Did my ex girlfrield commit fraud? Should I report or...?

[oneklub]

I just found out that the mother of my child filed for Chapter 7 a few months ago. She did all of this during the settlement of our child support case. The bankruptcy case just closed a few weeks ago. She does not know that I know.

Because bankruptcy records are public (PACER), I've been able to see exactly how much her income and expenses are. On the Chapter 7 Schedule J document she indicated child expenses are about $250/month". I send her $700 per month and I pay for health insurance $220/month (So total = $920/month). There is a detailed accounting of her spending in the papers. She did not report the following:

1) almost $2000 I sent to her before she filed for bankruptcy.

2) She also did not report recent income of several thousand dollars for birth costs that I sent to her and she did not report the $700 that I send her every month. She knew that she would soon be receiving this money before her creditors/341 meeting and she began receiving it before her debt ($100,000) was completely and officially discharged by the court.

3) Day care costs which she was paying before filing bankruptcy, are about $700/month. This amount is not in her petition (Part of the money I send to her is for day care...I'm thinking gift income from a relative/friend payed for day care and she chose not to report it but I don't know).

I don't know whether she did this intentionally or not. But ignorance of the law is no excuse and I think this may constitute perjury. Some of the other numbers seem questionable, too. Anyway, this information obviously makes me think about 1) going to court to reduce my child support and 2) possibly getting in touch with the FBI to report fraud.

Based on her sworn financial statements to the court, I am paying MUCH more than my fair share.

Here is the VERY difficult part. She does a great job of taking care of my son whom I love dearly. And we get along fairly well. I know going through bankruptcy can be an emotionally wrenching experienced. If I act against her, it could affect my son. (She would not hurt him intentionally. But if she becomes emotionally ill, it will affect him).

Any thoughts on what I should do? I don't think there are any "winners" regardless...This is tough for me financially and, I'm guessing, tough for her emotionally.

Thank you.

P.S. On Schedule I she reported $0 for "Alimony, maintenance or support payments payable to the debtor for the debtor's use or that of dependents listed above."

[StartingOver08]

OP states: On Schedule I she reported $0 for "Alimony, maintenance or support payments payable to the debtor for the debtor's use or that of dependents listed above

When did you start making the payments? Was it before or after the filing date?

[oneklub]

I made voluntary payments before the filing date and before she sued in court.

Since the settlement (which she knew of before the creditors meeting), I pay more.

[gingerbug]

I just found out that the mother of my child filed for Chapter 7 a few months ago. She did all of this during the settlement of our child support case. The bankruptcy case just closed a few weeks ago. She does not know that I know.

Because bankruptcy records are public (PACER), I've been able to see exactly how much her income and expenses are. On the Chapter 7 Schedule J document she indicated child expenses are about $250/month". I send her $700 per month and I pay for health insurance $220/month (So total = $920/month). There is a detailed accounting of her spending in the papers. She did not report the following:

1) almost $2000 I sent to her before she filed for bankruptcy.

In my case, if the moeny was already spent, it did not count as an asset since I already spent it.
2) She also did not report recent income of several thousand dollars for birth costs that I sent to her and she did not report the $700 that I send her every month. She knew that she would soon be receiving this money before her creditors/341 meeting and she began receiving it before her debt ($100,000) was completely and officially discharged by the court.
I suspect the several thousand was spent on birth costs. She may have known she was going to receive but, I have learned, if the money is not in the bank, dont count on it. If she received it after her 341 meeting it probably does not matter.

3) Day care costs which she was paying before filing bankruptcy, are about $700/month. This amount is not in her petition (Part of the money I send to her is for day care...I'm thinking gift income from a relative/friend payed for day care and she chose not to report it but I don't know). I guess I dont understand the problem here, maybe she did not claim it as an expense cause it was covered partly by you?

I don't know whether she did this intentionally or not. But ignorance of the law is no excuse and I think this may constitute perjury. Some of the other numbers seem questionable, too. Anyway, this information obviously makes me think about 1) going to court to reduce my child support and 2) possibly getting in touch with the FBI to report fraud.

Based on her sworn financial statements to the court, I am paying MUCH more than my fair share.

Here is the VERY difficult part. She does a great job of taking care of my son whom I love dearly. And we get along fairly well. I know going through bankruptcy can be an emotionally wrenching experienced. If I act against her, it could affect my son. (She would not hurt him intentionally. But if she becomes emotionally ill, it will affect him).

