BK is a cake walk & I've heard just the opposite. I want to understand the long term consequences, as well. We have a home, so that's no worry. If we have enough cash flow monthly, we can figure out a future car purchase. (not real concerned with that either, I just want to be able to do it w/o feeling risky). I don't rely on CC's, only use them for convenience. I wouldn't want to lose that option because I am responsible, however the CC co.s are screwing me with crazy high interest & may wind up telling them to take a hike, in the end.

Do we even need credit anyway? I've spent years working hard to keep mine clean, only now to flush it away??

[bkmaggster]

nogreen,

All I can say is that you are asking the right questions, and some of them are ones only you can answer, but the people here are really nice and seem to come from all different sorts of backgrounds and have good ideas.

Many of the questions you are asking come down to personal values. When I see the amounts you have posted, I think that in your shoes I might default on everything, save money, and then settle with everyone in 6 months or a year. That would trash your credit in the short term, but not as badly as a BK. It would also be extremely stressful dodging and then negotiating with your creditors, but it may be a viable option for you.

Many people value their credit scores very highly, and like the convenience of credit cards. BK may not fall in line with those values. I think creditors make people into slaves, but that is my value system based on my experience. I never want a credit card or a loan ever again, so I don't care about my score, know what I mean?

Keep asking questions from here, lawyers, friends, anyone you can, and then measure up the answers to your value system, and what makes sense for you. You're thinking this through logically and asking the right questions so IMO you can't go wrong, whatever you decide.

[nogreen]

Thank you bkmaggster ! I will keep thinking on this & doing my research. I absolutely agree CC make people into slaves. So many abuse them, & the one's who use responsibly end up with the bill. One of my CC's I noticed recently, went up to 30% interest. I expect the others will follow suit. Wondering if my DH files alone, how will that affect me & my CC's ? We are newly married & have no debt together. He's not even on my checking acct (because BK has been on his mind before me)

The original plan was for me to pay off mine (would take a couple years but not too major), & DH was ignoring his, to settle later, after his ex sold the home & he rec'd 30k +. Well his ex ruined that. We could also pay our home outright & be free & clear from ALL DEBT. But his ex let the house foreclose for NO reason, mortgage was $800 & had 60k + equity & she just rented an apt for $825. The foreclosure was obviously a personal choice & not for financial reasons. I think she should pay royally for that choice, myself. Unbelievable !!!!

I am expecting a $4k windfall in July (I pray) but I want to bank it. We have alot of home repairs at the moment & are trying to do a reasonable, slow remodel. I would like to pay off a couple of the small CC's & transfer the big one for a better interest deal (if I could) Otherwise could maybe get family to take it & just pay them.

I am hoping to be relieved of the furniture bill, with judge ordering ex to pay it & repay all my pmts made. He has trashed it & I don't want it or the bill either. Since he has been an ass about the whole thing, he should pay for it. That would only leave me with one CC @ 4k - 18% int. I could do that & get a new car, if receiving CS.

I also pray for reimbursement for ALL legal bills pertaining to the divorce. He was at fault & has acted in a manner that wastes my lawyer time, and results in a lose on his part, everytime. He has been jailed already & is about to go back again. Won't pay CS, had a killer job & now works under the table, receives welfare of all forms, ducks dodges & lavishly spends on himself. (I couldn't care less if he was paying CS, it's not my business) but ...... he's not paying a cent & claims to be father of the year, fighting for split custody. Right !!!

Since he keeps losing losing losing, he should have pay my legals, aside from "reasonable costs". I want reimbursement for the "reasonable costs" too, because he has stalled & kept all of our property, even my family heirlooms. I have had to replace everything & some is not replaceable. (small price to pay to be rid of him but still) He's made me spend my CS on a lawyer (his own atty can't stand him) & he attempts to keep me broke. Has no idea, I have thousands in savings ..... hehehe

If I can get my back CS & keep him current, the legal bills paid, & relief of the furniture bill, life is good :-) Left with DH's mess then & focus on that.

I just don't have a whole lot of hope. Things don't seem to work out how they should & this fool could get away with murder (literally) He gets out of everything. We'll see in July, if we can get into court & he doesn't postpone AGAIN !!! ARGGGHHHH !!! Wish me luck & depending on this outcome, will tackle problems #2, #3, etc etc. LOL I can't tackle everything at once & keep my sanity, ya know.

Apologizing again for rambling (I can type fast tho)
Thank you so much for your comforting words :-) Good luck in your battles, as well :-)

[Kpower]

How much of the 20k is your husbands and how much is yours? If you have thousands in the bank and 4k coming in next month then is it possible you could try to work out a settlement deal with your cards? Tell them you will pay 40%, that would be 8k. I am far from an expert but I would think that money could be a liability to you if you attempt a bk.