I hate it came to this

[nervousss]

On a positive note, be glad you are dealing with this now instead of later in life.

While you are now feeling guilty, remember that credit is a scam, and most of us bought into it big time. Our country has been living on false wealth for so long, it's no wonder we're in the shape that we're in. While you do have to take personal responsibility for the fact that you put yourself where you are, just know that the cc companies see you not as a person but as a little money factory. They give you 10 dollars and you owe them your first born child.

You are drowning. They don't care. You've probably paid them back what you actually owe them and more if you're anything like the rest of us around here.

This can be your personal way to stick it to the man.

They won this round. They get to put a little mark on your credit history for several years. But you'll win at life. You learned their dirty ways, and won't buy into it again. Yay

[bnwebm]

You did what was necessary in order to move forward and we all have made mistakes. Beating your head against a wall won't change the situation, what you did as a responsible adult, will. Think of the people out there who haven't gathered enough strength to even begin the process.

[downsized]

Not to hijack this thread, but I do want to thank everyone for putting your opinions out there. We struggle with our *responsibility* to our creditors daily....dh more than I. The support and perspective in this thread has helped me see our filing in a different light. We just a step in and haven't been getting calls from creditors yet, but I expect it any day since I paid only $10 to some a week or more ago when we owed much more. The first go around went ok, but I realized after talking to every one of them that not a single one cares about the economy right now or the hardships of the people who pay their high interest rates. I hate that I have to file, but this thread has bumped my mojo up a notch to just do what we need to do and get it done. Attorney appt is Tuesday. I'm nervous and excited at the same time.

[Moneypenny]

I think there is a little something that the original poster is pointing to that is worth hanging on to: we cant control outside circumstances but we do have some power over our own moral course in life. You can keep your moral compass but at the same time recognize that circumstances have forced you to surrender some of the control over your moral course. Who is the loser here? You are! They are losing money but you are losing something far more precious (temporarily hopefully). In that sense, you should not feel guilty, but at the same time can recognize that you did lose something. Hopefully when you gain control of your moral course again, you will appreciate it even more and become an even more morally sound person. That's how it works, right? You don't learn to be good just by having happy lovely warm experiences all the time and making no mistakes. We are here to learn to be good. So, you have to recognize what the process is in which we learn to be good. And that process is not "being good all the time." The process is making mistakes sometimes.

That is the important thing i wanted to say and to acknowledge in the original poster. On the other hand, think of it this way: there are rules of the game. Those rules are there before anyone begins playing. BK is part of those rules. BK was part of the loans and part of the calculations of the creditors. It was there all along. They factor that risk into their lending decisions, into their rates, their minimum payments. They are playing the game to extract the most amount of money out of us that they can with the rules of the game. Since we are playing this game together, it is our right to play with all the rules too. If we are playing soccer it is within our rights to come and kick the ball away from someone who is dribbling, as long as we use our feet, dont push them over, etc. We dont think "It's not nice to take the ball away," you play by the rules. The creditors are going to do the maximum to get our money according to the rules and are not worrying whether it is nice or not. We should see the game for what it is.

(Still, the first point is worth holding onto to)

all the best,

MMP

[willbfree]

BK was made easier for me personally when I watched the major banks make risky decisions that tanked our entire economy and required TARP funding to stay solvent. Like many other business owners the recession killed my business and TARP funds were not offered to me. I would be glad to cancel my bk if the feds would offer me TARP funding. So IMO my bk became my TARP funds second hand and the feds have already paid the banks for my share. If the head of these huge banks can make poor business decisions and walk away unscathed why can't I? I can hold my head up because why am I held to a higher standard that the head of B of A or Chase?

[Meh]

Thanks for all the encouragement guys. Ive talked to an attorney who i was dead set on doing business with, but I found another one who really gave me a much better vibe. I had planned to meet with him this past friday to pay him, but something came up financially so I had to put it off for a few weeks. I plan to get it done very soon though. I still can't look at BK as a good thing even if it will provide relief. I feel like a huge piece of crap but im trying my best to not think of it as such a personal thing. It's really just a nesscessary decision to place myself in a better financial situation in the future. I am really appreciative of this site and the mounds of information that can be found here. I can't thank you all enough for the encouragement.

[Meh]

UPDATE:

I filed 6/4/09 for CH7... I still don't really feel that sigh of relief everyone was telling me about. Does the feeling of people so low ever go away?