Any thoughts on what I should do? I don't think there are any "winners" regardless...This is tough for me financially and, I'm guessing, tough for her emotionally.

Thank you.

P.S. On Schedule I she reported $0 for "Alimony, maintenance or support payments payable to the debtor for the debtor's use or that of dependents listed above."

Personally, and I say this because you posted for opinions so I suspect you might expect to hear this. I feel you might be feeling bitter and I would probably feel the same way. Turning her in says more about you than it does about her. Also, at least in my case, my lawyer and trustee are all over EVERYTHING and nothing got by them and it would be difficult to pull one over on them. You have to decide if you are going to let this one go and get over it or if you can live with yourself after dragging the both of you through more drama.

[BkinTX]

Unless it's hurting you, I would drop it.

[willbfree]

If you expect to have any form of a civilized working relationship with the mother of your child it's wise to stay quiet. It's tempting to take a cheap shot at the mother and report her but if you truly have the best interests of your child at heart let it go. If not expect to battle the woman over every issue for the next eighteen years.

That doesn't mean forget it. Keep good records of what you found on PACER and what you have paid. That info may come in handy down the road to fight a custody battle or if you need to renegotiate child support payments. Save the ammo until you truly need it.

[okiebk09]

Well to me those are child support costs. I am not sure where if at all child support costs are included in income. However, regardless(in my opinion) of how much you dislike the mother of you child she is still that. She is the mother of your child and if you cause any hardship purposfully on her it will also affect your child. Think about that. Sometimes it is better to just accept that you know about her filing and move on. Look at it this way. She will now be able to better help support your child with her income as well as what you provide for the child. Move on and enjoy life as there are more important things in life that money. Again all of this is my opinion.

[oneklub]

[In response to some of the responses, let me clarify: Turning her in is the LAST thing I would do...but I wanted to provoke the forum to think of other options. If we end up in court again (god forbid), this information will come out...so just "forgetting it" doesn't seem wise for either of us].

[liz417]

[In response to some of the responses, let me clarify: Turning her in is the LAST thing I would do...but I wanted to provoke the forum to think of other options. If we end up in court again (god forbid), this information will come out...so just "forgetting it" doesn't seem wise for either of us].

Oh my gosh, my eyes hurt with that yellow color!!!! I can't read your post either!! I must be getting old...

[oneklub]

Lol...yeah, it hurt my eyes, too. I changed it to red and I'll try to delete the yellow post.

[eddiep]

Since you asked for opinions, I think you should let it go. If she is a good mom why get involved. In the long run it will be your child that will pay the price. I say let her move on and get a fresh start, your child will benefit by her being financially stable.

[Recessionist]

Based on the information you offered, it isn't clear if she was untruthful or not. If you have something to gain from this monetarily that you can't live without, that is one thing, but otherwise it just seems like you are angry about your situation with your ex. That's my humble opinion.

[oneklub]

Personally, and I say this because you posted for opinions so I suspect you might expect to hear this. I feel you might be feeling bitter and I would probably feel the same way. Turning her in says more about you than it does about her. Also, at least in my case, my lawyer and trustee are all over EVERYTHING and nothing got by them and it would be difficult to pull one over on them. You have to decide if you are going to let this one go and get over it or if you can live with yourself after dragging the both of you through more drama.

I appreciate all opinions, gingerbug. And, yes, I expected to hear opinions similar to yours. Child support, bankruptcy, and family relations are hot-button issues.

Thank you for commenting.

[oneklub]

Based on the information you offered, it isn't clear if she was untruthful or not. If you have something to gain from this monetarily that you can't live without, that is one thing, but otherwise it just seems like you are angry about your situation with your ex. That's my humble opinion.

Thanks for the comment.

You're right. I have no idea if she was untruthful. But the numbers on the forms appear incorrect.

Can you offer alternative explanations for the numbers that indicate that she was not untruthful?

And yes, as I said, it is hard for me financially now ($920/month is, for me, substantial).

[OregonMom]

Maybe you should casually mention to the mother of your child that since she filed bankruptcy and no longer has to pay $100,000 of debt that she discharged that you want the child support reduced. $900 seems quite a bit to me.